Author: Pete Jones

Articulation is important.  How we express our needs, wants, desires, frustrations, ideas, and feelings can change our lives.  If we practice doing it in an appropriate, well thought-out manner, using words in an eloquent way, it is more likely that others will be more receptive to what we are thinking and saying.  It is more likely for them to want to engage in conversation with us.

HOW we present ourselves and our ideas is often more important than the idea, itself.

Unexpressed expectations is the number one cause of strife within any relationship.  Expressing our desires, wants, needs, requests, and expectations eloquently is one of the most important things we can do.  

The great Zig Ziglar taught that selling is an art that we all must master.  We must sell our ideas to our children when we want them to go to bed, clean their rooms, or do anything else we desire for them to do.  We must sell our ideas to our spouses, friends, co-workers, bosses, and strangers.  The more effective we are at selling our ideas to others, the more we are able to benefit ourselves and others.  It is much easier to sell anything, especially our ideas, when using proper and effective articulation.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Words are a prison?”  Isn’t it interesting how the prison cell of an articulate,  eloquently spoken, well-read communicator, differs from the prison cell of someone who is just learning how to speak and communicate?  It is similar to the difference between living in an elegant 10 million dollar mansion on the beach, and living in a dilapidated camper trailer in the middle of a desert.

OUR WORDS ARE A CREATION.

Language, and articulation in any language, is an art that can be learned, practiced, and repeated, if we desire to be more capable of effective communication, and more effective CREATORS. There will forever be room for improvement, no matter how good we get at anything, but improvements in articulation and communication will result in improvements in our personal life experiences.

A useful practice to habituate is to IDENTIFY AS A LEARNER.

Today I will research how to be more articulate in my communication, and I will practice being more articulate as I communicate and CREATE with others.  I WILL IDENTIFY AS A LEARNER.

goodinthehead is at also on Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

At work, there came a time when people were being moved to different areas.  I was rumored that I would be going to another area.  I didn’t want to go to another area, but knew that if I did it would be an exciting new experience and I would look at it as an opportunity to make new fun and meaningful connections with new people.  I’m known at work as the, “healthy guy.”  I’m the one who brings his own lunch, adheres to a strict diet plan, and stays away from carbohydrates and sugars.  A few people went to my wife, who I am lucky enough to work with, and told her things like, “Your husband is coming to our area.  Sorry in advance, but we are going to break him!  We are going to get him to stop eating healthy!”  They were just joking around.  We are, many of us at work, more like family than co-workers.  We have a lot of fun.  The people at work are awesome; however, a lot of truth is said in jest, and it made me think.

What most people don’t know is there is an important reason for this lifestyle and the “healthy” habits I have adopted.  I have degenerative disc disease, and the less I weigh the less pain I have to live with.  I have to work extremely hard to stay away from sugars and carbohydrates.

There is nothing more I love in this life than delicious comfort foods, pies, cakes, candy bars, sodas, ice creams, ice cream sandwiches, Gatorade, cheese cake, and oh my god the list could go on and on for days.  I literally put the enjoyment of food up there with the enjoyment of sex, alcohol, and drugs.  All of these things can be enjoyable.  They can also become an addiction, a way for us to distract ourselves from our pain, anguish, stress, and overwhelming anxieties.  Food has been an addiction for me for years-especially the foods with sugars and carbs.  It is so difficult for me to not, “fall of the wagon.”

I spent years of my life not knowing anything about the ill effects of sugars and carbs and what they had to do with my wight.  One day I met someone who would forever change my life.  I only saw him once.  He told me about a documentary called Fed Up on Netflix.  After watching it I began a life-long journey of improved health that has benefited me and added value to my life, but it has also affected my children and loved ones as they have witnessed the physical, mental, and emotional healing and improvements in me.

Some people have witnessed these changes and asked how I did it.  They come to me for advice and they begin the life-long journey of improved health and life enjoyment for themselves.  Other people feel disconnected from me and uncomfortable around me because they either believe that I think I am better than them because I refuse to eat as they do or they believe that I think I view myself at a “higher level” than them and they need to tear me down to “their level.”  Some people are simply jealous and don’t see or understand the struggles I have with weight, food, and pain.  They don’t realize or see all of the months and years of consistent, hard work and sacrifice that has gone into becoming who and what I have become.  Some people literally believe they can’t do the same.  They make every excuse in the book not to, just like I used to.

Truth is, it really sucks not eating whatever I want, whenever I want to.  It sucks passing up all of the goodies and treats people bring to work or make during holiday seasons and birthdays.  What sucks even worse, and what I continuously have to remind myself is the debilitating pain I experience when I don’t pass up the goodies and I splurge, lose control, and continue to splurge for weeks or even months.  Sure, it’s delicious and I enjoy it immensely, but I pay for it.  I experience heightened levels of inflammation.  I gain weight quickly and my the discs in my back begin to smash nerves, making it impossible to sit or walk comfortably.  I’ve lost many jobs in the past because of the “uncontrollable” pain.  The pH in my body changes and my immune system is lowered.  I get sick much more easily and I stay sick for weeks, and sometimes months.  I notice a change in my brain chemistry, as well, and I am much more susceptible to anger, rage, anxiety, depression, and impatience.  There is a noticeable decline in cognition, and I can’t think clearly.  I make poor decisions because of it, and we all know that one bad decision can send us on a totally different trajectory in life, creating a whole different set of circumstances for us and our loved ones. 

Luckily, the opposite is also true.  None of these are things I am willing to tolerate in my life anymore.  None of these things help me accomplish the constantly, consistently improving, enriched life I want to live.

I chose to make some important, beneficial life changes which have enriched my life and the lives of everyone around me.  It was extremely difficult at first, then became increasingly, exponentially easier as I went along and continued on in this new lifestyle.

I no longer believe in diets.  They are fads that are looked at as a temporary, not-so-enjoyable, painful experience used as a tool to quickly help us achieve an arbitrary goal before we can, “get back to normal.”  I lifestyle change is much more effective, beneficial, and longer-lasting.  I’m far from perfect, and I mess up sometimes, but I’m trying.  My confidence is growing right along with the knowledge, skills, and tools, tips, and tricks I learn about and acquire and try to share along the way.  It’s a struggle!  It is so worth the struggle. 

The benefits far outweigh the comfortable life of “ease” and immediate gratification.

This was not a quick transformation.  Here is how I started after watching Fed Up on Netflix:

• I had already been taking the Q96 supplements and a multivitamin for about 6 months.  The nutrients that came from this supplement helped me have more energy and think more clearly.  Because of it, I had progressively been making better and better decisions.  Consistency was key.
• I cut out all sugars and carbs from my diet.  I started paying attention to the labels on everything.  Did you know they add a ton of sugar to milk?  Did you know there are sugars and carbs in items they sell called, “Protein packs?”  There is sugar in literally most things.  Cutting sugar and carbs out is more difficult that you would think.  I had to cut out all the daily donuts, sodas, Gatorade, Hostess pies and cakes, and so much more.  I went through about 2 weeks of severe withdrawals.  After two weeks, my body and pH adjusted and I felt energized!  I had no more cravings!  During that two week period, I had extremely painful headaches, flu-like symptoms, uncontrollable cravings, and discomfort.  This is normal.  Sugars and carbs are poisonous.  They literally feed illnesses and disease.  Cancer feeds upon them.  Alzheimer’s is now being called Type 3 Diabetes.  This is what I ate for 6 months, every day:

Breakfast:  1 bowl of oatmeal with blueberries and a banana with unsweetened almond milk.

Lunch:  1 chicken club sandwich from Jack in the Box or two chicken tacos from Del Taco.

Dinner:  1 can of chicken, broccoli, and white rice.

I only drank water and sugar-free monsters during this time.Anyone who knows anything about nutrition will look at this and laugh, but these were a huge improvement over what I was consuming daily before I decided to change my eating habits.  Oatmeal, bread, white rice, and tortillas all have carbs and sugars.  Sugar-free doesn’t always mean sugar free (there are many different kinds of dangerous, unhealthy sweeteners the label makers don’t have to legally call sugar).  Monsters, or any energy drink for that matter, I later learned the hard way from a cardiologist I had to see because of extreme heart palpitations, are dangerous and sometimes deadly.  Later, as I learned more about nutrition, I improved upon those improvements.  Consistency was key.

• I began to exercise.  At first it was only a 10 minute walk.  I had to walk within a 100 foot area in from of the house in case I slipped a disc and had to crawl back.  At the time I was in so much pain from a ruptured disc that I was only able to work as a cab driver once or twice a week. I had no way to get there, so I had to ride a bicycle to the bus stop (it was too far to walk to) and take two buses to where the cabs were.  After a 12 hour work day I would drag myself into the door and recover for at least two days before getting back to work.  The beauty of being a cab driver at the time was that they wouldn’t fire me if I couldn’t show up to work as long as I worked at least 1 day a month.

At the time, I was completely disabled and had every reason to make excuses to listen to my doctors and go on disability, but it wasn’t the life I wanted.  I refused to believe, after years of believing it, that I could no longer work and have a “normal” life.  I decided I would no longer play the role of a victim and no matter how difficult it was I was going to push through the pain and create the life I could create, rather than focusing on what the doctors said I couldn’t do.

I began researching ways to strengthen my back.  I learned about planks.  I started doing them.  I could only do it for 10 seconds, so I would  do 3 sets of 10 seconds.  After a month I could hold them for 30 seconds.

I was able to do one pull-up.  After a month I was able to do five.

These were small improvements, but over time I kept seeing improvements!  It built up confidence and an excitement and energy that continued to grow.  Consistency was key.

Within six months people were blown away at the results.  I was blown away at the results.  I was down to 190 lbs.  I wanted to learn more.  I wanted to continue to improve.  My three sons watched this transformation slowly happen and saw eventual differences not just in my body but also in my behaviors and levels of success and wealth in every area of my life.  They began to make similar changes and improvements in their own diets and exercise plans.  People were inspired and wanted these things for themselves.  Those who saw me and knew me before this transformation knew that if I could do it, they could to.  Anyone can!

Anyone can make small, incremental, daily, consistent improvements.  We all know this, but few choose to do it.  What’s the hold-up?  What is the problem?  If it is so easy to do, why do so few people do it?  It is easy not to.

It takes almost a month to create a habit.  Once a habit is created we can pretty much go on auto-pilot.  The things which were once difficult to start and repeat become increasingly easier.

When you see others trying to improve in any way, are you going to be the type of person that tears them down or builds them up?

Today I will help, encourage, and build up those around me.  I know that by doing so I will continue to create deep, meaningful, fulfilling, beautiful connections with others and I will continuously create an environment which fosters trust, love, and kindness.  I create the world I live in.  First internally, then externally.

Years ago, and for most of my adult life, I was lost, without confidence or hope, and feeling like a loser.  What was the secret to changing that?  Consistency.  Up until that point, consistency was a weakness of mine.  The only thing I believed that I was consistent at, was being inconsistent.

I started over again in 2014 with something small and easy to accomplish every day, no matter what.  At first it started as an experiment.  I wanted to see if I could be consistent at something-anything.  For months I had been wanting to change my mindset, so I started reading a quote a day.  Each day I would save the quote.  Each day, for a month, I would re-read each of the quotes, until I was up to reading 30 quotes each day.  To date, I now have over 10,000 quotes in my “favorites” folder on my phone to review during free moments that upgrade my mindset, what I think about, and how I feel.

Each quote I saved was a program that I used to reprogram my entire belief system through repetition.

CONSISTENT REPETITION is actually one of the few ways we can reprogram our subconscious minds as adults, FROM WHICH WE CREATE 95% OF OUR PERSONAL REALITIES!

In doing this, I built confidence that I could be consistent at something.  It started small and easy, then became something massively impactful, automated, and even enjoyable.  It became a habit I still enjoy.  I began to wonder, “What else can I be consistent at?”  I started consistently eating better for a month, and it became an empowering, enduring, habitual lifestyle.  I started exercising again for a full month, consistently, and it became an empowering habit.  I began to gain momentum and I began to feel better.

The more practices I implemented with consistency, the more energy I had to keep at it.  It was as if I had begun to attract and manifest a whole new life!

It was akin to starting a small ball of snow rolling down a mountain side that never ends, and the small ball began to collect more and more snow, and as it became bigger and bigger, it became heavier and rolled down the hill faster, until it became an unstoppable force.  Things began to fall into place in my life.  I learned the power of a consistent, daily routine, and the importance and power of momentum.

I believe that ANYONE can do this and greatly enhance the enjoyment, pleasure, feelings of fulfillment, appreciation and gratitude, physical and mental health, and their relationships.  Anything we want to do or change can start with one, small, easy, consistent, daily task.

Try out this little experiment for yourself for the next 30 days, and build up your confidence level in your ability to do something, anything, consistently.  It may just be worth it!  I know that it has been for me.

CONSISTENCY CREATES A CONVERSION AND A CONVERGENCE OF CIRCUMSTANCES THAT WILL SERVE AND SAVE US.

Today’s challenge for myself:  Today I will decide upon something small and easy I can do at the start of each day for the next 30 days.

Learn more about The goodinthehead Habit-Hacking Challenge:

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

Here is one of the secrets to life:  Trade your expectations for appreciation.

If we are truly unable to accept and appreciate OTHERS, we may need to go to work on learning how to effectively practice accepting and appreciating OURSELVES.

We cannot give away that which we do not have within us.  Best to practice loving, accepting, and appreciating OURSELVES, so when we have the opportunity to give these things to OTHERS, we are GOOD AT IT.

Expectations are a filter through which we judge everything and everyone.  Expectations are premeditated resentments.  Expectations are the mother of all disappointments.

The only person in this world we can really, truly, expect anything from is ourself.  Anytime we have expectations of another, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, and in many cases taking away that person’s right to simply be who they are, in the effort to manipulate them to please us, make us more comfortable, and earn our love and acceptance.  Sometimes, expectations come with manipulation, in the form of guilt and shame.  Sometimes, expectations are simply our way to control others, and force them to be more like us, and more like WE think they should be, rather than allowing their path to naturally and beautifully unfold before them.

Sometimes, when we expect something of someone else, we are unable to articulate to that person exactly what it is we expect.  They may want to please us, but what we are expecting from them may not be something they are interested in accomplishing in the same way that we are, or according to a similar timeline, so their heart isn’t really in it.  The dedication and devotion we want them to exhibit isn’t going to be there.  Resentment begins to set in.  Frustration occurs.  Relationships are harmed.  Passive-aggressive behaviors may begin to take place.  Damage is done.  As a result, trust, appreciation, acceptance, and love is lost.

Sometimes, the most empowering practice we can repeat is to stop expecting things of others, and start expecting more from ourselves.

We can choose to realize, remember, and reconnect with WHAT we truly are, while continuing to work on upgrading the WHO we identify as while in our human bodies.

Jim Rohn teaches:  For the last 6,000 years, not much has changed.  Things have pretty much stayed the same.  The summer still follows winter, and the sun still rises and sets with regularity.  A man may ask, “Well, if things aren’t going to change, how will my life ever change?”  The answer?  When YOU change.

We can expect others to change and we can continue to be disappointed, or we can realize that we are the only ones we can expect change from, and get to work on that.

Appreciation brings out the best in people.  We show appreciation and acceptance of others when we  acknowledge them and what they are accomplishing.  When we show appreciation to someone for a job well done or when we simply say thank you and let someone know we appreciate their hard work and dedication, something magical happens.  In most cases, a person appreciated will work even harder for the simple reward of being appreciated and believing they are enough, as is, simply doing their best and BEING WHO THEY ARE.  When people feel accepted and appreciated, they feel important, validated, and valuable.  When we express acceptance and appreciation, we are revealing to others that we think they are important, and that they are enough simply being themselves.

When we withhold appreciation, love, and acceptance in an attempt to control or manipulate others, it is a destructive practice.

Today’s challenge for myself:  Today I will trade my expectations for appreciation.  I will acknowledge the good others are doing and express to them my appreciation, even if it is a simple, “Good job,” or, “I love you just the way you are.”  I will set an alarm to go off daily to remember to ask myself: WHAT DO YOU APPRECIATE ABOUT YOURSELF TODAY?

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

Rather than doing everything we can to help others, I believe it is FAR more beneficial to arm others with the skills, knowledge, intelligence, wisdom, love, support, and experience for them to help themselves.

We can choose to give others what they WANT, or we can choose to empower them with what they NEED, in order for them to create the most incredible, beautiful, and amazing lives that they possibly can for themselves.

Helping those who are trying and helping themselves by doing all they are capable of perpetuates the momentum and can be truly helpful.

Sometimes when we give money, time, energy, or things to others, we do more harm than good, without really realizing it or meaning to.  It is absolutely important to give to and help others!  I think it is useful to can be WISE in our giving, however.

By giving too much to our children without requiring them to earn it, work for it, or acquire the skills necessary to learn to create it for themselves, we rob them of the importance of the lessons, the struggles, the character, strength, the skills, the intelligence, the experience, and the growth that comes with them.  We enable them and reinforce instant gratification, rather than EMPOWERING them with opportunities of experience and learning.  Acquiring the skill of deferred gratification and not needing things to always be a certain way is useful.

Giving “spare change” to someone on the streets may actually result in reinforcing within them the belief that they don’t have to work for their next high or bottle or meal.  They may start expecting others to take care of them, and when they don’t get what they want, they can become belligerent, resentful, and manipulative; however, we may help and empower them by giving them energy through kindness with JUST what they truly NEED to do what is necessary to survive long enough to turn things around for themselves, FOREVER.  We don’t know their situation or circumstances, but we DO know that kindness begets kindness, and love begets love.  I have found it useful to practice listening to and following my gut instincts, or my intuition, when it comes to giving.

When we give to empower others to HELP THEMSELVES, it reinforces good behaviors, decision making, and enables others to create  better circumstances or a better life for them self.  We can be wise when we give so that it is effective and empowering, but more importantly than being wise about what and when to give, is to pay attention to our gut instincts and our intuition, and act upon them IMMEDIATELY, in kindness and in love.  When we listen to that inner voice we all have, it becomes louder and more frequent.

The act of giving is ALWAYS a gift.

THE ACT OF GIVING CREATES SPACE FOR US TO RECEIVE.  WHAT WE GIVE WE GET BACK, AND MORE.

Today I will think about the ways I give to help others.  I will do one thing today for someone else that I feel will be effectively helpful and useful to them.

Ever heard the term, “Blood is thicker than water”?

Well, I love and prefer the quote, “Blood may make us related, but loyalty makes us family.”

Some people have been blessed with great families and incredible family members that are CONSISTENTLY kind, loving, loyal, helpful, supportive, and strong.  Others have no blood-related relatives at all.

When my son became a Marine, it was explained to us that he gained a whole new family.  They explained at his graduation that we, as his family, also gained those new family members.  Family isn’t always blood.  Sometimes our closest family members aren’t related to us at all.

At his graduation from boot camp, I loved the energy, happiness, elation, and pride that was present in us all.  Thousands of us were connected that day through these things as we were all reunited with children we hadn’t seen or heard from in months.  It was the same feeling when our youngest son graduated from a six month US Army training program after no communication  the entire time.

We are ALL family here on this earth, really.  Go back far enough, and many of us are closely related.  We are all connected in some way.  We are all ONE.

Today I will remember I am a part of a larger family, and I will play the part as best I can of a kind, loving, loyal, helpful, supportive, and strong family member.  I will remember to always strive to be the best family member I can possibly be.

That which we appreciate,

APPRECIATES.

We become what we think about.

That which we focus on tends to manifest itself more prevalently in our lives.

We get back what we give out.

While speaking with my youngest son he introduced a way of thinking I’ve never come across before.  His statement, “It just filters out,” made me think differently about something.  We were talking about how like attracts like.  Positive people attract other positive people.  Negative people attract other negative people.  Things which are not attracted to one another filter out as they are repelled from one another, or more actively involved in the process of being attracted to what IS like what they are.

It has now been proven, scientifically, that EVERYTHING is made up of energy.  In physics, we learn that when we smack a rock, the energy transfer can be measured for up to a few weeks later within the rock!  How interesting.

Dr. Bruce Lipton, who taught cellular biology at Harvard and Stanford Universities, explains how EVERY cell has an antennae on it, which transmits and receives information, allowing ONLY that which it is programmed to allow in, according to our thinking and feeling energies.  ALL things are connected, wirelessly, at a cellular level.

This might explain why someone we haven’t thought of in years reaches out to us within a few minutes of finally thinking about them.

We allow into our lives only that which we are willing to tolerate. Having healthy boundaries is tantamount to our success in this.  We will always get more of what we tolerate.  When we decide we are no longer willing to tolerate or allow certain things or behaviors, we take the appropriate action necessary to stop it.

If a person is angry, an angry energy pulsates out into the world through everyone around him or her.  They can feel nothing but anger.  All they can focus on is their anger and rage, and every reason they have to be angry.  Anger is then attracted back to that person while they are in that state.  Everyone seems to respond to an angry person with anger.  Rage is met with rage.

If a person is focused on pain and suffering, they send out pain and suffering to the world and to those around them.  They can see nothing but pain.  All they can focus on is their suffering.  Hurt people hurt people.  Those who are hurting tend to try to hurt others or control their emotions in a hurtful way.  They have the belief that if they are hurting that everyone else around them ought to be hurting, as well.  The happiness of others upsets them.  That energy is inevitably attracted back to them which can only result in even MORE pain and suffering, proving them correct.

Happy people tend to send out and give off the energies and healing powers of positivity, happiness, kindness, acceptance, empathy, peace, satisfaction, contentment, joy, gratitude, compassion, understanding, and love.  All they can feel is happiness, regardless of what is transpiring all around them.  All they can focus on is happiness, and all of the reasons they have to be grateful and happy.  All they can see is beauty.  Their perspectives become habituated, and it is as if they have a filter installed that only allows them to see things a certain way.  If their positivity and happiness is deep-rooted and intensely focused on, the people who hate them for being happy will sometimes lash out at them.  For happy people, this action isn’t focused on, and they continue to be happy, knowing they cannot control others emotions or reactions, and that the reactions OTHERS have is more about THEM, and THEIR current emotional state.  Like attracts like, and like-minded people will be attracted to the feelings and energies that person is giving off and out to the world.

We all vibrate on a certain level of intense energy.  Some energies are more intense than others.  EVERYTHING is energy, and we MAGNETIZE this energy through FEELINGS.  I believe it is these magnetic frequencies and energies which are attracted to one another, or repelled from one another.

To those who are unhappy or in pain, I get it.  I spent the first 42 years of my life with a negative mindset, and many years in a deep, dark depression.  I hated myself and others, even though I didn’t want to.  I tried really hard not to hate and despise others, but I hated and despised myself so much that I really couldn’t help but hate and despise everyone else around me.  It was the filter through which I looked that only allowed me to see, feel, and project that which I was.  I despised anyone who had, “figured it out,” and seemed happy and alive, when I felt so incredibly dead inside.  I tried to kill myself on more than one occasion, in order to simply end the suffering I was feeling and feeding, but thankfully I failed at that right along with feeling like a failure at everything else in my life.  I spent more time complaining, condemning, criticizing, judging,  and coming up with excuses for why I was the way I was than I ever did expanding my conscious awareness through self development and being encouraging, kind, empathetic, helpful, compassionate, creative, understanding, and grateful.  I stayed closed off to learning anything new.  I compared my best self to the perceived weaknesses I saw in others constantly, rather than simply comparing myself to yesterday’s version of me and consistently working on getting and being better.

It wan’t until I owned the fact that I was who I was because I chose it and I am 100% in control of my thoughts, beliefs, habits, and mindset, that I was able to begin to improve, grow, progress, and evolve from that state of mind and living into what I am blessed to enjoy now.  When I realized that everything in my life was my fault and my responsibility, and I began to own it and take full responsibility for my own life, things really took a turn for the better.  I finally realized that I am in full control of my mind, and so by default, my feelings, personal growth and progression, and my life.  There are things happening all the time we can not control, but we can ALWAYS control how we choose to define and see these things.

WE ARE CREATORS, and we create our personal reality with every thought we think.

OUR THOUGHTS

DETERMINE

OUR OUTCOMES.

Sometimes, the people who are in the habit of criticizing others do so to feel important, better than, adequate, or validated.  Because they are incapable of controlling their own emotions, they try to control emotions and feelings of others, and by so doing, they feel more powerful and more in control.  They criticize others instead of taking a terrifying look inward.  Criticizing and judging others is a quick and easy, self-defeating habit we sometimes use to falsely build up ourselves and feed the ego.  It only shows a lack of self-control and a certain amount of weakness.  I still work on transforming this human weakness into acceptance and love.

Sometimes we feel the energy of others so strongly and deeply that we want to get away from them because they are in such a mood that is so intensely opposite to our own that we feel incredibly uncomfortable.  When my son said, “It just filters out,” I got it.  The feelings, moods, beliefs, opinions, thoughts, actions, and words which we are drawn to are the things we focus on the most, and ALL ELSE, disappears, or filters out.

Depending on our beliefs, if someone speaks about something we don’t agree with, we may leave, seeking out someone who does.  I have found it useful, at times, to seek out opposing opinions that challenge mine, however, and seek to learn all I can from everyone.  Bias confirmation can be dangerous.

Depending on our mindset, if we feel inadequate around someone because we view than as “better than us” in some way, we tend not to spend time with that person.  I have, however, found it to be useful to question why I feel uncomfortable, and seek for opportunities of personal growth and expansion where I see it as necessary for me.

If we feel weak or “less than” around people that make and spend more money than us, we usually don’t hang out with them very often; however, it is well known that we become like those we spend the most time around, so if more money is a goal, seeking the discomfort that comes from feeling inadequate around those with an abundant mindset and a prosperous perspective in an effort to change and upgrade our own financial reality  is required.

The things we are choosing to focusing on are the things we are attracting into our lives.  If we are WIDE OPEN and intentionally in LEARNING MODE, when someone speaks about something we don’t understand or agree with, we listen to understand why they think what they do, rather than looking for people that think exactly as we do I order to validate and confirm our biases.  THIS RESULTS IN GROWTH AND CONNECTION.  When we see someone as “better than us” we seek to learn how they acquired the skills to attain that level so we can duplicate the process.  Rather than feeling inadequate, we feel CURIOUS.  When we see people prospering and wealthy, we spend time around them learning how to do the same.  Opening our hearts, minds, and souls to new possibilities, and habitually becoming comfortable with that which temporarily uncomfortable and different but IS GOOD, is a SURE way to expand and create more optimally.

Somewhere in our mind or soul or life energy, or whatever else you want to call it, I think there must be a filter that has been put into place to attract like energies, but also to make us unattractive to opposing energies.

The brain has such a device!  It is called, THE RETICULAR ACTIVATING SYSTEM, or RAS.

What will you spend the majority of your time focusing on today?  Will you create with your focus, or will you destroy, by NOT thinking about it and focusing on it, and allowing it to dissipate and filter out?  What will you FEED with your focus?  What will you activate with your attention?  What will you elevate with your energy?  What mindset do you want?  What kind of life do you want?

It is incredibly helpful to remember to be highly intentional about our mindset, first thing in the morning.  It is why I believe in the importance of a solid morning routine.

I tend to think of and focus on the same things to start my day because of how it helps me reprogram my own mind the way I want it to be programmed, and because of the science behind repetition.  Neurons that fire together wire together until they become unbreakable bonds of strong, thick, powerful cords of intertwined, interconnected neurons.

Dr. Joe Dispenza teaches that the neurons which are no longer being actively used in thought processes that once were, are recruited to the new thoughts we ARE thinking, and the new things we are focusing on.  Eventually the OLD thought patterns, beliefs, habits, and ways of being die off, as all the neurons that used to keep these things alive have now been recruited to support the NEW thought patterns, beliefs, habits, and ways of being.  What valuable information!

Today I will remember how I think, what I think about, and what I say and do will attract the same, and most likely be unattractive to the opposite.  I will remember that I am in charge of my destiny, which manifests itself in accordance to my thoughts and what I choose to repeatedly focus on.  I will be intentional with my thoughts and focus, and continuously redirect them to what I WANT.

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Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.