Author: Pete Jones

I believe that each and every connection we make with anyone, holds within it the opportunity of a lesson, or to be reminded of something previously learned and forgotten and the opportunity to practice what we have already learned. 

Everyone has something they can teach us, or they can remind us of something we have already learned and have forgotten about.

That being said, it is important who we choose to connect with and spend time around.  While there may be value added from EVERYONE in our lives, certain people have the ability to add more value than others. The environment we create has a lot to do with the people we choose and attract.  It is important we protect our energy.

Would it make sense to walk up to someone who chooses to be lazy, unhealthy, and unhappy and ask them for advice on how to take action in our own life towards accomplishing goals which will benefit our health, finances, and our relationships?

It has been said that if we look at the 5 people we spend most of our time around we will see our future.

We can ask ourselves:  Are the connections I work so hard on maintaining and enjoying beneficial or are they harmful?  Do I want to eventually become exactly like the 5 people I spend most of my time with?  Who is it I eventually would like to become more like, and what am I willing to do each and every day to make it happen?

Today’s challenge for myself:  Today I will take a look at the people I spend the most of my time around and ask myself why I spend so much time around them.  What do they benefit and have to gain by spending the majority of their time with me?  What do I benefit and have to gain by spending the majority of my time around these particular people?  Is there one or two other people I could spend a little more time with that would help me expand, grow, change, improve, or evolve in a way I want?

Some of the best advice I have come across on how to live life to the fullest is contained in Jim Rohn’s book, 7 STRATEGIES FOR WEALTH AND HAPPINESS.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

NEGLECT is when we don’t do what we can do and what we know we should do.  We all fall into patterns and habits of neglect, and that is how we learn the importance of not neglecting certain things in our lives.  There is beneficial purpose in all things, including the lessons that come from experiencing the contrasting results from neglect.

OUR ACTIONS EXPRESS OUR PRIORITIES.

One neglect leads to another neglect, which leads to another.  When neglect becomes a habit in one area of our lives, it spills over into the other areas of our lives as well.  Habitual neglect can become a personality trait.  Habitual neglect becomes a part of our character if we let it.  The magic in knowing this is: The opposite is also true.

When we replace an unhealthy addiction with a healthy addiction, we will be able to feed something that we DO want to flourish.  Replacing the habit of neglect with the habit of discipline is the key to personal progress and success.

When we neglect our health, our health declines.  It isn’t rocket science.  That is just the way it is.  Through neglect, a consistent lack of nutrition, not knowing any better, lacking the knowledge and know-how, lack of desire, laziness, etc. we become physically unfit.  I’ve fallen into this habit of neglect in my own health practices, and I’ve paid the price for it.  I’ve found, in my own experience, that habitually neglecting my health led to neglect in other important areas of my life as well.

Momentum  doesn’t discriminate-it expands exponentially in the direction WE choose.

It is the same with our mindset, our emotional health, our spirituality, our friendships, our love life and closer relationships, etc.  If we don’t use it we lose it.  All of these things take daily, consistent, repetitious practice, attention, and cultivation, in order for us to maintain our effectiveness, or even to simply maintain what we have.

Best to be clear on exactly what we want for ourselves to know what we no longer want to be neglectful with.  Once we are clear on exactly what we want for ourselves and take care of those needs and put all of our attention and focus into those things, we become more fulfilled and purpose-driven.  We are energized.  We begin to live again, as all that we are no longer focused on dies off and disappears out of our lives completely.

ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES.

A great example of this comes from my youngest son.  Frustrated, distraught, and overwhelmed by the time he had to spend on his school work, life was really getting him down.  He decided to change his focus.  He decided that he would wake up a little earlier and do something for himself to start his days.  He began working out, first thing in the morning, and fell in love with it.  Once he decided to meet his needs first, before meeting the needs of others, a different sense of purpose filled his life.  He was energized, waking up hours earlier each day, and accomplishing much more.  Life began to have meaning again.

I have been practicing doing the same thing in my own life since 2014.  Replacing neglect with discipline in just ONE area of my life, spilled over into EVERY area of my life.  This has changed EVERYTHING for me, energizing me, and empowering me to live a purpose-filled, meaningful, fulfilling life.  I now wake up earlier than I HAVE to, begin an incredible and well-designed morning routine, quickly building momentum, and truly enjoying each day, having started it by doing things for myself, first, lighting me up for others the entire rest of the day.  By doing so consistently, I am a better father, a better husband, a better employee, a better man, and a better creator.

IT’S NOT  THAT YOU ARE TIRED OR EXHAUSTED.  IT IS THAT YOU DO TOO LITTLE OF THAT WHICH LIGHTS YOU UP!

Today’s challenge for myself:  Today I will be mindful about, and ponder upon, what I may be neglecting in my own life.  I will focus on what will benefit me and energize me the most.  I will take care of myself first thing every day, in some way, before focusing on the needs of others, remembering that when I fill my own cup up, the overflow will benefit others.  While I am doing this for myself and for my own benefit, I will remember that by doing so, everyone around me will also benefit.  

Here is a great video by one of my favorite mentors and teachers, Jim Rohn, on the subject of neglect:

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

Words don’t teach.  Experiences do.  We learn best by taking action, and either failing or succeeding, then repeating, again and again.  We learn best by doing our best.

Only results matter, and without action there will never be results.  Through practice, repetition, consistency, and action, anyone can get better at anything.  Most of us don’t try new things because it makes us feel weak or stupid.  New things and changes can be difficult.  They can chip away at our pride, confidence, and ego, if our beliefs allow it.  However, when we look at new things and experiences as an opportunities to learn and grow, expecting it to be difficult until it eventually becomes easier, and if we only compare ourselves to ourselves, and not others around us, the growth and progress is enjoyable and empowering, instead of painful and frustrating.

The greatest of accomplishments and successes come from the smallest of beginnings.  We have to start somewhere.  Best to start small, rather than not starting at all.

“One of the most powerful forms of motivation is success.”

-James Clear. 

Without action there is no success.

“Progress equals happiness.”

-Tony Robbins. 

Without action, there is no real progress.

Success is an incredible motivator.  It builds confidence, and re-affirms with constant feedback, information, and immediate data that the actions we are taking prove that we are on the right course.  We know, through successes and lots of small wins, that we are on the right path.  We figure out what works for us, and we can then repeat it and share the recipe with others, letting them know we found something that works for us, and letting them know that it might just work for them as well.

Failure is also a wonderful motivator.  If we let it, it also builds confidence.  We can be confident in the fact that we are trying something, strong enough to look stupid and remembering we are NOT, rather than doing nothing at all.  We learn from failure.  We learn what not to do next time.  We gain wisdom from the constant feedback loop of failure.  Failure is information.  Many times, failures will motivate us with frustration or anger, igniting determination and persistence within, empowering us to try harder, do better, and figure out an alternative route that just might work on the next try.

If we are stuck on which action to take in a decision, best to pick one and take immediate action.  We will find out soon enough if it was the right action to take or not.  We mustn’t be afraid of making mistakes.  Mistakes are learning opportunities.

Both success and failure require action.  Carol Dweck said it best:  “If you are not currently struggling with something, you are not growing.  You are not really living.”  If we aren’t taking action and making mistakes, failing, learning, and trying again and again until we succeed, we aren’t trying hard enough.  Growth, progress, improvement, and evolution were not meant to be easy.  They come through doing the hard things.  The more difficult the task, the more the possibility of potential for growth and learning.

The results and outcomes of our life today are the residual effects of the actions we used to take and the thoughts and feelings we attached to ALL of them.  They are inextricably connected.  If we want different results and outcomes a year from now, we MUST begin to practice different habits and take different actions.

Today I will do the thing I am scared of doing.  I will keep doing it until I learn, get better, conquer my fears, and succeed.  I will remember that Action Alleviates Anxiety.  

Fast forward to the One hour, one minute, and 50 second point of this discussion, and see Tom Bilyeu’s opinion on TAKING ACTION and DECISIVENESS:

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

_{“HUMANS ARE THE ULTIMATE ADAPTATION MACHINE.”}

_{-Tom Bilyeu}

Jim Rohn always taught that one way to learn to do things right is by doing them wrong.  The key was, he said, not to do them wrong for too long!

Each day we wake up, the reset button has been pushed.  Each day is a new opportunity to create, live, and enjoy the life we want.  Adaptation plays a huge role in this.  We MUST learn to adapt, change, improve, progress, pivot, recalibrate, expand, and evolve, in order to optimize everything we can about ourselves in order to FULLY enjoy this life experience a to become progressively more capable of contribution.

If there is anything in our life or in our day that is making us upset, frustrated, anxious, unhappy, or angry, it is entirely up to us, AND WITHIN OUR POWER, to change it, view it differently, feel it all and grow through it, or alter our perceptions about it.  If we don’t like where we live, we can move.  We are not trees!  If we are incredibly unhappy with our job or the people we work with, we can work towards solving the issues, or get another job.

We always have options.  ALWAYS.

We can learn to choose adaptation or acceptance.  We can become relentlessly, beautifully, unapologetically, respectfully, and confidently, DEFIANT.  Fight for what you want and for who you want to become.  Fuel your inner fire with a daily, consistent routine, which will carry you with strength, honor, integrity, authenticity, and dignity throughout the rest of the day.  When we do this enough times it becomes our life.  That which we practice and repeat, we become better and better at, no matter what it is.

We are in life where we are now of our own choice and volition.  We either enjoy where we are, or we have regrets and suffer from the residual effects of our repeated decisions, each and every day.

The results and outcomes of our life today are the residual effects of the actions we used to take.  They are inextricably connected.  If we want different results and outcomes a year from now, we MUST begin to practice different habits and take different actions.

What do you want your life to be like in a year?  What would you have to do daily and consistently for the next year to make it so?  It is entirely up to you to make it happen.  Get started and adapt!

At first, it is difficult to do new things, but the more we practice new things and repeat them, the better and better we will get at it.  When we decide exactly what we want to be most fulfilled and happy, and make it a necessity, we will relentlessly pursue whatever it is.  We will never give up on that thing.  We will do whatever we have to in order to create or manifest it, NO MATTER WHAT.

Today’s challenge for myself: 

Today I will decide what I need, to adapt in the ways that will ensure I create, live, and enjoy, the life I want and deserve.  I will remember that the more I consistently do for me, the more it will empower me to consistently do for others.

Where are you on The Ladder of Accountability today?

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

When we work hard, and practice daily until we master one area of our lives, the discipline, habits, focus, hard work, and successes we experience and practice, builds our confidence and grows our soul.  Getting better at that one area of our lives makes us more.  It makes us more confident, more competent, and more capable.  The process builds us up and energizes us.   Consistently doing what lights us up empowers us and makes us consistently FEEL GOOD, which is the key to attracting and manifesting our greatest desires.  The key is to master, or strive to master, that one area of our life, on a consistent, daily basis. When we do, all of the discipline, habits, focus, hard work, habits, and success, spills over into all other areas of our lives.

We can start out slowly.  Baby steps are okay.  The Navy Seals say that slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.  As we slowly gain momentum and the difficulty naturally and easily becomes progressively LESS difficult through consistent repetition and practice, the process becomes AUTOMATED, and we have more energy for other things.  Momentum is gained.

Slow and steady like a turtle can win the race between a tortoise and a hare, and the hare which is focused, determined, and has a good work ethic, and chooses not to rest until the race is won, will win even more quickly.  The choice is OURS.  The important thing is to always do our best, do whatever empowers us to FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME, find what works best for us, and stick to that.  We are 100% responsible for the daily, consistent recreation of The Self.

If you’re going to be addicted to anything, Personal Development is a great thing to be addicted to.

Daily, consistent growth is the key.  GOOD TODAY, BETTER TOMORROW.  We can make personal growth, change, and improvements easy.  Just working on one little thing will help us later to work on the other things with more discipline and skill, and with less effort and struggle.  Of course, by then, we will realize the value of our efforts and struggles, and will most likely choose to work at that level, anyway, accomplishing more and more as we go along.

It is through the compound effect that ANYTHING is possible.  This is explained magnificently by Darren Harday, in his book, THE COMPOUND EFFECT.

I believe that the most important area of life, the one area we should all work hardest at mastering, is alignment through our beliefs.  Once we have our mind right, it gets easier and easier to work on, and master, ALL of the other areas of our lives.  Once we have worked on our philosophies, beliefs, perceptions, and our mindsets, and have learned to master this one area of our lives, everything seems to magically fall into place.  We learn how to think, how important our thoughts are, and what to consistently focus on, in order to become what we actually want to become more and more of.  We become more empowered, stronger, more confident, more competent, and more capable.  We develop a mental toughness and a resilience that will be necessary, in order to be what we deserve to be.  It is true that we must EARN what we want.  We must deserve it to obtain it and KEEP it, no matter what IT is.

With mindset, the best place to start is gratitude.  Seeking out, finding, acknowledging, and CONSTANTLY SEEING the beauty in all things, literally re-wires the brain and constantly injects neuro-chemicals and hormones in accordance with the beauty we observe.  We can do the same thing with our eyes closed, through visualization.  The neurons which fire together, wire together and strengthen.  The more we focus on gratitude and practice it, the stronger these bundles of neurons become, and the easier it is to see the good in even the “bad” situations or circumstances.  Gratitude alleviates stress, and injects “feel good” chemicals into our blood stream, healing us on a cellular level.  Making a time each day, as part of a routine or ritual, has absolutely been key in improving my own mindset, mental, emotional, and physical health, and my life.  It can do the same for anyone willing to give it a try, and keep practicing, until the consistency has become an easy-to-accomplish habit.

It has now been shown through numerous studies that our actual DNA is restructured in beneficial ways when we consistently think or talk positively.

All things that we no longer choose to think about and focus on simply fall away, as those neural patterns starve from neglect, and the neurons are recruited by the bundles that are repeatedly being used.

Today’s challenge for myself:  Today I will decide what small, easy task I can do daily and consistently to master my own mindset, and I will make sure that what I decide to do to help and empower myself is a part of my daily routine.  I will work hard towards mastery in this one area of my life, remembering that what I am becoming more of as I do this work will help me more easily master all other areas of my life.  I will use GRATITUDE as a part of my daily rituals and purposefully rewrite my brain to see things differently.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

When we choose to create an internal environment which our external environment will eventually catch up to and match, maintaining a high level of integrity by habitually and consistently choosing to remain honest, authentic, and true to ourselves, and when we choose to accept and love all others with real empathy, we empower ourselves.   We begin creating, transmitting, and projecting a more beautiful reality that EVERYONE enjoys.

It is through such actions we manifest and project into the world the best version of ourselves.  When we are focused enough to choose to do this every possible minute of every day, we manifest and create a higher level of vibrational energy within ourselves, and operate on a higher frequency.  It is through consistency in doing this that the outer, physical world begins to, and is naturally required to, change to match that internal vibration.  The vibrational energy levels at which we operate magnetize, are transmitted out into the universe, and attract all that is similarly magnetized back to us.  Through purposeful, intentional, consistent, intense focus, we constantly recreate and render our personal, physical realities.

I came across a recording which contained information on HOW TO FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME.  It was basically a daily checklist given to a group of wealthy people by Kevin Trudeau during a three day presentation that was recorded.  It is worth listening to and researching.  The recording was released to the public and is called, YOUR WISH IS YOUR COMMAND.

What we focus upon and think about consistently, consistently grows, expands, and improves, and our physical, human lives improve as we do.  When we choose to be courageous enough to do this consistently, the world progressively becomes more beautiful, joyful, accepting, and completely full of light and love, because deep down, that is what we all are.

We are beauty.  We are joy.  We are acceptance.  We are love.  We are one.

When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.

Having a daily routine we intentionally, personally hand-craft and design, is an incredibly helpful, useful, effective, and powerfully empowering tool.  The book, THE COMPOUND EFFECT, by Darren Hardy, explains beautifully the many ways that the small, consistent things we do will add up over time, until they begin to behave as compounding interest, and grow exponentially.  When we place something within that routine which is a reminder of what we, personally, need to focus and re-focus on all day long, we reprogram our own identity within the subconscious mind.  We can choose to periodically ask helpful re-focusing questions like, “What would I be doing right now if I really, truly loved myself?” or, “Is what I am thinking about, talking about, or doing, this second, going to help me accomplish what I want to accomplish today, and in three years from now?” One of my favorite questions I ask each morning is, “WHAT DO I WANT MORE OF, RIGHT NOW?”  I take a moment each morning to answer this question in my mind and refocus upon ONLY thoughts that will result in those answers.

We can experiment with everything, experience all that is possible, and find the things that work for us, then keep doing the things that move the needle and gain momentum in the right direction FOR US.  This naturally and easily results in leaving all that doesn’t work for us behind, as our focus is elsewhere and no longer feeds or energizes that which doesn’t work for us.

Clarity comes from questions.  What exactly do we really want?  When we are intentional about what we want out of life, and review it at the beginning of each day, our focus becomes more intense.  Practicing this on a regular, consistent, daily basis, we get better and better at it.  Confidence comes from consistency, repetition, and practice.  Progress equals happiness.  Therefore, happiness can come from continued practices, consistency, and repetition, and from getting better at anything.  WE GET TO CHOOSE WHAT THAT IS!

We were born with the innate, natural ability to practice being creators.  Each day we wake up, the reset button is pushed, and we are blessed with another opportunity to create and manifest!  What we create each moment of every day is entirely up to us.  The mood we create, the internal environment we choose to create and practice maintaining, the outer reality and life we create as a bi-product of the internal state we practice, and anything else we can think of or dream up-all of it is up to us.  In this way, we are in control of our own destiny.  Sure, there may be things we encounter throughout our day that we cannot control, and they may even distract us,  but why become fixated on those things when there are so many other things we can control in order to make our own world, and the worlds of those we love, more and more enjoyable, safe, prosperous, abundant, and beautiful?

The book, ASK AND IT IS GIVEN, by Esther and Jerry Hicks, contains all the information necessary to get started creating, attracting, manifesting, and projecting the life of our dreams  I HIGHLY recommend getting this book and/or listening to the audio version!

THAT WHICH WE CONSISTENTY FOCUS ON, GROWS AND EXPANDS, AND TENDS TO MANIFEST ITSELF MORE PREVALENTLY IN OUR LIVES.

Focus is everything.  There are so many possible distractions that will take our focus away from our creations, if we choose to let them.

We are in charge of our mindset, beliefs, habits, character, and personality.  We design and practice ALL of these things.  Instead of focusing on and concentrating on things we have no power or control over (other people, especially), I think it is important for each of us to remember to focus on and concentrate on things we do have power and control over, like our thoughts, our mood, our state, our health, our lives, and our futures.

Some of the most helpful advice I’ve ever encountered:  DON’T COMPLAIN.  CONTRIBUTE.

Today I will be courageous.  I will strive, throughout the entire day, to focus on that which I CAN do, instead of that which I cannot.  I will choose to only focus on what I DO want and what I DO love, appreciate, and enjoy.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

I grew up with a lot of misperceptions and beliefs that were more damaging than useful.  I thought I was being raised to believe  that I was never supposed to question anything, and that I was to believe absolutely everything I was told.  It became an enduring habit.  I became a people-pleaser, and it stunted my personal growth.  I was very black and white.  Extremism was common in my mind and in my life.  It was very limiting and caused me not to grow, to continuously judge and criticize myself and others, and to constantly compare my strengths to the perceived weaknesses of others in order to feed my starving ego. Anytime I tried to step out of this box I was shamed and guilted into submission, (ironically by myself and my own beliefs and perceptions of what I thought others wanted from me,) until it became a habitual way of thinking, speaking, and living.  It worked well for me until I moved away from home and into the real world.  At that point, it was no longer useful, and eventually, I needed to learn new beliefs and new ways of operating in the world.

I LEARNED IT IS HEPFUL TO LEARN TO BE RESPECTFULLY DEFIANT! 

It is helpful NOT to believe everything we are told, and NOT to believe everything we THINK.

It is incredibly beneficial for us to learn to practice questioning everything.  We will wonder in awe at the growth this brings, and the things learned and experienced because of it.

It is a useful practice to continuously expose ourselves to new experiences.  When we go on adventures and consistently choose to have the greatest experiences available to us, growth and expansion are the natural result.

“KEEP WHAT WORKS FOR YOU AND DISCARD THE REST.”

-Brendon Bruchard

We can choose, AT ANY TIME, to no longer remain in personal, chosen ignorance.  Ignorance is not bliss.  Ignorance is pain.  Instead, we can choose to learn all we can about everything!  We can practice taking it all in and experiencing all of it.  Experimentation is an excellent teacher.  This is one way we live life to the fullest.

I have found it useful to experiment with EVERYTHING, and to choose to keep what works for me.

We can choose to create a beautiful life of color and joy, or continue to live in a black and white world, with a grey, abysmal, limited existence.

Sometimes, within our perceived weaknesses, we discover our greatest strengths.  I used to get so frustrated with my middle son, Drake.  He would question everything.  He was incredibly persistent and asked, what I thought, were far too many questions.  I used to become agitated and tried to manipulate and control him into silence with my anger, frustration, and obvious dissatisfaction.  I’m so grateful he never allowed me to squash his defiant spirit.  It has become an incredible and beneficial strength for him, and has taught me to think differently about being respectfully defiant.  He inspires me.

We can learn to be empathetic, accepting, forgiving, and generous.  We can become better and better at choosing kindness and love over bitterness and hatred.  We can learn to make friends with everyone possible, remembering that everyone has something to teach us.

Today’s challenge to myself:  Today I will love, appreciate, and accept myself.  I will remember I am perfect the way I am, right now.  I will remember that I am a work in progress, and that I always will be, and as I continue to learn how to and practice just being, I will be more fully accessing the greatness within.  I will not judge myself so harshly, and I will quiet the unkind voice in my mind during the process, remembering not to believe everything I think.  Today I will choose to be respectfully, beautifully, and unapologetically defiant.  I will live a life of color, choosing to no longer be so black and white.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

• • What were the most important things you learned during your childhood and earlier years that helped you later in life?
  • I only have a vague recollection of my childhood but I do believe that the solid foundation that my parents offered growing up was a huge help to me in my life as I got older. I always had my family behind me, loving me and genuinely caring about me. I believe this allowed me to spread my wings safely, to know that even if I didn’t succeed in something that I always had this amazing family. It was my source of strength and security and it still is today.
  • What were some challenges or disabilities you experienced and what did you gain or benefit from living with and through these?
  • I married at a young age, mainly due to a surprise pregnancy. Despite my parent’s assurance that it was not necessary and probably a bad idea, I felt that it was the right thing to do. I ended up in a verbally abusive relationship that was an emotional turmoil I was not prepared to deal with. I had never experienced anything like this and I was completely unprepared to stand up for myself. My “perfect” family life had left me ill-equipped to handle adversity. I worked hard to maintain my marriage because divorce was not an option in my mind. I learned how to persevere, how to find things in my life to make it bearable, how to seek happiness in other things besides my marriage. I ended up divorced after 6 years.
  • I was a single mom of three children for the following 13 years, which brought its own challenges, daily. I truly don’t know how I got through those 13 years or how my kids survived a single mom household. Somehow, they ended up extremely well behaved and they stayed out of trouble. (I thank God for that daily, I know He had his hands on them.) I learned a lot about putting one foot in front of the other, even when things seemed impossible to overcome. I learned how to stay in tune with each of my children so that when things were “off” I was able to take a step back and find the time to reconnect with them. I would choose them over anything else, even my work in those times. I would find peace within myself and pass that on to them whenever I felt things slipping away from what felt “right”. I learned how to talk to my kids, communicate with them and treat them like human beings rather than children who couldn’t understand. I learned how to apologize for wrong decisions and how to make things right when I was able.
  • What were your biggest failures/mistakes in life, and what did you learn from them?
  • I became addicted to pain pills when I was in my 30’s and had to go to a re-hab to get off of them. I often times wonder how that happened, how I would allow myself to become addicted, but I don’t have an answer. I didn’t understand what addiction was and before I knew it, I was an addict. I remember being very in-tune with God in the months leading up to the first time I started taking the pain pills to help me sleep. I slowly began losing touch with God and stopped reading the Bible as I slipped more into my addiction. I learned a lot through this… I learned how to persevere, how to give my life to God, how to grasp onto the things I knew would bring me peace, to literally pray every minute of every day so that I could make it through a day without struggling with guilt and shame.
  • As a single mom for 13 years I failed at maintaining a healthy relationship with my ex-husband. I didn’t try to find good things about him and I chose poorly in speaking negatively about him in front of my children. I often times would even tell them directly how awful their father was. I regret that very much now that I look back on those times. I would most definitely do that differently if I could. My kids did not need to hear that about their own father, I should have honored their relationship with him but I completely disrespected it.
  • Where is your favorite place you have ever been and why?
  • I would say my favorite place is being at home. I am definitely a home-body and as much as I appreciate different cultures and places, my favorite place will always be my home. It’s a safe place where I can be myself, nurture my children and make the greatest impact on their lives in simple ways that are meaningful.
  • What is your educational background?
  • I went to a Catholic elementary school (we were not Catholic), high school in South America at and international school and college at ASU where I graduated with a degree in education/communication.
  • What jobs/employment have you had? Which was the most fulfilling and why?
  • I was a kindergarten teacher at an elementary school for a year and then became a fire fighter. Previous to that I worked as a server at a small pizza place. Being a firefighter has been the most fulfilling because I can make a choice each shift, each call, to make a positive difference in someone’s life. I have the easiest access to that possibility with my job because we are called when someone is having their worst day. Some shifts are more fulfilling that others, but overall it is an amazing job.
  • If being a parent was considered a “job” then I would hands down say that it is the most fulfilling one!
  • When you feel frustrated, angry, or out of control, what do you do to quickly and effectively return to your baseline emotion? (How do you, “Self-soothe”?)
  • I remember what is most important and “check” myself. I remind myself that the other person involved is dealing with their own share of problems and I can either add to that or I can be an example of a good Christian. I pray that I can allow for other people’s faults and forgive.
  • What is a long-lasting, sustainable contribution you would like to make that lasts long after you are gone, and whom do you want it to affect?
  • I would really like to pass on the beauty and importance of a relationship with God because it has made my life so much more meaningful and full of peace. No matter what happens, I know that God will see me through. I would like to be able to do that no matter where my life leads and in every circumstance. I feel a real need for that with young girls (teenage) and hope to eventually get involved in a Christian teen program (i.e.YoungLife) to really pass that attitude and message on.
  • What are the principles and core beliefs you base your decisions and your life upon? Are there any principles or core beliefs that you altered/improved over the years, as you grew, progressed, and improved? (Old beliefs that didn’t serve you/were harmful vs. New beliefs which benefited you and those around you a great deal.)
  • My core beliefs are based on my relationship with God and his promises. I refer to the Bible when I have a serious decision to make and I pray like crazy about everything in my life. I have found that when I don’t do that, when I try to go about life without talking to God, I make mistakes that hurt me and my family. I don’t have inner peace when I don’t stay focused on the Lord. I have tested this many time in the past and every time I wander away from God I suffer a loss of purpose and happiness.
  • When I was young, I didn’t understand that I always had God with me. That He truly loved me and cared about me even more than a father (parent). I pretty much lived my life and called on God when I was in trouble but often times, I didn’t even do that because I was ashamed… When I made a poor choice, I allowed it to spiral out of control because I would refuse to bring it to God for help. Eventually, as an adult and after falling into addiction, I found the relationship with God that I had been ignoring. I was forced to bring my shame to Him and that began the relationship with Him that has been growing ever since. 

  So, when I was younger, the mistake I made was ignoring God. When I look back on that, I realize that those gut feelings and that awful feeling of shame were all signals that I ignored. Signals to stop and turn to God. To find healing in Him even through that shame of what I had done or said, etc. Today, those feelings are so clear to me. I can stop immediately, redirect my choices, and move forward knowing that God is with me. I slow down, I pray, I wrestle with those feelings until I can resolve them with God’s help. I go for a long run, listen to Christian music, read the Bible, anything I can do to resolve those gut feelings. We all struggle with “hearing” God in our lives, but when my heart is troubled, I know it is God talking to me. I didn’t know that when I was young. When my heart was troubled, I tried to make things right on my own and it was always a spiral down. If only I could know then what I know now!

  • What are your favorite 3 quotes and why?
  • This too shall pass – my grandmother said this often and it has gotten me through many hard times. It is true that in time all things will pass, we just have to persevere.
  • Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, cost you more than you want to pay – this is always true of sin and it’s a good reminder to make good choices.
  • Make allowances for other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you – this always reminds me to let go of things that have offended me or things that are holding me down. To forgive.
  • Do you have a book list of your favorite, most helpful books? What are the books on your list and what were the most important points from each one?
  • The Bible – helps me to know God and build a relationship with Him and also a reference for all decisions I have to make in my life.
  • 7 habits of highly effective families – an amazing guide for building a family that is strong, caring and centered on God.
  • Prayer (Yancey) – an amazing book about the power and purpose of prayer. Has taught me to pray constantly because it works!
  • I also love to read other fiction books but none have drastically changed my life
  • Who were the most important influential people in your life so far? Who do you consider your mentors?  (This can be someone in your life or someone you have never met.)
  • Jesus – I have come to realize that the more I try to be like Christ, the better my life becomes. The reasons are endless.
  • My mom has shown me how to be strong and tough but also caring and loving. She showed me how to be a good mom and how to work hard. She showed me how to persevere through the hardest times and how to take control of my life.
  • My sister has shown me how to love myself and to find self confidence that I so often lacked. I think about what she would do in many situations and use it to stand up for myself when I am having a hard time doing that. She is one of the most confident people I know and one of the most generous. She is graceful in everything she does and everything she has been through. I try to be like her in many ways.
  • Who or what has been the biggest, most helpful contributors to your life?
  • Exercise has probably been one of the most helpful things in my life. It gives me time to escape whatever is happening in my life and long runs give me time to sort out anything on my mind. In an hour I can think more clearly about life and the issues that I am facing. When everything else in my day is stressful, exercise keeps me grounded and happy. I can push myself as hard as I want to when it is just me.
  • Music. I believe that music is a powerful thing. It can literally change my outlook, alter my mood, take me back to past experiences. It is truly amazing. I don’t know what I would do without it. Definitely a gift from God!
  • My friendship with Maegan. She taught me so much about knowing God and living life for Him. She showed me how to be brave and confident in my walk with Christ and all of those things she showed me I still use today. She has allowed me to be her friend and she has always cherished our friendship in the same way I do.
  • Is there anything I have not asked you that you would like to share that you believe could benefit others?
  • It is difficult not to push people away from the idea of relationship with God because it is very personal and somewhat abstract for so many people. Whether they had a bad experience at church or with a church goer – most people are scared away by talk of religious things… But the bottom line is that we are all just trying to make the best of our lives and searching for meaning and purpose. Find the things that bring you peace and harness those things in your life, don’t let them slip away. Practice them often and let them make you stronger in your walk on this planet. People will want to know the joy and peace you radiate and you will get the chance to share your journey with them.
  • What do you believe is the purpose of yourlife?
  • I feel like I am still trying to figure this out. I pray every day that I will serve God in my words and in my actions and that I will hear God’s voice above the other noises of this world. Overall, I Believe my purpose is to bring light into the darkness wherever I am and wherever God leads me in this life.
  • What is your main wish/desire for the loved ones in your life?
  • If I could pass anything on to my loved ones it would be building an ongoing, never ending relationship with God. That they would trust in Him and find strength in knowing that they are deeply loved by their creator. With that, they can get through anything.
  • Are there any questions in this interview you would re-word or are there any questions you would add to this interview to make it more helpful and effective?
  • None, but thank you for the opportunity to think about my life, my past and my future. It was a little tough at some points but really good for my soul. Thank you!
  • Is there anyone you can send this interview to that you know would add value to your life or the lives of others with their answers? Will you share this interview with them?
  • I will share this with my father and my good friend. They both have found the kind of peace and joy I want to know more of.

TO READ OTHER INTERVIEWS, CLICK HERE.

A disease has spread quickly throughout the world in the last 100 years.  It has infected everyone to different degrees, depending on everyone’s varying thresholds of tolerance, strength, immunity, teachings, philosophies, and beliefs.  It is a dark, destructive, devastating, disease of the mind.  It is the unintentional and unnoticed conformity, a herd mentality, and propensity towards a life devoid of intentional outcomes and creativity.    It is caused by neglect, a lack of consistent routine, and the absence of goals and dreams, remembered, focused upon, and worked on daily.

The darkness grows, and comes from distractions of all kinds which bombard our minds and takes the focus away from the truly important things in our lives.  The darkness infecting our minds, distracts us, and takes away the desire to face the difficult things which grow into monsters when they are not faced down.  This darkness cripples us by enabling us to justify a life of unrealized dreams filled with excuses, a lack of progression and growth, and the feeling that personal mediocrity, weakness, and conformity is okay for us, when really, we know better.

There is something better for each of us, simply waiting for us to turn our attention to it, and feed it, giving it power, time, attention, focus, and energy.  We can quickly and easily be living an even more meaningful, desirable, enjoyable, purpose-filled life.  We can stop just making it through each day with our fingers crossed, hoping things will get better, and take back control of our minds and our lives.

THAT WHICH WE EMPOWER

BECOMES MORE POWERFUL.

How can we awake from this dark slumber and exchange simply existing in this state, for the beautiful, unique, happy life, that each of us deserves?

How can we create a more mindful, internal state of mind so we will always remember that happiness doesn’t come from outside sources, but from within?

WHAT WE CHOOSE TO FOCUS ON CONSISTENTLY

GROWS, AND TENDS TO MANIFEST ITSELF MORE AND MORE.

Consistency creates confidence.  Consistency creates a conversion and a convergence of circumstances, which will serve and save us.

Consistent focus is everything, when it comes to creating.  Consistently practicing intense focus will bring about the results we want much more quickly.  We become what we think about all day long, and if our thoughts determine the quality of the words we speak and the lives we live, the most important question we can ask ourselves all day long is: “What am I going to CHOOSE to focus on right now and will that help me accomplish what I want to accomplish today?”

We must choose to be intentional about each moment of each day if we want to take back control of our minds and our lives.

If we feed our focus and destroy all distractions, how much more intentional will our lives be?  What will we be able to eventually create and manifest for ourselves and those we love?  How different will our lives be?

“Knowledge is power.  Knowledge about oneself is self-empowerment.  Knowledge of oneself comes from meditation.” -Dr. Joe Dispenza

Through self-empowerment, we become progressively more capable of self-actualization and more capable of self-recreation.  The book, BREAKING THE HAVIT OF BEING YOURSELF, by Dr. Joe Dispenza in an interesting read about Self-Recreation.

The interviews with Dr. Joe Dispenza on Impact Theory, The Lewis Howes Show, and the Ed Mylett Show, found on YouTube, are worth watching again and again.  Diving into his world and consuming all of his content is time well-spent.  Simply typye Joe Dispenza into the YouTube search engine.

What are YOU going to focus on today?  What will you choose to feed, and what will you choose to starve?  Which thoughts, emotions, and actions will you empower, and which ones will you take the power from?  What life are you going to create for yourself and your loved ones?  Are you living each moment well, in a beautiful, happy, peaceful state you choose to live in, or are you allowing your mind to be controlled, and living a life of distractions and darkness, allowing OTHERS to program and distract your mind to serve THEIR purposes and empower THEIR agenda?

Today I will think about these things, and answer the questions: “Do I need to wake up from a dark slumber?  Is there any one thing I can start doing, daily and consistently, which will propel me towards a better, happier, more meaningful, more optimized, more purpose-filled life, than the one I am now living?”

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Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.