Author: Pete Jones

I have had many relationships over the years.  Some have been deep and meaningful, and have blossomed and grown into something beautiful.  Others ended quickly in immediate disaster, pain, and agony.  They gave me feelings of defeat and hopelessness, because of my disempowering perspectives and the ways I chose to define them, and left a bitter taste in my mouth and a sinking feeling of failure in my gut.  Those failed relationships made me feel as though I never wanted to open myself up to another human being again, as long as I live.

The longer I live, the more I realize the importance of being grateful for each of the many relationships I experienced in my life.  I have grown to believe that each one was strategically placed at just the right and perfect time for me.  Each relationship accomplished something great and worked some sort of miracle in my life at the exact moment that I needed a particular lesson.  Each person I have ever encountered, have come across, or have had experiences with, has left me better off for having known them.  I have gained something, learned something, remembered something, felt something, and experienced something great from ALL of them.  It didn’t matter if their intentions, words, or actions were good or bad, creative or destructive.  All of the experiences made me better in some way.  They made me more experienced, wiser, more loving, more forgiving, more learned, and left me feeling more blessed.  All of the things they did to me, were things that I eventually realized they did for me.  I became stronger and more capable of deeper connections through each relationship I experienced, rendering me more experienced, confident, and capable in the beautiful relationships I have yet to create with others.

I received an important lesson from EVERY relationship I have had, which has then empowered me in my CURRENT love relationship to BE BETTER.

Some of the lessons I learned from all of my “failed” relationships that helped me MOST, to create BETTER relationships:

• NOBODY can or will “complete” you.  You, ALL BY YOURSELF, are ALREADY complete and whole.
• How you see YOURSELF is how you will generally see others.  The more you love yourself, the more you can love others.
• How you FEEL is of the utmost importance.  The quality of the way you FEEL will dictate the quality of EVERYTHING else in your life, including how you interact with others, the decisions you make, and EVERY creation you participate in.
• When someone triggers you, in ANY way, it is about YOU, not them.  YOUR opinion of yourself needs to be more important than the opinions OTHERS have of you.  SELF IDENTITY AND THE WAY YOU SEE YOURSELF IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE.
• If you are faced with the decision to be RIGHT or to be KIND, ALWAYS choose to be kind.
• SELF CARE is NOT selfish-IT IS NECESSARY.  We cannot lead others into the light by stepping into the darkness with them, just like we cannot continuously provide an overflow of abundance for others in ANY area of life without first filling ourselves up.
• DO THINGS, EVERY DAY, ALL DAY, THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, THAT LIGHT YOU UP, and THAT RE-ENERGIZE YOU.  HOW WE FEEL is what determines the speed and quickness of what we create, attract, manifest, and project, FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME.
• Strategically design each day to be able to only do what makes you FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME, more and more.

I also realized that there was a common denominator in each of my “failed” relationships:  ME.  I finally realized that what Jim Rohn said was true.  If I wanted things in my life to change, I had to change.  If I wanted things in my life to get better, I had to get better.  

I’m grateful for each person I have crossed paths with and for what I have learned, gained, and experienced, because of them all.  The miracles in our lives are worked through other people, sometimes in the most unexpected and difficult ways to understand.

Today’s challenge for myself:  Today I will ponder on the blessings, positivity, the good, and the benefits in my life because of my relationships with others in my past that help me create and contribute MORE to my CURRENT relationship.  I will take the time express gratitude when and where it is appropriate to do so.  I will remember that it is the relationship that I have with MYSELF that matters most, and I will talk to myself, treat myself, and perceive of myself, as someone I love and want to keep around.  I Will remember: WE PROJECT ALL THAT WE BELIEVE WE ARE, AND BY SO DOING WE RENDER OUR REALITY.

THE BETTER WE KNOW, THE BETTER WE CAN DO.  EVERYTHING is feedback.  EVERYTHING is useful data-information we can use to upgrade our beliefs, opinions, meanings, definitions, perspectives, and habits.  EVERYTHING is an opportunity for experiential learning through interaction, and to use what we learn to UPGRADE SKILLS in order to CONSTANTLY become BETTER CREATORS.

goodinthehead is on also on Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

Throughout this life, we are all damaged in one way or another.  There is physical damage, emotional damage, spiritual damage, financial damage, and there are many other kinds of damage.  Some damages are done to us by others.  Sometimes we damage others.  Many times, we damage ourselves.

In an interview with Tom Bilyeu, on his YouTube show Impact Theory, Jewel tells the story of the allegory of The Statue, and describes tools SHE found to heal from damage she incurred as a child.  It is a beautiful experience that she shares, and an opportunity for ALL of us to acquire new healing skills.

With time and effective skills, tools, practices, habits, and techniques, we can learn how to heal.  Remember this.  We can learn to heal ourselves and be a source of healing for others.  Through repetition and practice, mastery of ANYTHING can be achieved.

When we don’t know of, or have, any effective skills, tools, practices, habits, and techniques to heal the damage, addictions or distractions can become yet another challenge in our lives for us to overcome.  I think it is useful for us as individuals to search for and find effective skills, tools, and techniques for ourselves, and work on healing.

HUMANS ARE THE ULTIMATE ADAPTATION MACHINES.  WE CAN HEAL FROM ANYTHING.

Some of the wisest words I’ve ever heard:

UNTIL YOU CHANGE, THINGS AREN’T GOING TO CHANGE FOR YOU.

Today I will look deep inside myself to find something I want or need to heal from, and search for effective methods to do so.

Healing our inner world is one of the most essential acts we can undertake—not just for our personal well-being, but for the healing of humanity as a whole. Our inner world—made up of thoughts, emotions, memories, beliefs, and subconscious patterns—acts as the lens through which we perceive and respond to life. When that inner space is wounded, cluttered, or misaligned, our outer world becomes a reflection of that dis-ease.

Here are a few core reasons why healing the inner world is so important:

1. Clarity and Peace: Unhealed wounds often create noise, confusion, or reactivity within us. Healing brings clarity of mind and a peaceful heart, allowing us to respond to life from presence rather than pain.

2. Freedom from the Past: Inner healing frees us from the grip of old patterns, trauma, and conditioning. It loosens the hold of fear, shame, and limiting beliefs, allowing our true self to emerge.

3. Authentic Relationships: When we heal internally, we stop projecting our pain onto others. We begin to relate from a place of wholeness rather than neediness or defense, improving the depth and authenticity of our connections.

4. Empowerment and Purpose: A healed inner world reconnects us with our soul’s wisdom and purpose. We begin to live intentionally, guided by intuition and inner truth rather than external approval or survival strategies.

5. Creating a Better World: Inner healing ripples outward. As more individuals transform their inner landscapes, the collective field shifts. Peace, compassion, and clarity spread through families, communities, and eventually systems.

In short, healing our inner world is how we reclaim our power, remember who we truly are, and help co-create a world grounded in love rather than fear.

For many effective tools and videos on different methods of healing, click here.

For more tools for healing, see https://goodinthehead.com/healing-2/

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

This question was asked in a group on-line I belong to.  The answers were great, and I hope sharing it will help someone else, in some way.

Answer:  You can start by stopping the thoughts that it’s messed up… keep saying that you believe it so it is.  Explanation:  It’s not the thought .  It’s fucked cos I’m not in control and I give in again n again to the things affecting my life.  Answer:  You have to discipline yourself.

You thinking you are not in control is part of the problem. You can’t control most circumstances but you can control your response.

Read!!! What goes in your mind comes out!
-get around positive people that empower you not discourage you.
-Vision! Studies prove that our mind can’t tell the difference between reality and imagination. When we vision the way we want something to go like a performance or even events in our life, it will change how they happen because it will feel like we’ve done it before.
-Change your physiology. We know that motion creates emotion. The more you move the more energetic and motivated you’ll be to take action and do shit!
-Trust the process! I promise you whatever you’re going through will go away and other people have it way worse. Show some gratitude and believe that all will work out. You’re exactly where you need to be!
Stay positive buddy!😁

https://www.thebestbrainpossible.com/the-10-fundamentals…/

Give yourself a path out of it. Right now it is fucked and will likely stay fucked. If you transition to it is fucked but you will get some good answers from these comments that gives your mind a path out of the current thinking.

If you never “think” your in control you will never “feel” in control either

Bad things and contrasting situations happen to all of us these are what can be recognised as facts.
But our opinions about those facts are always controllable just by choosing to deliberately think differently about them.

I could pick up a rock and take it to the top of a mountain, then i could throw it all the way to the bottom, the rock hasnt changed at all its still just a rock.

In the same way you could get an amazing job or promotion, win the lottery etc, then another
time in your life you could file for bankruptcy.

But YOU are still YOU,
YOU remain the same spiritual being you were born to be no matter what happens to you.

The things that change are what happen and your opinion about them is the part you always can control, you can normally feel better just by writing a different story and choosing to think about these contrasting situations in a different way.

Because its rarely what “happens” to us that really matters, its how we react that defines us.

A brand new self image of yourself could be very helpful.
I would highly recommend reading “Psycho-Cybernetics” and to take on all positive suggestions and daily practices as the book suggests for a minimum of 21 days and see how you feel after that?

Analyze what you are taking in through your five senses daily. What are you watching? Reading? listening to? What are you feeding your mind?  Who are you around? Can you surround yourself with more positive individuals to help build you up? Create a safe space for yourself and begin to fed yourself with positive affirmations and information. Don’t listen to sad music, watch violent movies or surround yourself with the “gunk” of the world. Look for the things that inspire you, motivate you and you will begin to thrive.  This must be a process first, and it’s a struggle. However, then it becomes a habit and then a habit becomes part of what makes you you.

I don’t believe that someone is totally fucked.
but change (aka rewire) can be not easy.
Start with baby steps can be useful.

https://www.amazon.com/Small-Step-Change…/dp/B00GU2RHCG/

1. Change your diet & Track your food intake 2. Exercise Daily and Stretch 3. Practice Breathing exercises

I am going to make an assumption. You are bouncing off of rock bottom. Bro I’ve been there. I have two kids, I am getting divorced and I am completely changing careers. Life was sucking. I had to start at the raw fucking basics.

 

Gotta change that mindset. I’ve been there a few times, myself. Everything seems to be working against you. You’re swimming upstream. Nothing is going right. It’s incredibly easy to think of how bad you have it and how stressed you are.
Take a few minutes to be thankful of the things you do have:
– Your health
– Internet access
– A network of awesome people who want to see you through this situatoin

Find the small positives and eventually they become big positives =)

Sounds like you’ve started to believe and agree with the thoughts in your mind that are lies and serve you, your future and your life no good. The lies are making you believe that you are “NOT GOOD ENOUGH” and that your brain is “FUCKED.” Your brain is not fucked you have just started to attach to those beliefs and voices, the leis inside of you that we ALL HAVE and you have let them start to define who you are. You have to realize those negative voices are not who you are they are lies, you just have to remember this day in and day out because its an easy trap to fall into 🙂

Your mind is not the issue
Change your mental diet.

Adopt new habits which will change your mindset. It will take strong willpower.

A simple way to start is to say 5 positive things about yourself and keep repeating those to yourself out loud throughout the day. Really feel it when you say those things. An example may be “I am a strong willed person who executes on his plan”, or “i am a kind person and I care about my family, friends and myself”.

The way we speak to ourselves is super important so the dialogue needs to be positive because we are always our own worst critic. Change the way you speak to yourself and it may the catalyst to changing your beliefs. Beliefs are the next step in this. Impact Theory has a great belief system you should check out and it’s free. Good luck mate.

Angela Court Small amount of info to go by but at a glance, maybe….

Remember that if you judge yourself for your thoughts or current position in life, or your feelings, it’s harder to go where you want to go. Once we can chose to not judge our feelings, we can let them wash over us, knowing they can’t harm us as that they will pass. Then we can focus on the « what/why » we feel that way or believe that belief and decide if it is serving us today, and towards our goals.

You are enough. Write that on your mirror Amel Robbins style. Begin to believe it. Your choices can empower you to know your self worth, and your rights to forgive yourself for your past and human-ness and move fully forward to your best self and best life.

Only let in the light and respectfully don’t let in anything that doesn’t feel like light. Or the fuel for the light. Then give light to other, so you can feel fulfilled and connected.
Best wishes!

Only few people have the guts to do it on their own. Find someone around you:- work, school etc who changed them self entirely. That’s the start…

We are a very complex system and there´s a lot of factors that can be affecting you (Sleep, diet, exercise, environment, social interaction) It’s really hard to give an answer… and then having the answer it is really hard to get in action…

Liza Becker How about looking for inspiration to change? There are amazing books out there that can help you develop a growth mindset. Mindset by Carol Dweck is one of them.

Go do a 1 week vipassana meditation course. It’s free. It works wonders. This is it being used in prisons.
https://youtu.be/QR7CbbcIzLc

As someone working toward an impact in the world of mental health, I’d highly recommend this book based on Acceptance and Commitment therapy in the context of laymen and self-therapy. It’s not complicated, but incredibly powerful in changing your mindset to one of self-acceptance and living a value-based life. There is a component of mindfulness that can be challenging, but it’s laid out very well. That bit requires work. The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT https://www.amazon.com/…/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i…

Meditate, meditate, meditate. The answer are within.

Go to a psychologist. 3 sessions did more for me than 3 years of my own progress…and now I’m taking what I learned previously and building in what he taught me. Go go go go go go and it’ll help you more than you imagine, and it doesn’t need to be permanent. You’d pay 30 to have Tom consult you on business for an hour, right? It’d save you tons of headaches. This is no different and I so hope you can find a way to.

You sound like you are in overwhelm right now, and your challenges too large. I’d suggest writing things down, 1) to get your thoughts OUT of your head and 2) to be able to see them clearly and then you can break them down into manageable pieces, for which solutions can be found. Finding your own inner peace might be through exercise/meditation/ walking the dog or breathing, try exploring all of the good things suggested to find what works for you. All the best.

Can absolutely relate to your situation. What helps me is becoming aware of my ANT‘s (Jim Kwik) Automatic Negative (self)Talk. As soon as you realize what‘s bothering you, you can find a way to change it (Meditation be aware there are different stiles of meditation, figure out which one suits you best)
GO ON NO LIMIT WARRIOR…!!! ✌️

 

The quality of the content of our minds will determine the quality and content of our lives.

The content of our minds will determine what we allow into our lives, and what we don’t.  It will determine what we focus on, and what we don’t.  It will determine what we strive for, work for, plan for, dream for, and accomplish.

And what we don’t.

We are in charge of our lives.  We are 100% responsible for the outcomes of our lives, through the perceptions and perspectives which we choose to use as the filters through which we see EVERYTHING.  The only thing we can truly be in control of is our mind.  We are 100% responsible for the personal reality we choose to design, attract, manifest, create, and project through what we allow to occupy our minds.  WE ARE CREATORS.

Today I will determine the content of my mind.  I will only allow into my mind that which will help me accomplish the exact life that I want for myself and the ones I love.  If I don’t yet know exactly what that looks like, I will think about it, and write it down.  I will remember that clarity of vision empowers me to create what I envision.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

Getting up with the remembrance of the meditation I did right before falling into sleep the night before.

Meditation, breath work, journaling, forgiveness and gratitude.

I name things i am grateful for in my life.

Gratitude – counting all things that make me happy 10+ 🙂
and I tend to say loudly in the morning ”Damn if feels soo good to be ALIVE 

My personal morning practice – meditation; parts of yoga and general stretching- maybe a little exercising; head/hand/foot acupuncture/massage; reading a wise quote to think about a minute before carrying on with the day. In general I just recommend to find a little routine which wakes up your body/mind/spirit – something that brings you joy in someway 🙂start with just taking a conscious breath and maybe by saying thank you for another beautiful day and smile. That can be so powerful already to start your day with gratitude! maybe add 5-mins of just sitting and observing your mind and thoughts before you go to have breakfast. through my own experience I recommend to get out of the bed – sometimes it’s very inviting to just fall back on the cushion after meditating hehehe 😀 keep on adding things every other day or week to extend your practice and see what it does with you. since I developed my own practice I realized that it can be life changing. days I didn’t do my practice in the morning where so different and less productive. It’s very enlightening to concentrate on your own creative process every morning right when you get up. you care about yourself! my practice in the morning takes usually half-hour to an hour but there are days I just got time for a 15 min practice and it still incredibly supportive to get started!😛

 

Probably the most important. Otherwise you will just keep experiencing loops. Or “hell” some might call it.

The “mind” has NO relevance or importance on the spiritual path.

I see it as learning to connect to your light while keeping that rational brain busy or quiet. That brain can disrupt spiritual progression with unhelpful chitter chatter.

The mind is not the friend of spirituality. – But can it be, or is that an absolute truth for everyone?  -The mind can allow the ego to take over and the mind can play tricks. That’s why quieting the mind is so important.

Very important! Every through is energy. It flows on vibrations into the universe. These energy’s intertwine with emotions. What you send into the world you get back. Like if you smile, you usually get a smile back. Mindfulness is key. Spirituality in basic terms is to be a good person, love one another, love mother earth. Be grounded, remember we still live on this planet. When you follow these basic statements you’ll reap the rewards of educational growth. Which this is what existence is all about we come here to learn the lessons of life to progress our soul.

Mindset is important when it comes to everything.

I’m no Bible thumper, but it’s true that God helps those who help themselves. If we want to experience a spiritual awakening, we have to open our hearts and souls wide to receiving it.
I see a lot of posts asking for someone to send spiritual healing. Healing a troubled soul is always a one-on-one, inside job. No one else can do it for us. So mindset is everything.

 

Keilene Mills:

Positive Thinking
Temp Seclusion
Good Talk
Read
Listen to Music

Carla Jones: Hugs and dancing 

Erin Silverhorn: Music

Fillip Apergis: Shooting range

Maggie Mae Higgins: Voodoo dolls 😂

Jenny Lauzon: I didn’t hear this from anywhere but kinda made it up for what worked.
I rub my middle finger slowly but consistently from the top of my forehead to the tip of my nose or vice versa. Definitely helps my anxiety. I’ve done this with my babies too and it’s helped. I hope this helps ya. Otherwise I’m loony 😉

Glenn Banks: Make unrealistic expectations realistic, like, “Everyone should love me, or life should be fair.”  There are hundreds of them.

Wendy Mysak: Bubble bath with candles lit all around and a glass of wine

Kerri Cameron: Tapping method! EFT.  https://youtu.be/XyHxuTG6jRk

Becki Pierce:  ummm…..chocolate?  I love to go to the park and get grounded. Take my shoes off and walk around on the grass.

Tami Millett: Feel your pulse.
Tell someone this moment is just too much for me. (Verbally hear your self release it)
Hold a sweet baby that is ready to sleep.

Donn Fuller: I have chickens, I go out back and sit and watch them peck and scratch in the back yard, after I get home from work.

Billy Scott: Music, journaling, stretching, yoga, beach sounds, pictures of calming places, essential oils, creative visualizations, affirmations, reading, working out, I could probably come up with more but this should get you started. Good luck!

An Ice cold shower for 30 seconds
–
Primal scream therapy:
Shout/scream for 30 seconds
(but not at someone).
–
smash something
(that is not of value to you or someone else).
–
just go crazy for 30 seconds
(somewhere that you won’t get arrested).
–
Releasing built up tension is the key to re-centering yourself.

Bruno Schuyten Sport, massage, essential oils (go for the pure ones), treating yourself, tapping, positive affirmation, hugs and the very best that works every time…. Help someone who has less than you… I never found anyone who doesn’t feel soooooooooooo much better after helping someone who needs it. Pete Jones Excellent answer. Thank you. Sadaf Haider Khan I guess Bruno’s given the reality check which we sometimes forget to keep in perspective. Thanks Bruno! 💖 To helping others! The best addiction! 👍 Bruno Schuyten Yes it is, an addiction, I used to be addicted to lots of negative stuff, but I have found that helping others is the best drug in the world, it gives you all the chemical in your brain to bring happiness, deep sense of fulfillment, joy, peace and can transform the worst day into a pretty good day! Totally egoistic though, helping others is something I do for me to feel good about myself 😁

 

 

Travis Maxwell Knowledge. Hopefully everyone you contact has a a piece from you.

Dorian Fno Temple I think I already have. That through it all you never relent and perhaps I am my own poster child for FNO!!!

Veronica Bedessie I would love to have a big foster home for about 10 kids. I know that it would live on well after I’m gone. As I have a beautiful son with a huge heart and loves children. I would love to have a positive impact on so many young lives with my husband.

Bruno Schuyten This one is the baseline of my business, I want (and am doing now) to build a global team of world changers who dedicate their time to help, educate and empower people in the use of natural solutions for their health while raising awareness about better ways to care for themselves and the planet and giving the opportunity to become financially free through helping others (ps: that also help communities of growers, farmers and distillers around the world through a sustainable development of their business). –Pete Jones-That’s a contribution I think most people would absolutely love to be a part of. 👍 Bruno Schuyten I’m happy to get in touch and explain more to any interested person 😊 our community has changed my life by giving me a purpose in life on focusing my energy towards helping people rather than my own fears.

I’ve already started my contribution in helping to re-educate society to become self sufficient, independent, and knowing the difference between true value and man made artificial value. also, a society that willing accepts responsibility and accountability for their entire experience in this world rather than constantly deflecting it and blaming everyone else for their personal and collective experiences.

Just to be kind and conscientious whenever I can and hopefully leave more of a positive footprint than a negative one . At the end of the day I think that’s all we can do. I am especially concerned about poverty women’s safety and empowerment and the thriving of animals and the environment.

I create memories so I can live on through my family. I never meant my grandfather and a family member said I act like him. That’s because my mom loved him so much that he lived on through her. Domino affect.

I’d like to open a respite center for children who’s parents have long or enduring illnesses. Somewhere they can have a sleep over and have fun.

To give comfort to my fellow vets through volunteering at my local VA Hospital and to work with students at the Catholic School of my church.😌

I want it to affect people who think their of no value to this world, people who think it isn’t possible to be legendary on a world stage.   -Love this!! I want the same.  Great  , we can do it.

I want to make my children compassionate , caring, loving and always the givers. So they could share with others whatever they might have and feel happy with it…and spread this thing in the world through their children and so on…..

Stories that last past my generation that inspire others to do what inspires them. Leaving a legacy around improving our lives so that we may improve the lives of others.