This interview, featuring Dr. Bruce Lipton, contained some startling information which really made me question some of my beliefs and empowered me to expand my thinking, my beliefs, and my mind:
In it I learned, and now believe, that we all tend to live our lives on auto-pilot. 95% of our lives are lived by the subconscious, through habituated actions derived by the beliefs we acquired quite early in our lives. That means we are on autopilot 95% of the time, and our reactions to life, people, thoughts, and situations are simply automated habits. To come to the realization that I have habitually lived my life based upon beliefs and habits formed when I was 3, 4, and 5 years old was a little troubling to me.
When I realized this, I had to take a good look at my beliefs. When we were younger, we had younger minds. As we grow and change, so does our life experience, knowledge, wisdom, and perspective. When we were younger, we had not yet developed into the person we now are, and our minds were not yet developed into what they now are. Misconceptions and misunderstandings were much more commonplace when we were younger. Realizing these things is when I began working on The goodinthehead Beliefs Project. It has been an incredibly helpful tool I have used to empower myself to create new, improved, growth-oriented, more evolved beliefs. Click on the button below to learn more about this project:
goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders. Please share any message with someone you love or may care about. Through adding value to others, we become more valuable.
Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. Focus is everything!
I was first introduced to Dean Graziosi and his beliefs, mindset, and life story through my favorite show on YouTube, Impact Theory:
Of course, after learning more about him, I had to follow him on social media, and through Facebook, came across his 30-Day Challenge. It was easy to do (literally taking less than 5 minutes every day) and helped me to try new things consistently and push myself to do things I wouldn’t have done without this challenge.
Now here is my challenge to you: Try his 30-Day Challenge out for yourself! See if doing this doesn’t boost your confidence and self-esteem and jump-start you onto a new path of personal growth and improvement. Best wishes to you on your life journey. Click the link below:
Please check out the other pages to this website and share anything of value that you may find with others. It is through adding value to others that we truly become more valuable.
🙏😊❤️
goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders. Please share any message with someone you love or may care about. Through adding value to others, we become more valuable.
Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. Focus is everything!
Can I get an outline, or a short biography of your life, with which I can introduce you? (A brief history of your family of origin, where and how you grew up, what your mother and father and siblings were like.) –I had an extremely hard life – the worst of it before my 50’s – I always knew that I was not wanted by many who should have loved me, especially my mother – even from before birth when mother and her mother tried to abort me – grew up in Rhodesia/now Zimbabwe – parents divorced after three children – two girls first and then a boy.
Mother (British/Afrikaans) –severely child abused – became a cruel abuser – temporal lobe epileptic –violent outbursts – in and out of foster care, hospitals and a mental institute – shock treatment, etc. – (as children we were in and out of children’s homes and foster care) – Mother fell pregnant with me at the age of 15 – married my dad at the age of 16 – divorced by the age of 19. Mother later married an abuser and child molester/child rapist… (as children, our lives went from bad to worse to totally unbearable by the time we were adolescents. Other abusers and incidents of abuse in my childhood and adulthood, and my two marriages – I am currently single and intend to keep it that way due to lack of trust).
Father (Greek, Cypriot)–Gentle, kind man who I have always loved and believed in. He suffered a lot in his childhood… orphaned and working very young.
Sibling sister –Beautiful heart… very loved – only 11 months younger than me. I am in constant mourning without her (she’s on the other side of the world), but in contact daily which helps.
Sibling brother –two years younger than me – epileptic – homosexual – most beautiful soul – very loved – died in his sleep after a seizure in 2005.
Step brother and sister on my Greek side…I love them like my own.
What is your current age? – 62 years.
What year were you born and where have you lived? –1956 – Rhodesia/now Zimbabwe (all over… mother moved us practically every 6 months to 1 year).
What were the most important things you learned during your childhood and earlier years that helped you later in life? –To never end up like our mother and abusers – to love ALL – compassion – empathy – intuition – to NEVER-EVER GIVE UP – to LIVE in-spite of all the horrors that stayed!
What were some challenges or disabilities you experienced and what did you gain or benefit from living with and through these? –Huge struggle throughout my life as a result of child abuses, i.e. Dissociative Identity Disorder – Severe PTSD and Multiple Complex PTSD – agoraphobia – lack of confidence – low self-esteem – loss of memory and courageous voice – lack of trust – perception problems – warped world view – etc.
What were your biggest failures/mistakes in life, and what did you learn from them? –I’m struggling with this one, because marrying abusers for instance (marrying a partner for punishment), is often normal for a child abuse victim. I did not choose to fail in my marriages, and I did not choose to make mistakes. I can’t think of anything I deliberately chose to do that would have caused the failure or mistakes I experienced. I always, ALWAYS tried to do the right thing. I learned from and continue to learn from all that goes wrong in my life.
Where is your favorite place you have ever been and why? –A holiday gift trip to Israel, awarded to me as a result of my Logotherapy examination presentation. I felt totally free of any struggles and totally accepted and loved for ME for the first time in my life while on that holiday, among the people/new friends there. I feel as though I have left a part of my soul behind there and mourn to go back.
What is your educational background? –Professional nurse – basic computer trainer and helped develop a basic computer training curriculum for children and adults. I am now a Logotherapist Clinician and Logotherapy Educator/Administrator.
What jobs/employment have you had? –Nursing – computer trainer – Logotherapist – secretary for the Logotherapy institute.
Which was the most fulfilling and why? – Logotherapist – because it is a dream come true to be able to use my past experiences and all that I’ve learned to help others to find their healing and the meaning of their lives. I’ve also developed a gift for interpreting dreams Logotherapeutically and that is a gift I am very grateful for, because it’s helped not only myself but many others too.
When you feel frustrated, angry, or out of control, what do you do to quickly and effectively return to your baseline emotion? (How do you, “Self-soothe”?) –In my childhood I used to soothe by biting my fingers really hard – in my 20’s, I soothed by becoming an alcoholic – (stopped alcohol after making a promise to God when I found out I was pregnant with my first child.) In my 50’s due to transference and counter-transference in therapy, I started to self-injured (bruising), to avoid worse – suicide (I have gotten that under control, even though at times I feel an intense need to do it still and the same with drinking alcohol). Journaling on my blog, counselling clients, working too hard, gardening and writing poetry, keeps me grounded and safe from my own mind. Writing helps me to unravel problems and make sense of them. My creative side was one way to self-soothe as I am very artistic, etc., but I don’t seem to find time for my creativity anymore which is NOT GOOD!
What is a long-lasting, sustainable contribution you would like to make that lasts long after you are gone, and who do you want it to affect?My contribution… my absolute openness and honesty, against all the odds, in sharing my story as an adult survivor of child abuse. I would like what I share to be helpful to child abuse survivors, any abuse victims, perpetrators of abuse, teachers, psychologists, counsellors in general, religious institutions, places of safety, etc. but mostly, I want child abuse to be stopped so that children can be properly and safely loved and protected from harm.
What are the principles and core beliefs you base your decisions and your life upon? Are there any principles or core beliefs that you altered/improved over the years, as you grew, progressed, and improved? (Old beliefs that didn’t serve you/were harmful vs. New beliefs which benefited you and those around you a great deal.)– That we are all here for a purpose – a unique purpose for each unique individual on this earth who has ever been and ever will be – and thus, we are all equally important to one another in our own unique way. We therefore should value each and every person on this earth and believe rather in the goodness of their spirits, than to be looking for the bad and comparing them to ourselves, etc. My most important core belief is that LOVE is the B-all and End-all of everything… universal love and universal caring for all people and all creation on earth and in the Heavens. I believe in one God for all who doesn’t have to be my God or your God… but just The God of all… and am very disturbed by the diversity of beliefs that has ripped the whole world apart, dividing and wounding, and continues to do so. (Old beliefs… that I was a useless nothing… new belief… I have real purpose and am therefore valuable in bringing my learning from life to share with others to help them to believe in themselves and their true purpose also).
Do you have a morning routine which you adhere to in order to, “Prime your pump,” and empower yourself to be a better, more grounded, centered, focused version of yourself for the day? I do often wake up and thank God for a new day and new opportunities to learn and grow and do what I came to this world to do… to become the best I can be… to do the best I can do. But other than that… I would love to go for a walk and exercise and watch the sunrise and breathe fresh air, but agoraphobia and lack of real motivation and fear of the outside world still holds me back. I am lacking here…
What are your favorite 3 quotes and why?
“To Struggle when hope is banished! To live when life’s salt is gone! To dwell in a dream that’s vanished! To endure, and go calmly on!” ~ Ben Jonson (Because this is what I do and how I survive)
“In life the opportunities to address oneself to this or that group of values vary from hour to hour. Sometimes life demands of us the realization of creative values; at other times we feel it necessary to turn to the category of experiential values. At one time we are called upon, as it were, to enrich the world by our actions, another time to enrich ourselves by our experiences. Sometimes the demands of the hour may be fulfilled by an act, at another time by our surrendering to the glory of an experience. Man can be “obligated” to experience joy. In this sense a person sitting in a streetcar who has the opportunity to watch a wonderful sunset, or to breathe in the rich scent of flowering acacias, and who instead goes on reading his newspaper, could at such a moment be accused of being neglectful toward his obligations” (Frankl 1986:45) ~ The Doctor and the Soul (Because it’s so important to see and feel and acknowledge the beauty available to us and around us… this is how I feed my longing soul and helps me to believe in “something” still, as opposed to “THE NOTHING”)
“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; if I can ease one life the aching,
or cool one pain, or help one fainting robin unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.” ~ Emily Dickinson (because this is the ultimate purpose of my life)
Do you have a book list of your favorite, most helpful books? What are the books on your list and what were the most important points from each one?
Book: Man’s Search for Meaning ~ Viktor Frankl (and all Frankl or Teria Shantall books on Logotherapy)
For the same reasons as this quote in another of Frankl’s books:
“The resources of their noetic dimension are tapped, the defiant power of their spirit is aroused, making them aware that they are not identical with their fears, obsessions, inferiority complexes, depressions, and emotional outbursts. They see that they are not helpless victims of their biological, psychological, or sociological fate; do not have to remain the way they are; and can stand in any situation” (Taken from: Chapter 4: Viktor E. Frankl and Logotherapy)
Book: Life’s Meaning in the Face of Suffering ~ Dr Teria Shantall
Frankl quoted Goethe as saying: “If we take a man as he is, we make him worse; if we take him as he ought to be, we help him become it” (Shantall, 2002, p. 19) ~ Life’s Meaning in the Face of Suffering
Book: The Body Never Lies ~ Alice Miller
Clearly shows the devastating effects of child abuse on the adult survivor
Book: The Deepest Well ~ Dr Nadine Burke Harris
She speaks my language, but with words I would not have been able to use as well – like someone has at last put into words so much of what I have learned as an adult survivor of child abuse.
Book: The Prophet ~ Kahlil Gibran
Brings out so much soul-beauty that we all could be living by
Book: Invisible Heroes ~ (Naparstek)
“I think that heroes are people who do good or necessary things at great personal cost. Heroism must be judged by the courage and grief required to do what needs doing. That’s why trauma—that great terrorizer—produces heroes. No one has to override fear the way a trauma survivor does.
Sometimes the heroism looks like nothing at all. When a phobic rape survivor makes herself go to an evening PTA meeting, even though her heart is pounding with terror and her body is drenched in sweat—that’s a form of heroism. When someone has been so traumatized by a recent auto collision that he cannot get behind a wheel of a car without freezing with fear, but he forces himself to breathe and take the wheel and drive to work anyway—that’s heroism, too. And when a Vietnam veteran with post-traumatic stress forces himself to interview for a job, even though he wants to bolt, and it takes every ounce of will, courage, and determination he’s got to override the intense fear and shame he feels—emotions, by the way, make no sense to him and cause him to question his own sanity—that’s heroism as well.
Post-traumatic stress creates such daunting fear and heart-stopping distress that it produces legions of heroes, whose every day is a test of their mettle, commitment, and courage” (Naparstek, 2006, p.xv)
Book: The Bible (according to my own personal interpretation, between my Father in Heaven and I), because it is a wonderful guide to TRUE LOVE, life and goodness and it teaches me about Heaven… and I have friends in Heaven.
Who were the most important influential people in your life so far? Who do you consider your mentors? (This can be someone in your life or someone you have never met.)
A tiny handful of people ~ who touched my life deeply when I was a child… letting me know that even in the terrible nightmare of a world where I grew up, there was still real goodness and love to be found… they influenced my life for immense good cutting through all the damage and sorrow to reveal my inner light and allow me to shine even in the darkest of darkness.
Dr Teria Shantall ~ The greatest mentor of my life today ~ If it was not for her absolute and unconditional belief in me, I would NOT be here today. More healing growth has happened in my life and mind through her influence since my 50’s, than by any other means at any other time of my life.
My biological sister ~ She is an intragyral part of my very soul… she is my true laughter and the very air that I breathe.
My biological brother after his death in 2005 ~ Because he has found a way to let me know that he is with me each and every day. I feel his love and support and this helps to sustain me.
My Greek stepmother ~ She showed me what a good woman and mother was meant to be. She taught me about love and I emulated my life on her, so that I would never end up like my own mother.
Who or what has been the biggest, most helpful contributors to your life?
I started studying Logotherapy around 2009, in my 50’s. My life has changed so much since then. My Logotherapy trainers and Dr Teria Shantall, showed me what I was capable of… the study alone was all I needed to change my entire life around. I am still on my healing journey, but without Logotherapy, I would not have even known that healing was possible. I’m doing things today that I never believed possible for me.
Is there anything I have not asked you that you would like to share that you believe could benefit others?My blog address: www.pattyskeys.co.za
What do you believe is the purpose of your life? –To share my life story as openly and honestly as I possibly can to bring, what I am able to give from my experience, to all who are interested in helping people abused as children and adult survivors of child abuse as well as perpetrators, etc. To do everything in my power to show the world of abused people out there, just how devastating child abuse can be on the entire life of the survivor and most importantly to prove by my own journey, that healing is possible if one is prepared to put in the continuous and often very hard work… to learn to face one’s self in all our weaknesses and to do all we can to help ourselves to transcend what was, to become what we ought to be. To take back our power. To protect the children and give them the carefree and happy lives they are mean to have. TO STOP CHILD ABUSE!
What is your main wish/desire for the loved ones in your life? –That our family always stays united. That my children will always LOVE each other and do their best to stay in contact and be there for each other.
If presented with an opportunity to make a truly sustainable and lasting difference in this world, what would this offer look like, and how would you contribute to its advancement? What are you currently doing to create this reality and manifest its existence into a reality? – I am keeping a blog about my struggles and my healing journey through Logotherapy… I have almost finished writing my biographical book and would love to have help to get it edited and published once it is done. I would also love to have my life-story made into a documentary or film and would be thrilled to be a part of that also (it would take courage for me). I have written children’s stories and over 1000 poems since I was 12 years old… and 23 metaphorical therapy stories during my therapy journey, which are to be used by therapists to help their clients. I would love to have all that are suitable, published someday… I am also creating PowerPoint presentations to teach the healing power of Logotherapy and to help educate about the devastating effects of child abuse. This is my life’s most longed for dream… to have my voice out there and heard… for my silent scream to become the loudest shout, because I only have a writing voice (my speaking voice has little confidence). Having my works published and out there, is I believe, the purpose of my life so that I can make a difference in this world… so that my life is not wasted.
An introduction to Q Sciences, given by the CEO, Marc Wilson:
Click on the picture of Brandon Stevens to hear more about Q Sciences and how the company can benefit you and your family, including supplementing your income:
Click the picture below to learn more about becoming an Ambassador with Q Sciences from AJ Jordan.
Hear more about Q Sciences from Melanie Houghton, and how Q Sciences helped her and her family:
Visit my Q96 website to check out the products, or if you would like to also become an Ambassador. When you click on the green Join/Buy button, a “Market Selector” window will appear. Simply click “Select” and choose your country, then click “Continue.”
Thank you to a friend of mine at work, Mike, for his helpful input on this subject.
“TOGETHER IS BETTER” -Simon Sinek
Some people like to try to control others. A great way to do this is through criticism-even if it is completely untrue or made up JUST TO ELICIT an emotional response. If others can get any kind of a reaction or emotional response from us, they win, at a game we usually don’t even realize they are playing with us. They just succeeded in controlling us and manipulating our emotions.
Such people seem to need the distraction of playing games and doing all they can to control the emotions of others, for the simple reason that they are incapable of controlling their OWN emotions, or going inward to do the difficult personal work it would take to start learning how. Controlling others distracts them from their own frustrating inability to control themselves.
I have been guilty of such things, which makes it easier to spot, and avoid.
For such people, controlling others through criticism is a game to be played and won. It may hurt. After all we have done, after all of our hard work, to hear any criticism may be difficult, hurtful, painful, and usually not helpful. Much of what most of us say and do is for validation. This makes it easy to get hurt and to overreact.
A good thing to remember is that ONLY HURT PEOPLE WANT TO HURT OTHER PEOPLE. Rather than overreacting, we can simply ask, “Are you okay?” People that hurt others, in ANY way, but ESPECIALLY with criticism and belittling, are usually NOT okay.
Some people may truly have our best interest at heart. THEIR criticism is called, “Constructive criticism.” It is still criticism; however, from these people, it is actually helpful to consider it valuable feedback, data, and information coming from a place of love and caring, instead of criticism.
How can we make it easier? How can we handle the criticism effectively so that it isn’t hurtful or painful? How can we differentiate between a game someone is playing and potentially beneficial feedback?
Handling criticism effectively and benefiting from it is a learn-able, practicable skill. We can all learn to get better at it! Here are some tips I have picked up along the way that have worked for me:
Breath. When we are in control of our breath, we are in control. Controlled breathing practices IMMEDIATELY ground us, and this re-centers us. Google BOX BREATHING and try it out!
Listen intently to everything being said. It gives the other person the opportunity to say what they need to say to the best of their ability, if we listen with no immediate, hurried retort. When you feel the need to speak, take a deep breath and listen some more. We have TWO ears and ONE mouth. Listen twice as much as speaking.
Show no signs of emotion. Doing so is viewed by some who would like to manipulate and control us as a weakness. Don’t give such people that satisfaction, as that may be exactly what they are looking for, but don’t deserve. Giving away our emotional control is giving away our power. When we lose self-control, it tends to have a snow ball effect, can quickly become a habit, and may negatively impact us and those around us.
Tone of voice, inflection, looks, and appearance of reactions, all matter. Rolling the eyes or raising an eyebrow may send the wrong message. Be an emotional rock.
Don’t react or respond right away. It is perfectly acceptable to tell someone that we want to take the time to think about and process what they have said and let them know that we will get back to them later. We can even give them a time frame we will get back to them, or not. By doing this, weareincontrol of our self, our emotions, and the timing of the situation. They may not like that and express to us that this is unacceptable, but it is only unacceptable to them. It’s not up to them what is acceptable or unacceptable to us, unless we let it be up to them. This will give us the time we need to really decide the intent or reason behind the criticism and it will allow us the time to decide upon an appropriate, controlled, effective, well-thought-out, beneficial response. We can take the time to decide if the criticism was warranted, true, legitimate, and potentially beneficial, or simply a part of a game the other person may be playing as they try to get an emotional response from us. Sometimes people who try to control others in this way have difficulties controlling themselves, their world, and their own emotions, so they try to control others in any possible way just to enjoy the temporary, false sense of control they so crave.
Replace an old belief with a new one: Instead of, “When people criticize me they are trying to demean or diminish me and make me look bad,” replace it with, “Criticism is FEEDBACK. It is meant to be helpful, useful information. I will thank EVERYONE for any feedback. I will assume, and act as if, EVERYONE is on my side, trying to help me with ANY feedback. I will thank them and move on.” We don’t have to tolerate others who are trying to demean or diminish us, but why assume everyone is trying to do this? Let’s stack the odds in our favor and set ourselves up for success by believing that everyone and everything is ON OUR SIDE, rather than believing that everyone is out to get us.
There is another reason people criticize, belittle, diminish, judge, and condemn, and it is because THAT’S ALL THEY HAVE EVER KNOWN. Some people have simply never been shown a different way to be. They have habituated and automated these practices.
Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard comes from the first interview Lewis Howes did with Marisa Peer on YouTube. If you are unable to listen to the entire interview, just listen to the part that starts around minute 30 of this interview. This interview is full of information and beliefs I wish I had as a much younger version of myself. This interview is LIFE-ALTERING!
I also love what Ram Dass has to say about criticism, and how to love ourselves more. He teaches that loving, programmed parents, in order to socialize us and help us be better, reward and punish us, leaving us feeling small, lacking, inadequate, and not enough. To listen to this short but sweet content, type this into the YouTube search engine: Ram Dass how to love yourself.
Today’s challenge for myself: Today I will think of situations where I have been criticized. I will think of my response or reaction to what I heard. I will think of how I could have reacted differently and created a more beneficial outcome. I will review and practice the steps I want to take while listening to criticism in the future. I will practice this every chance I get.
Two people who speak really well about handling criticism effectively are Ed Mylett and Caleb Maddix. During these interviews, two things are certain: They have been criticized to the extreme, many times, and they know what they are talking about when speaking on how to handle criticism well. Hearing what they had to say about this topic and considering how incredibly successful they both are is why I find their advice is so sound and useful.
goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter. Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders. Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about. It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.
Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our realities.
A smart person eventually learns from their mistakes and the consequences.
A wise person learns from observing the mistakes and consequences, results, and outcomes, that others experience.
Tony Robbins wisely teaches how we can compress decades of knowledge and wisdom into days: Read or listen to a book!
Sometimes, the words on the pages of a book are results of decades of failures, experimentation, experiences, learning, and research, which have been compiled, written, and re-written many times, to become tools for us to use. With and through these books, and through the wisdom of others, we can soon be highly successful at something the writer failed at miserably for years.
For example, I was first introduced to this idea through teachings by Jordan Peterson: The human brain is very cardiovascularly demanding.
If we compromise and consistently feed and reconstruct the body’s cardio vascular function with poor choices, such as smoking, neglecting cardiovascular exercise, or consistent poor diet choices, our memory suffers, and we literally become less smart, by rebuilding our physical bodies in a less-optimal way. Every bite we take is telling our bodies, on a cellular level, constantly informing it how to regenerate. The quality of our dietary choices determines the quality of how our bodies heal.
A person in their 50’s, 60’s, or even their 90’s, can quickly and easily reverse these effects (through consistency and daily repetition), and literally get smarter simply by working out (walking) and eating a diet high in proteins and fats and with very little HEALTHY carbohydrates, in order to strengthen the cardio vascular system!
When we are introduced to new, helpful, and empowering ideas, it can change not only OUR lives, but the lives of everyone around us, as well!
Is your memory suffering, or are your emotional, physical, spiritual, social, or financial aspects of your life lacking in any way? Do something about it!
It is never too late to improve, and there is ALWAYS room for improvement in us all.
PROGRESS = HAPPINESS
IT’S OKAY TO START SMALL.
JUST START!
During this next year, what are the three most important aspects of YOUR life that you want to improve upon? How, EXACTLY, will you do that? What is just one, new, daily, consistent, easy-to-accomplish habit you can practice, in order to re-focus on these three things each and every day?
Repetition begets MASTERY.
What three areas of your life do you want to MASTER, this next year?
Today I will choose to be observant and mindful of others, the mistakes they have made in the past, and the consequences they either suffered from, or benefited from.I will choose to be wise and learn from the mistakes and the WISDOM of others.I will list the three areas of my life I want to MASTER throughout this next year, and seek out the wisdom of others, through their content, to re-focus on and habitually level up my skills in these three areas of my life, each and every day.I will revisit these three things daily, in some way, (an alarm on my phone, a paper on my bathroom mirror, etc.) in order to refocus, again and again, on THAT WHICH I DECIDE TO BE IMPORTANT FOR ME, knowing that as I level up, I will be more valuable and useful to everyone around me.
goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter. Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders. Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about. It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.
Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our realities.
This is an example of my own unique, personalized, daily visualization practice I try to end each day with, including questions I ask myself to remind me of what is important to focus on the next day, in order to be more of what I want to be:
Daily questions- (Create an excel spreadsheet with a weekly report card and graph.)
How many times did you try to help someone who had no desire to be helped?
Did you work out? (Walking, planks, stretching, weights, etc.)
Did you write anything to improve the web site? (Add items to sell, create quotes to invite people to visit the website, add a community forum/chat group, make on-line mindset classes available, on-line life coaching sessions available, public speaking availabilities, etc.)
Did you improve your mind? *You must exercise your brain just like a muscle. Use it or lose it.
Did you compliment someone?
Did you make $200 today?
Visualization-
Think about what your life will look like in 10 years if you answer yes to all of the questions above, every day. Where will you live? Who will you be? What does your house look like? What car are you driving? Where will you travel? Who will you be working with and helping the most? What will you be doing to connect with and help others? How much do you have to give? What will you give? What will be the 3 most important things to you?
See others coming to you for help, hope, empowerment, encouragement, and advice. Connect with others on a deep, meaningful, spiritual level as you share love, kindness, and healing energy. See the vibrational energies within you constantly, consistently growing and you share and give to others.
See your body healing rapidly. Watch in awe as your body and mind heal exponentially more quickly. See the energy flow and pulsate through your brain and body, healing and strengthening your mind. With each breath in, healing energies flow through you in entirety. With each breath out, you exhale all illness, weakness, sadness, and stress, until all you are exhaling is healing energies, which are quickly and efficiently spread towards others.
See the website gaining followers and sharers, exponentially. See people awakened by the words they read, the things they hear, and the videos they watch. Envision them engulfed in excitement as they are exposed to new, helpful, effective tools that will empower them to help themselves. See yourself conversing with all of your mentors, sharing your story and what tools you have learned along the way to share with others to aid them in their own, self-healing routines and habits.
See your mind growing in strength, endurance, and connections, as you continue to research, read, write, and listen to wise, amazing, helpful, content-providers. See the neurons fire together and wire together, grow together, and strengthen continuously and exponentially with each passing moment. See your intelligence growing. See your vocabulary expanding. See your effectiveness grow and spread and help and empower more and more people. See your knowledge growing, allowing you to help others more effectively and efficiently every day. See this knowledge vibrate and pulsate as a growing energy which attracts more and more knowledge and which attracts more like-minded energies and more like-minded souls.
See yourself genuinely and honestly complementing others characteristics of beneficial value with ease and consistency. See them paying it forward and doing the same. See the light, love, and positive, healing energies created through this consistent practice.
Envision wealth. See money being attracted to you. What will you do with all that money? Who will you help and how will you empower them with all that money? See yourself buying and renting out section 8 housing to single parents. See the happiness and smiles of the children being raised in safe, healthy environments. See the tenants becoming inspired and motivated to improve and progress each and every day. Envision their happiness spreading from their minds and into their lives as they plant gardens, paint picket fences out front and play in the nearby park. See yourself purchasing entire neighborhoods to do this with. See the happiness, joy, good health, and safety everyone enjoys. See neighborhoods just like Sunshine Acres growing, expanding, lifting up the spirits of young ones as they grow up happy and healthy. Enjoy the ever-growing vision of the love, generosity, gratitude, and giving spirit!
See millions of people expanding their minds and increasing their vibrational energies through your website each month. See yourself giving to others, which then they also do as they make better choices, make more money, and enjoy a more fulfilling life.
See yourself remaining calm in every situation. See your healing and energy growing always and forever. Feel your body and mind and soul being energized continuously as you live a fulfilling, connected, amazing life of light and love. Envision the smiling faces of your loved ones.
I am a pillar of strength. I am grounded. I am centered, always. I am fit and wealthy in ALL areas of my life. I am confident. I am capable. I am open, honest, and transparent. I am highly intelligent. I am consistent. I am constantly being energized and I am constantly healing. I am persistent. I am respectfully defiant. I question everything. I am disciplined. I learn quickly and remember everything. I make important connections, which solidify in my mind immediately, to be shared as wisdom later at the perfect time for others to benefit the most from. I am personally accountable and responsible. I am an excellent communicator and entertainer. I am in control of my mind and of my destiny. I am a creator.
Here are pictures of the updated versions of this project, which I keep in the book I read before bed each night:
Living a lifestyle of true wealth is a balancing act that can sometimes be difficult and challenging. True wealth isn’t all about money. It is much more involved and beautiful than that. True wealth has to do with flow, balance, and clarity.
As we work hard to reinvent and recreate ourselves each day, it is important we keep an open mind and an open heart.
As we strive to create more actual wealth in our lives, sometimes we are blocked, deterred, distracted, and influenced by things which are counterproductive to our goals. Can you think of any distractions, addictions, or deterrents you may currently be experiencing in your life which inhibit you from feeling, doing, and being more?
My granddaughter asked my wife a question one day about Chakras. My wife immediately pulled up this enlightening, entertaining video on how to open Chakras from a scene from the cartoon, The Last Airbender:
What are some new skills you could acquire that would help you to open your own Chakras? As we learn, practice, and habituate any new skill, we benefit from the results, becoming more of who we are meant to be and more capable of adding value to our lives and this world, while contributing to others.
This meat suit we inhabit is but a temporary blessing, given to us to be mastered and used as a tool. The chemicals and hormones constantly flowing through our brains and bodies as they are produced by thoughts and nutrition we ingest that is used at a cellular level to be spread throughout our bodies instantly, are all within our control.
Through years of research and study, we are taught that we are only truly conscious, on average, 5% of the time. Our subconscious takes over the other 95% of the time and our habituated reactions and emotions take over, as we run like a program on a computer, on auto pilot. There are tools to use and practice such as meditation, breathing, healthy dietary choices of food and drink, and practiced focus, which will empower us to heighten the level of our capabilities and experience a life of awakening and consciousness.
The physical parts of us, the body, the brain, the organs, the skin-are all part of a large, well-put-together, energized, pulsating organism, which we have been given to inhabit temporarily and use to grow our souls and vibrate at a higher energy level. As we learn to vibrate on a different plane, we are more of ourselves. We contribute to others in even more meaningful ways. We love more passionately. We connect more deeply. We enjoy all things more fully. We live more fully. We give more wisely.
Our time in this meat suit is limited. It will end, though we never know exactly when. Best we take full advantage of each moment and live each moment to the fullest. What are some habits you have already created in order to live your life to the fullest each day? What are some skills you could acquire and practice consistently, in order to habituate them, and vibrate at an even higher energy level than you currently enjoy?
We can always improve, change, grow, and evolve, no matter who we are or what we have already accomplished.
GOOD TODAY, BETTER TOMORROW.
This Ted Talk revealing ancient secrets of a Master Healer, made me realize there is much I do not know or understand, which could be use as valuable tools. It was incredibly helpful and insightful:
Breathing was never a focus of mine, until one day I thought I was experiencing a heart attack. My wife rushed me to Urgent Care, where they put me through every test possible. We anxiously awaited the results, which were soon shared with us: The Doctor told me I had the man flu. The Doctor and my wife laughed hysterically at this diagnosis. (To see why, click here for the 2-minute video explaining the Man Flu.) There was absolutely nothing wrong with me. I was told by the Doctor that he rarely saw people as fit as me in his office. It was determined that because of the stress at my new job, working with extremely small and frustrating parts, I was forgetting to breath. I immediately dove deep into research on breath work. I now use the same breathing techniques as the Navy Seals (Box Breathing method), and was fortunate enough to come across this Ted Talk during that time of research:
Things I have added to a daily routine, which has empowered me to live a much more beautiful, fulfilling, purpose-filled life:
Listening to at least one interview from shows found at goodinthehead’s Sources of Inspiration/YouTube Videos, while driving to and from work, while at work, or right after work, during the time I stretch, roll out, and do planks. (The video of exactly how I do these exercises and for how long is coming out soon.)
This daily routine took me thousands of hours of research and over four years to adopt, implement, and habituate. I began with just one thing, every month. It was easy to do just one thing each morning. By the end of the month, that one thing had become an ingrained, lasting habit. It was no longer just easy-it was simply who I was. At the beginning of each month, I added one more thing. If, after a month it wasn’t useful, I stopped doing that one thing. Experimentation is key. Experiencing new things is the best way to learn if they will be beneficial or detrimental to us.
There will come a point where you simply run out of time. The key is to experiment with new habits, find the ones that empower YOU the most to focus on what YOU want for the day, and consistently do THAT. Revisit some of the habits in a year or two. If they don’t work for you now, that is okay, but a few years from now you will be a totally altered version of yourself, and those habits that used to be useless to you, may just be the missing puzzle piece you now need to fully optimize your life!
This daily routine will always be a work in progress, as I strive to create balance and an environment of healing, love, and true wealth in my life. By practicing these things each day I am slowly becoming the man, father, and husband which will consistently and continuously add more value to the lives of those around me, and this is important to me because:
I deserve the best life I can possibly create and manifest.
My loved ones deserve every benefit I can give them by constantly and consistently being my very best self.
The more value we add to others, the more valuable we become.
I have messed up for most of my life and feel the need to make up for that time. Our time is limited.
A life of importance is gauged only by the impact is has on other lives.
We are all a work in progress. We always will be. How quickly we progress and how hard we work is entirely up to us.
Here are a few videos which have empowered me with the knowledge, wisdom, and skill-sets that have truly improved my life and helped me create wealth:
Today’s message comes from a discussion with a friend at work. Thanks, Sammy.
Solomon’s Paradox is something we have all suffered from the effects of in our lives at one time or another. The idea behind this paradox is that while King Solomon was wiser than any man of his time and gave good, sound, valuable, and incredibly beneficial advice to others, he wasn’t very good at dealing with his own life issues and challenges.
TO KNOW, AND NOT TO DO, IS NOT TO KNOW.
We all learn through observing the actions and results of others. Some people teach us what to do, and others teach us what NOT to do. I am reminded of the time I told my youngest son he should be grateful I screwed up most of his life and that he was privileged enough to watch it all, simply because of the fact that I taught him his entire younger life what NOT to do. I have that time to make up for, but I feel no shame or guilt because I did my very best I could at that time in my life.
Then there are, “Askholes.” We all have a friend or someone we know who will ask for advice with an issue or problem they are having, then when we give them sound, helpful, potentially beneficial advice which has worked for us and many others when applied, they come up with every excuse in the book as to why it won’t work for THEM. They choose not to take the advice. They decide that they don’t want to do something new or different they haven’t yet tried. They decide that they would rather keep doing what they are doing and keep getting the same results that they have been getting all along.
Sometimes, the only thing that will make us change is experiencing more pain than we want to continue to tolerate, and the hope of something better if we DO change motivates us to action.
Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time. This seems accurate to me!
Here is one way we can more easily come up with a solution for our self: When we are confronted with a difficult, challenging, or painful problem, we can remove ourselves emotionally from the situation by imagining a good friend or someone we love or care about coming to us for advice about the very situation we are being faced with. We can ask our self, “What advice would I give to that person if they came to me with the same issue?” We can then choose to do what we would advise them to do. We can, in this way, use our our generosity of kindness, love, and wisdom we have towards others, to help our self.
This practice reminds me of a question my mother taught me to ask:
WHAT WOULD I DO RIGHT NOW IF I REALLY DID LOVE MYSELF?
A good friend of mine came up with an excellent point I had to share:
We really can benefit from the question, “What would I do if I really loved myself?”
Today’s challenge for myself: Today I will face a challenging situation with love for myself. I will remember that the better I take care of myself, the better I can care for others. I will remember to always take my own advice, and to strive each day to NOT be an Askhole. When I ask for advice, I will consider it seriously and thank the person by not coming up with ANY excuses as to why their advice won’t work for me.
goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter. Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders. Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about. It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.
Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our realities.
I believe it is a need to remember to prioritize everything in our lives. In order to impact the lives of others more effectively, we must know exactly what we want, and choose what to consistently re-focus on, especially with all of the distractions surrounding us in today’s world.
Our house needs to be in order. We are all different and unique, as are our needs, wants, wishes, and desires. Something which is important to one person may never matter at allto someone else. We all have different priorities based on our own beliefs and experiences. This is truly one of the most beautiful parts of this life experience. INDIVIDUALITY is beautiful. If we were all the same, and we all wanted the same things, this world would be a place of scarcity as we all scrambled for the same things, but because of individuality, this world can be a place of true abundance.
Different is good.
Uniqueness is beautiful.
Originality is a gift.
Individuality is a blessing.
We all need to pay our bills and take care of our financial needs. I think it is important to remember that IMPACT is more important than INCOME. If we choose to believe this, and can keep this in the forefront of our minds, as we go about our daily business, we will make much better choices. These better choices will naturally result in better outcomes and results. We will treat the people we love differently. We will treat the people we do business with differently. We will choose with more discretion WHO we interact with, and who we don’t. Our goals, desires, mindsets, and beliefs, will be different if we choose to focus on impact over income.
We can have more financial success through focusing on impact,
than we ever will by focusing on income.
When we are value-driven, instead of money-driven, something magical happens. The energy exchanges shift. We come across as more sincere, caring, empathetic, authentic, and beneficial towards others, because we are.
We all know that the energy we put out into the Universe tends to come back to us.
We don’t attract what we want.
We attract what we are.
That which we focus on tends to manifest itself more prevalently in our lives. That which we focus on, we attract.
When we ask ourselves what impact we are trying to have by doing what we are doing, and through focusing on adding value to others, in any way, it changes the way we look at what we are doing, creating an experience of giving, instead of an experience of taking. The exchange of energy is completely different, and so are the results this process produces. This process of giving actually energizes us, creates an exponential amount of momentum, and quickly and easily becomes a beneficial habit to anyone willing to try it out.
Today I will remember to ask myself throughout the day, “What impact am I trying to have in the lives of others? What value do I want to add?” How can my individuality, differences, uniqueness, and originality, be expressed through me in a way that will add value to others in ANY way?
goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter. Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders. Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about. It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.
Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our realities.
