Author: Pete Jones

Many times, addictions are formed because the immediate gratification that come from the things we are becoming more and more addicted to are more pleasurable than the displeasure or discomfort that we are feeling when we are NOT partaking in the thing we are becoming addicted to.  It starts by simply being an enjoyable distraction, until we spiral out of control, being consumed by the thing that was once simply pleasurable.

Sometimes our addictions arise from unchecked pain, and the greater the pain, the greater the addiction.  I have learned, however,

THE GREATER THE STRUGGLE,

THE MORE GLORIOUS THE TRIUMPH!

Many of us have experienced the effects of alcohol, drugs, sex, food, video games, television/ entertainment, incessantly scrolling through social media, and many other physical things that cause us mind-numbing, temporary pain-killing, pleasure.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the pleasure of these things that we use them in excess, thinking that if we experience more pleasure from using these things more often, the pain will go away and stay away.  Then, after a time, we realize this belief is inaccurate.  The effects have taken hold on us, and we have allowed ourselves to be controlled by the feelings of pleasure so much that we have lost self-control when it comes to the addictions of our choice.  This leaves us feeling weak, undisciplined, stupid, out of control, and vulnerable, and so we comfort ourselves by over-using or abusing the thing we are addicted to all over again.

It can be a self-perpetuating, destructive, harmful cycle that is incredibly easy to get caught up in.  No matter who we are or how strong, amazing, or evolved we may think we are, we are all susceptible to this possibility.  It is a naturally occurring, human, and physically automated response, instilled within us all, for SURVIVAL.

It is a self-replicating pattern that becomes a habit over time, threatening to destroy our self-confidence, chip away at our character, personalities, and strengths.  Eventually, any addiction will have a negative effect upon our personalities, characters, confidence, and mindset, through guilt and shame.  This, in turn, will eventually impact our relationships with ourselves and others in a negative way.

Some of us become addicted to destructive, harmful, emotional habits, like over-reacting in every situation presented to us throughout the day, or rage, anger, sadness, a victim state, the need for drama, and the enjoyment of stress.

Have you ever known someone who uses these emotional habits as tools to control the emotions of others by getting a reaction-ANY reaction-from others?  I’ve been guilty of this.  I’ve tried controlling the emotions of others, simply because I felt so out of control of my OWN emotions.

These emotional triggers and addictions can easily become life-altering, relationship-destroying habits, creating an entirely different cascade of chemicals and hormones within us that we mistake as pleasant, when in reality we are on a destructive, harmful trajectory, which only APPEARS helpful, and only results in TEMPORARY relief, through the false sense of control.

By creating stressful situations and drama, in order to get others to react, in ANY away, we may feel like we are in control and winning a game, but are we really?  I have used sadness, depression, and the belief that there is simply nothing I can do, as tools to get attention, acceptance, or compassion, or to control the emotional responses of others.  I have been guilty of throwing a pity party to get attention, love, and acceptance.  Eventually I learned better ways to live.  I was able to learn ways that contribute to others, instead of harming them, behaving as an energy-sucking, life-taking dementor.

Sometimes we become addicted to ideas and beliefs that are presented to us by professionals such as, “You have an incurable mental disease and there is nothing you can do,” thinking our lives will be easier because we now have an excuse to do nothing because we, “can’t.”  I have fallen prey to this pitfall, as well.

Most of us have become addicted to our technological devices.  I know I am!  Each day is a battle for presence.

Emotions play a huge part in our lives.  They can affect and impact the way we think, and the way we think can affect and impact the way we feel.  Our thoughts, feelings, and emotions can literally cause us to change physically at the cellular level, which affects us chemically and hormonally.

There is absolutely a mind-body connection that affects us all.  When the mind and body are sick, or when we are distracted, our vibrational energy drops and our souls become sick.  We become far less capable of change and creation.

When we build up and strengthen the body, our emotional wellness, our spiritual well-being, and the mind, we create a stable and healthy environment, in which our soul can THRIVE, and change and creation become fun and easy.

We were not created to live a poor life.  There is a better way!  The beauty of this life experience is that there will always be a better way.  There will ALWAYS be something we can do differently to optimize this life experience, grow, progress, expand, improve, and evolve.  As we take action and do these things and have these experiences, we are empowered to add more value to others, because we are a better version of ourselves.  Though our actual, divine WORTH will never change, the more value we add to others, in any way, the more valuable we become.

The most helpful tools available to us all are, in my opinion, visualization and meditation.  Counseling, mentors, family, loved ones, friends, support groups, listening to podcasts, books, empowering content, and reading are also incredibly helpful.  Connections with others is key.  Researching ideas, tools, tips, tricks, and methods which have helped others, and which may also help us, is paramount to our personal success and growth.  The internet has made this incredibly helpful.  YouTube has unlimited amounts of videos with helpful, useful information and podcasts.

Books are a great way to gain wisdom and fill our personal toolbox with the tools which will help us all as individuals.  Books are especially helpful because the author usually only shares the VERY BEST, MOST EFFECTIVE AND USEFUL things they have learned, after decades of life experience.  To read a book is to meditate and study with the author.

We can literally compress decades of knowledge into two weeks or even two days by reading or listening to a book.  See an incredible book list here for the top books that highly successful people read.

People like me, who have failed their way through life, only to tire of the pain and suffering, have dedicated their time and resources to doing this research for themselves in order to grow, heal, improve, progress, and evolve.  They then share what they have found with others, in hopes that others will be able to avoid the pitfalls, pain, suffering, and mistakes that have already been made.

For many of us, it is literally, CHANGE, OR DIE.

It has been said that a stupid man never learns from his mistakes.  A smart man learns from his mistakes.  A wise man will learn from the mistakes of others.

For me, personally, the most helpful thing I have found to help overcome addiction is in redirecting all of my attention not on fighting the old, but on building the new, with INTENSE FOCUS. 

The key, for me, has been to completely REFOCUS all of my energy and attention from one thing to another.  It becomes easier the more I do it, though I still find myself distracted throughout the day.  I have to re-focus, all day long, on that which I want to focus on the most.  There are so many possible distractions in life.

Placing all of my energy, attention, and focus on that new thing, and doing it repeatedly, until it has become a deeply ingrained, automated habit, has helped me to completely restructure, remodel, repair, and improve my belief system, personal philosophies, thought processes, confidence level, mindset, and therefore, my entire life.  I am no longer the man I was five years ago, and isn’t that the point, really, for all of us?  Happiness is found in growth and valuable changes we work hard and put forth effort to achieve.

Today I will look inward to find anything, physically or emotionally, that I turn to in times of difficulty for comfort or distraction.  I will ask myself the question, “Is this helpful or destructive?”  If I know I need help, I will seek out the help.  I will strive to improve every day, in some way, and add value, confidence, and happiness to my life.  By doing so, I will then be empowered and capable to support those I love to HELP THEMSELVES.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

Have you suffered in pain for too long?  Are you tormented by the residual effects of choices made long ago, either by yourself, or by someone else?  Are you exhausted from suffering the painful consequences of actions, bad choices, or missteps along the way?  We all make mistakes.  We all experience failures.  We all learn, sooner or later.  We all experience pain and suffering in this life.  Are you ready to start healing?

WHEN WE ARE TIRED OF HURTING, WE WILL EVENTUALLY REALIZE THAT IT IS ENTIRELY UP TO US TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Jim Rohn teaches, “In order for things to change for you, you must change.”

True and lasting healing comes to us only through change.  CONTINUED healing comes by CONTINUED change.

What we choose to focus on and think about all day long will determine our inner environment.  Eventually, if we repeatedly focus on, and consistently think about a particular set of things long enough, our outer environment will have to match our inner environment.  It takes time, energy, focus, and repetition, to create the EXACT life we TRULY want.

If we keep doing what we have always done, we will continue to get what we have always gotten.

By a certain age, and time in our lives, our choices and the outcomes are 100% our responsibility.  If WE don’t create the EXACT life we want, no one will.

WE must become our own, best advocates.  WE must be our own, greatest supporter.

There is a certain magic in starting each day with a routine or ritual that sets us up for success the entire rest of the day.

If we win the morning, we win the entire day.  It’s all about MOMENTUM.

Each day is a battle, and by winning each day, we can win in THE WAR OF LIFE.

Little successes compile, add up, compound, and become HUGE successes.

Enough LITTLE wins become MAJOR wins.

KEEP GOING.  KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

There are things in each of our lives that LIGHT US UP. These are the things to keep doing.  There are other things that cause us stress, pain, anguish of soul, frustration, sadness, darkness, and feelings of hopelessness and nihilism.  These are the things we can let go of, choose to leave behind, and NOT repeat or focus on.

That which we think about and focus upon most in our daily lives, will continue to manifest more and more in our lives.  The more intensely we focus upon these things, think about them, visualize them, and concentrate on them, the more quickly they manifest-through and by the ways we FEEL, as our feelings emit, project, and transmit a magnetic energy outwards, constantly drawing to us more of what we FEEL about.  We are CREATORS.  We are in charge of creating our personal reality.

“WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK ABOUT.” -Earl Nightingale

Our lives will be as simple or as complex as we choose for them to be.  WE are the ones that attach meanings to all that is happening.  The real secret is being intentional, and having clarity on EXACTLY what we want, that which we focus on, and what we choose to think about and FEEL about all day long.

Each day, the reset button is pushed.  It is a new opportunity for creation!  A day started with a routine that will prime our minds for the rest of the day is a great and helpful tool.

Today I will think about the exact life I want.  I will imagine starting over with nothing, and make a note of everything I want to become and gain in this life, before I die, and EXACTLY what I would need to do in order to acquire it.  If I haven’t already, I will make a personalized morning routine for myself and commit to completing it daily.  I will remember that doing this will empower me with more and more energy and momentum.

Jim Rohn, Earl Nightingale, and John Earl Shoaff, are three of my favorite coaches to listen to.  All three of these great men have passed on, but thankfully, each of them left us with recordings of their teachings.  Plug each of their names into the YouTube search engine and experience their teachings.  It is INCREDIBLY empowering.

Their teachings have empowered me to alter my mindset, beliefs, and personal philosophies, in positive, helpful, creative ways.  They have helped me to create a completely different life.  I listen to content from one of these chosen thought leaders, every day, as part of a personal, daily routine that I created, choose to adhere to, and have benefited by a GREAT deal.

Practicing what these coaches teach has given me the tools and momentum to heal from my past, as I have consistently altered the trajectory of my life experience, and completely changed the outcome of my destiny.  Not only have I benefited through their teachings, but so has everyone around me.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

While listening to an interview I came across a deep, thought-provoking question:  Does your thinking create your environment or does your environment create your thinking?

https://youtu.be/8Zxlos84aUU

We are all at different places in our own, personal, unique life journey.  We are all so different and beautifully unique and original.  Not one person EVER to exist on this earth has ever been EXACTLY the same.  There are simply too many variables in the equation of life, and too many possible choices that effect neural patterns, chemicals, hormones, and results, within the physical realm.  There are so many learning opportunities, experiences, and possibilities of perceptions.

We have our minds programmed FOR us when we are younger, then when we grow up, HOPEFULLY we then each re-program our minds with our repetitive, habitual thinking in completely more empowering and different ways.

Each of us are 100% responsible for the internal environment we create, manifest, attract, and manufacture, then project into this virtual matrix within which we exist for a human experience.

The incredible Ted talk, given by Dr. Joe Dispenza, shows an actual thought being captured on film.  The most important and beautiful thing learned from this presentation is that the neurons which are no longer being used to support OLD thought patterns are recruited by the NEW thought patterns, causing an actual physical reconstruction of our brains, resulting in CHANGE, as the old neural networks dwindle away and eventually atrophy and die.

WHAT WE FOCUS ON WE FEED.  WHAT WE PAY ATTENTION TO WE ENERGIZE.  WE ACTIVATE WHAT WE SPEND THE MOST TIME ON.

A change in thought patterns and beliefs results in a change in speaking and execution of new actions, which then results in a change in outcomes and results in our outer, physical world.  When we FEEL differently, we interrupt our patterns, and alter the magnetic and vibrational frequency we emit and transmit from within us, which alters what we then attract and repel within our personal physical reality.  EVERYTHING is feedback-data that informs us how to recalibrate, adjust, and begin again in a different way.

It is through a consistent change in thoughts alone, that we literally change and recreate our outer, physical realities!

One interview that features Dr. Joe Dispenza, is on the YouTube show called, IMPACT THEORY.  I hope you choose to take the time to seek out and listen to this interview, and if it benefits you in any way, I hope you choose to share it with others.  It was HUGELY impactful for me to discover the teachings of this empowering Doctor.

Dr. Joe Dispenza has also participated in other interviews, such as with Lewis Howes, on the YouTube show and podcast, The Lewis Howe’s show.

So many things about his interviews hit home for me.  I had to listen to them many more times, writing furiously and taking notes.  A lot of the things he says is what I have been thinking about and doing, since I started my life over in 2014, which has resulted in BEAUTIFUL outcomes within my mind and my life.  These teachings empowered me in the recreation of MY “SELF.”.  What he says, shares, and teaches, resonates with me on a very deep level.

At birth we have very little choice in our environment.  As we grow older, what we learned, our repetitive and habitual thinking, our psychology, our mindset, and our beliefs, all helps us create our environment.  By changing these things, we can change our environment.  It’s like asking, “What came first, the chicken or the egg?” or, “Does the mind effect the body, or is it the body which effect the mind?”  The truth I have discovered is that they DEVELOPED TOGETHER, all along.

I think it is MASSIVELY important for us to choose EXACTLY what we want, with CLARITY.  It is important for us to be intentional about each moment of each day of our lives.  Be being intentional, taking action, and creating a routine and habits we want for ourselves, we have the ability to change and improve our environment in ANY way that we want to.

LIFE happens anywhere and everywhere the environment is conducive to life.

SUCCESS happens anywhere and everywhere the environment is conducive to success.

LOVE happens anywhere and everywhere the environment is conducive to LOVE.

BE LOVE.  CREATE the environment conducive to what you want, AND IT WILL HAPPEN! 

If you were to start over today, with absolutely nothing but the wisdom, knowledge, skills, abilities, and vision you have acquired so far in this life, and recreate yourself in the best possible way, what would you do?  How would you go about doing it?  Which habits would you implement?  What consistent, daily routine would you execute?  Which beliefs would you choose to focus on?  What EXACTLY is required to create the environment and reality that you most desire?

TO KNOW, AND NOT TO DO, IS NOT TO KNOW.

 

Today I will take action.  I will execute on my own, personal plan for myself in my own RECREATION.  I will research meditation and visualization, and use them as tools to create the inner world and environment that I desire to manifest into my physical reality.

One of the most empowering ideas I have encountered has come to me through the late, great Earl Nightingale:  WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK ABOUT.  I listen to his recording THE STRANGEST SECRET, MANY times throughout each week as a reprogramming tool and a constant and appreciated reminder.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

It is challenging and fun to acquire things.  The important thing to remember is this:  Anything and everything we have and own can be taken from us at any time, but remembering who and what we are, and how we choose to express ourselves through this physical body, is ours forever.

I once heard this:

BEWARE OF WHAT YOU BECOME,

IN THE PURSUIT

OF WHAT YOU WANT.

This life is a blessing.  This body we inhabit is a tool, which provides the opportunity to express WHAT we are in this physical world as ONE, while working on the WHO we are as individualized and separate entities in different bodies, experiencing this life to the fullest extent, and learning important lessons along the way.

There is purpose behind everything that happens.  Life isn’t happening to us.  Life is happening for us.  The Universe is conspiring on our behalf each moment of every day. Everything is unfolding PERFECTLY, DESPITE us, our best efforts, or our need to think we are in control.

Each day is an opportunity to work hard, work smart, and earn things, but more importantly, each day is an opportunity for each of us to work hard and earn the right to contribute more than the day before, by acquiring and practicing the tools and skills that will naturally render us more capable of creation and contribution.

THE MORE CAPABLE WE ARE OF CREATION AND CONTRIBUTION, THE MORE WE EXPAND INTO WHO WE IDENTIFY AS.  THE MORE VALUE WE ADD TO THE LIVES OF OTHERS, THE MORE VALUABLE WE BECOME.

When I was young, I had MANY misperceptions that contributed to my belief system, by which I was programmed to think a certain way, make certain choices, and experience outcomes and results congruent with that belief system.  One of the beliefs I had was that I needed to do everything within my power to achieve perfection in this lifetime.  

Of course, I failed at perfection, and eventually became hopeless in this endeavor.  It wasn’t until I came across the idea that I could simply work towards personal progress, and always be improving, rather than working towards the impossible achievement of perfection, that I was able to begin loving, accepting, and appreciating myself.  Working towards lifelong progress gives me continued hope.  The idea of small, incremental improvements, every day for the rest of my life, is exciting as a possibility and actually empowers me, resulting in the generation of more and more energy and momentum.

This slight shift within my belief system set me up for success, empowering me with hope and a renewed energy and motivation.  It was then, after seeing the benefits that came from tweaking one belief, ever so slightly, that I began to question ALL of my beliefs, asking the questions:  Does this belief empower me to be creative, learn and grow, contribute to others at a higher level, and give me what I need to experience this life to the fullest extent, or is it hurting me, causing me to judge and criticize myself and others, destroying me and my relationships with others?  Does this belief help me to more fully express love and acceptance?  Is this belief HELPFUL or HURTFUL?

Today I will make sure I have a daily routine that is personally tailored for me, to accomplish my goals and become MORE of who I identify as, and a better version of me.  I will remember that knowledge and wisdom without action is useless and valueless, in the physical realm, and the acquisition of things.  I will take action, and keep doing what I am doing, always remembering WHAT I am, in order to keep being my best “self,” and incrementally improving every aspect of my life through personal progress.  By doing so, I know I will add value to others and become even more valuable. 

By expanding who I am, and expressing it the best I can through this physical body to the best of my ability, I know I am able to add more value and contribute more to others.

If something isn’t working for me, empowering me and rendering me capable of being my best self, I will displace and replace it with something that will.

The goodinthehead Beliefs Project was born out of necessity.  A slight shift in mindset, a small tweaking in a personal belief system, perception, or perspective, or a seemingly meaningless improvement in a personal philosophy, can completely alter the entire trajectory of this life experience, sending us into the depths of despair, darkness, and depression, or lifting us to greater heights, empowering and energizing us to create an environment, in which personal progress, expansion, growth, and wealth in EVERY area of our lives, is the ONLY possible outcome.

It has been said that a stupid man never learns from his mistakes, while a smart man eventually will.  A WISE man, however, will learn from the mistakes of others.

May we all choose to be wise throughout the rest of this human experience.

The goodinthehead Beliefs Project

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

“Ignorance is not bliss.  Ignorance is pain.” -Tony Robbins

While risk comes from not knowing what we are doing, WE HAVE TO TRY THINGS OUT AND EXPERIMENT WITH LIFE to learn how to better do things.  Life takes practice, and to live is to risk it all.

The concept of, “Minimizing Risk,” was given to me by a Physical Therapist.  She explained how it is important for all of us to remember to do things every day to minimize risk, just as it is also important NOT to do some things every day which will put our minds, bodies, and health at risk.

It is true in every area of life.  Finances, spirituality, emotions, our social standing, intelligence and personality-there are things we can do to minimize risk.  As we minimize risk, the possibility of opportunities for benefits increase exponentially.

Working out, walking, swimming, adhering to a daily morning routine, insisting upon a consistent sleep schedule, eating well, and meditating daily are all excellent ways to minimize risks and increase benefits.

As we learn from our “mistakes,” and from the “mistakes” of OTHERS through experimenting with life and learning through experiences, we learn what NOT to do NEXT time.  WE CONTINUOUSLY LEARN HOW TO BE BETTER CREATORS, ALWAYS PROJECTING A MORE ENJOYABLE PERSONAL REALITY THAT CONTRIBUTES GREATLY TO THE COLLECTIVE REALITY.

As we consistently work towards doing all we can to optimize our life experience, IN EVERY WAY, and practice doing this consistently, these things compound, and every good thing in our life increases.

What are things you can do, or things you can automate, implement, adopt, or put into place, in order to minimize risk in ALL areas of your life, and increase the possibility of benefits?  Boundaries, rules, schedules, routines, rituals, tips, tricks, life hacks, beliefs, personal philosophies, experiences, upgrading programming, up-leveling perspectives, and learning, are a few ways we minimize risk.  What are some yours?

Today I will think about, and write down a list of, how I am currently minimizing risk in my life.  Then I will think about, and write down, what I can do to improve upon what I am already doing, and create an even more beneficial, optimal, and enjoyable life for myself and for those around me.

The book, THE COMPOUND EFFECT, by Darren Hardy, is an incredible tool to use.  I highly recommend buying it, and reading or listening to it often.

Often, it is easy to find a free version of the audio copy of the book on YouTube.

Another great book comes to us through the late Jim Rohn.  It is called, 7 Strategies for Wealth and Happiness.

Two of my favorite books to use for upgrading HABITS are ATOMIC HABITS, by James Clear, and THE POWER OF HABIT, by Charles Duhigg.

https://youtu.be/QO-TPSNOhVU

https://youtu.be/xMnhUZ0DM6I

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

Consistency in Congruence Creates Credibility, Confidence, Competence, and Contribution.

Consistency creates a conversion and a convergence of circumstances which, when they all come together, cause exponentially increased personal growth.

When we are able to pick and choose the most important things in life, and focus and act upon those things with consistency, directing ALL our energy, time, attention, and focus towards ONLY those things, magic begins to happen.

CONSISTENCY CREATES

A CONVERSION AND CONVERGENCE

OF CIRCUMSTANCES

THAT WILL SERVE AND SAVE YOU.

When we are consistent, it seems like everything is unfolding so perfectly, and the stars always seem to align so perfectly that everything just works out for us.  In reality, through the habit and practice of consistency, we have become predictable, reliable, and dependable, and we naturally and easily attract all of the people, things, situations, and circumstances into our reality that makes it seem this way.

We call it synchronicity, but actually it is simply what we DESERVE.  We usually get what we have earned and deserve through our consistent practices, habits, and behaviors.

Think about it:  Would you rather work with someone who is consistent, who you always know what to expect from, who is predictable, reliable, and dependable, or would you prefer to work with someone who is inconsistent, unpredictable, not reliable, who you can’t depend upon and that you never know what to expect from?

If we don’t know what we want clearly and continuously enough to consistently work towards IT, how is IT supposed to consistently work towards US?

When there is congruence between what we say we are going to do and what we actually do, our confidence grows.  This is how we build credibility with ourselves.  When we keep promises to ourselves and others, we earn and deserve respect from ourselves and others, and our confidence and trust continues to grow.

Consistency creates credibility.  It creates credibility with ourselves and with others.  The more consistently we accomplish our goals and complete daily routines, the more confidence we gain in ourselves, and the more confidently people feel about us, the more they will trust us.  We see ourselves in a different light, and others look at us differently, too.  We are more accomplished, and more capable of adding value to our lives and to the lives of others.  We become more predictable and more comfortable to be around.  The energy we emit is different when we are consistent.

The more credibility and confidence we gain, the more competent we are.  As we DO more, we experience, learn, and become capable of contributing more.  Doors open up for us that have never been opened before and we are exposed to new experiences and new opportunities.  Circumstances converge.  The Universe conspires on our behalf more than ever before.

It is through consistency that synchronicity becomes commonplace in our lives,

because through consistency,

we become predictable, reliable, and dependable.

  Life is a beautiful struggle, full of pain, suffering, and the joy we experience through the overcoming of and expansion through these things.  As we work daily to improve consistency, congruence, credibility, competence, confidence, and our level of contribution, life seems to become easier because we are getting better at it, and things naturally become more beautiful, and more enjoyable.  We become more impactful and influential.  As we work hard, acquire and practice new skills, and learn more, we create a life with less suffering and more skill acquisition.

If we are to do but ONE thing, consistently, a great start would be to simply make the bed each morning after we crawl out of it to attack the day.

Today I will remember to be consistent.  Consistency in Congruence Creates Credibility, Confidence, Competence, and Contribution.  I will (if I haven’t already) set a daily routine in place, which will empower me to accomplish the goals I have for three years from now and I will keep at it.

For ideas on useful, effective, empowering, helpful daily practices, please see, or google, The goodinthehead Habit Hacking Challenge.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

Why would I share an article about ADDICTIONS around the Holiday Season?

Ram Dass, after he had done some INCREDIBLE amounts of inner work and personal growth, was known to have said, “IF YOU THINK YOU ARE SPIRITUALLY ENLIGHTENED, GO SPEND A WEEK WITH YOUR FAMILY.”

For many people, spending time around family triggers addictive patterns and behaviors.

Have you ever thought about why that is?

“SELF-AWARENESS LEADS TO SELF-ACTUALIZATION.” -Dr. Joe Dispenza

To becomes more self-aware is to up-level our ability to improve The Self.

May we ALL do some inner work that results in personal growth and expansion, leading to a higher quality of life and an AMAZING Holiday Season EVERY year of our lives, from now on.

Addictive behavior patterns usually stem from unchecked pain, often from things that happened to us earlier in life that resulted in us feeling unworthy, bad, stupid, useless, or like we are not enough.  Many times, the addictive patterns emerge and eventually take hold of our lives until they have consumed and destroyed us, along with everyone around us that we love.

What we are addicted to isn’t bad.  HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES BECAUSE WE ARE ADDICTED is the TRUE issue at hand.

If we are lucky, the pain caused by the addiction is greater than the pain we are knowingly or unknowingly trying to distract ourselves from, and so we decide to change the behaviors and replace the addictive patterns.

Dr. Gabor Mate, in a letter to Tim Ferriss, wrote:  “If you want to help people, ask why they are in so much pain that they are driven to escape from it through ultimately self-harming habits or substances.  Then support them in healing the trauma at the core of their addiction, a process that always starts with nonjudgmental curiosity and compassion.”

By changing the focus from the addictive pattern, habits, and behaviors, to caring about and becoming compassionately curious about the pain one is feeling and experiencing, we start a snowball effect.  We are deciding to take a step in an effectively helpful direction.  Addressing pain, and the effects of it, and the beliefs, trauma, and patterns caused by it, can be difficult and terrifying; however, if we don’t address the pain, we may end up hurting ourselves and those we love far worse than we were hurt in the first place.

This life is challenging enough without us making it even more challenging for ourselves.  Distractions are so easy to come by.  They are plentiful.  It is up to us to change our focus from harmful habits and a harmful lifestyle, to a helpful and healing lifestyle, one moment at a time, and one day at a time.  Small, incremental steps lead up the staircase to healing.  There is no escalator, and there is no elevator.  There is no quick, easy fix.

One of the most useful tools I have discovered and used for change is the book by James Clear, ATOMIC HABITS.

WE FEED WHAT WE FOCUS ON.

By changing our focus, we can change the trajectory of our outcomes in a way which will benefit ourselves and others.  By changing our focus from our efforts to outrun the pains of our past to the helpful awareness and acceptance of what was, and efforts towards personal growth, we will begin to exhibit the behaviors of someone less harmful and more empowered, and we will begin to contribute and add value, instead of hurting ourselves and others.

“EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN I GAVE UP HOPE OF A BETTER PAST.”

By adding value to others, we become more valuable.  When we are hurting and in pain, we tend to hurt others and cause others pain.  In so doing, we devalue ourselves and others.

Are you tired of hurting yet?  Is it time to start healing?  In order for things to change for us, WE MUST DECIDE TO CHANGE, and changing is a PERSONAL thing.  It is all up to us.  Nobody is coming to save us from our suffering.  We must learn to save ourselves.

Sometimes, replacing an unhealthy addiction for a useful one can be an EXCELLENT starting point!  Can you imagine if all of us addicts replaced our harmful, destructive addictions with the addiction and need for PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT?!

Reading the small, daily excerpt from the book, THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO, by Melody Beattie, has been one of the most helpful up-leveling tools I have ever discovered.

There are a few interviews I have come across regarding addictions, and there are helpful, empowering tools contained within these interviews on how to most effectively alter addictive patterns.  I would have loved this information years ago, in 2014, as I was overcoming addictions of my own and starting my life completely over.  This content is empathetic, kind, understanding, non-judgmental, and extremely helpful.  These interviews are on the YouTube show, IMPACT THEORY, and feature Mastin Kipp, and Doug Bopst.  To find them, simply go to the YouTube search engine, and type IMPACT THEORY alongside their names.

Today’s challenge for myself:

Today I will take a personal inventory of my life.  I will ask the question, “What causes me the most pain in my life and what do I do to address it?”  I will focus on building and creating a life in which I can effectively and successfully cope and deal with my suffering.  I will search for, find, and implement ways to do it, one moment at a time, one day at a time.

Addictions are usually not about anything but escaping pain through experiencing a temporary pleasure.  When we are able to learn to heal from our pain, there is no longer a need for escape, and our suffering dissipates.  Melody Beattie’s book, THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO, is a book which I have read daily, since 2014, as part of a consistent set of empowering rituals.  There is a paragraph for each day of the year.  Here is her incredible story, and the reason why she is such an effective addiction recovery specialist:

Dr. Gabor Mate is an addiction specialist, as well, and has VOLUMES of useful information and tools to try.  Just drop his name into the YouTube search engine, and start downloading all you need, just like Neo, on The Matrix!

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

Who have the MOST INFLUENTIAL FIGURES of ALL time, throughout history, been?  How have they influenced the masses throughout the centuries, and exactly how did they do it?

ANY positive influence, no matter how small the amount, is HUGE.  Having a meaningful impact, while contributing to others in any way, is significantly important.  The rewards that come from such actions are life-changing.  What we become in this lifetime, while having a positive influence on others, and doing something which will impact others in a positive manner, is the best reward of all.  As we add value to others, we become more valuable.

IMPACT 

COMES FROM

INFLUENCE

The more influential we choose to be, the more impact we will have on the people around us, and on the world.  Influence is a learnable, practicable SKILL, achieved through consistency of intelligent speech and action, as well as never-ending learning.

Is there someone in YOUR life, that could benefit from YOUR influence, and YOUR impact?  For me, as a parent, the most important people I have a desire to influence and impact in a positive manner, are my children and grandchildren.  The way I chose influence them, and the impact I have on THEIR lives, will spread through them, rippling out into the world through THEIR realities.  What an exciting opportunity!  I have found that the best way to impact them is simply through presence, love, time, and attention.

I once asked a highly influential Financial Advisor, Ferenc Toth, what his secret to success was.  He explained that he believes that we are the culmination of the books we read and the people we spend the majority of our time with.  We are absolutely in control of those two things, and if we feel like we aren’t, it is within our power to create the environment in which we can be.

Today I will think, say, and do the things needed in order to be a positive influence on others.  I will compliment instead of criticize, encourage instead of discourage, I will focus on the positive, and I will positively impact all those who are around me.

One of my favorite speakers on the subject in INFLUENCE, is Myles Munroe.

https://youtu.be/vCXINsMs1_Y

Another highly influential author and speaker I love to learn from and listen to is Robin Sharma.  His content is among the most important content I have come across, later in my life.

One of my favorite authors and one of the most influential people on this planet, in my opinion, is Brendon Burchard.  His book, HIGH PERFORMANCE HABITS, is among my favorite books I have ever read.

The book, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE, by Dale Carnegie, influenced and impacted my life for YEARS, teaching me, and empowering me to practice, the art and skill of being influential through understanding, empathy, kindness, compassion, and love.

https://youtu.be/YKAfKprBXQc

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

(While it took me over an hour to type all of this out, it literally took me the length of a shower to think these things.  I am mostly thankful for the daily habit and routine I have created of compiling a mental list of the things I am most thankful for in my life.  The paragraphs and sentences which are underlined are links to additional information pertaining to what is being written about, depending on whether or not you would like to dive deeper into the topic.)

Today, as I now choose to do every day while in the shower, immediately after I wake up, I reviewed the things I am most thankful for in my life.  I wanted to share that list with you:

I am thankful for the opportunity I will have today to go places and spend time with loved ones and family while we reconnect and eat good foods.

I am thankful for my family of origin-my mom and dad and my three sisters, who have spent a lifetime supporting me and loving me, even through times I didn’t feel worthy of their love, and even when I was completely incapable of loving myself.

I am thankful for my three sons and for the opportunity I have had to be their father.  I am thankful for their love, patience, and acceptance, as I have fumbled through a lifetime with them and done the best I could with what I have had.  I’m grateful for the many examples in my life and wisdom and knowledge shared by so many which has contributed to being a better father each day to these three boys.  I’m grateful for the bond and closeness we have, and for the opportunity each day brings to continue to strengthen our relationships, in any way, even though they are now older and doing their own things.

I am thankful for my wife and the incredible, loving, supportive, life and relationship we work hard to create and improve together, each and every day.  I am so thankful she is so strong and has experienced so much hardship and difficulty in this lifetime, which has made her even more beautiful and complete than if she had never experienced such things and had a much easier life.  I’m so thankful for the relationship she has with my children, her three amazing children, and our beautiful granddaughter.  I’m thankful that we can provide a home full of love and light and acceptance and kindness for all of our children to take part in and enjoy, every time they come over.  I’m thankful they all get along so well and treat each other with so much respect and love.  I am thankful for the love and respect our children give so freely and so abundantly to us.  I am especially thankful that our children work hard, every day, to take care of themselves and be self-sufficient, responsible, contributing members of society.  I’m thankful for the many reasons we have to be proud of our children and for the amazing lives they have created for themselves.  I’m especially thankful for the health and wealth they each enjoy, and for the mostly stress/problem-free lives we do all enjoy.

I’m thankful my wife is so wise.  I’m thankful she communicates so well with me and puts me in check and offers me an unlimited, truly appreciated, supply of perspective checks and reminders, each day, empowering me and helping me to work just a little harder every day to be a little better.

I’m thankful to be married to a woman who believes that throwing everything out on the table and being 100% and completely open, honest, transparent, and vulnerable, is beneficial and valuable.  I used to be so caught up in only revealing things that would make me seem better than I am so I could feel accepted and important to others, that I never realized the benefit of this.  I avoided the difficult, uncomfortable, conversations my whole life, whereas now, I realize the value of them all.  I’m thankful for a wife who has taught me so much through her example of BEING.  I am now able to be more, think more, say more, and do more.  I no longer avoid the uncomfortable or the difficult, but know that there is a beneficial purpose behind it all.

I am thankful for the healing that has taken place in my life.  I’m especially thankful for the physical healing which has transpired, in my back and in my brain.  I’m thankful that I have come across different diets, knowledge, wisdom, and medical research, which has taught me what I need to DO in order to help my body heal and to heal the discs between my vertebrae so I can walk and work again and support my family financially and feel like I am contributing instead of living the life of an unhealthy, incapable, victim of circumstance.  I’m incredibly thankful for the healing which has taken place in my brain, and that I was able to get off of all the “required” psychotropic medications that so many doctors prescribed to me over the years.  I’m grateful for the natural supplements and vitamins I learned about through others that these supplements have helped so much, and I am thankful for the healthier lifestyle I now live and the KETO lifestyle I have been able to experiment with and enjoy the HUGE benefits of.  

I am so thankful for the people I have been so blessed to know and connect with during this life experience.  It is because of their examples, inspiration, motivation, empowerment, caring attitudes, empathy, acceptance, and love, that I have been able to create a life so beautiful as the one I am now blessed to live.  I’m thankful to have heroes and mentors to look up to and model and mimic, in order to provide myself with an opportunity each day that I wake up, to improve the quality of my mind, and therefore improve the quality of my life.  I am thankful that as I learn how to do these things that I am able to contribute in any way to the lives of others.  I’m thankful for the belief that no matter how small the contribution, it is a step in the right direction.

I am thankful for the belief that EACH AND EVERY MOMENT DURING THIS LIFE EXPERIENCE, THE UNIVERSE IS CONSPIRING ON OUR BEHALF.  I realize that I may not always see how, but I have lived long enough on both sides of the track to now believe this to be true.

I am thankful for the exposure I have been blessed with to the heroes and mentors I have chosen to follow in every way possible.  I am thankful for the books that have been written and for the many avenues the internet has provided for self-improvement and self-development.  I know I am blessed to have awakened at this later stage in my life and been inspired by the Universe to choose the heroes and mentors I have chosen and to follow them on social media, in order to fill my mind and my life with their uplifting, empowering, incredibly helpful and inspiring, messages of the truth, light, and love that I want to focus on and re-focus upon each day.

I am incredibly thankful for the over-abundance in which we live because of where we live and who we are.  There are so many others in this world who will not have a very good or happy Thanksgiving this year because of their environment or circumstances.  It is my hope, wish, and prayer, that we will all look for opportunities this day and every day, recognize the opportunities we are presented with from the Universe, and take advantage of as many opportunities we possibly can to share this over-abundance with others in any way that we can.  We truly live in an over-abundance of food, things, love, empathy, and acceptance, when compared to so many others in this world.  I am thankful for the knowledge that no matter how bad I may think I have it, there are millions of people in this world that would do anything, give anything, just to have a taste of the beautiful life I am living every day.

I am thankful to have a job which enables me to afford the lifestyle I am now living.  I may be 46, and I may only make $15/hour, but the lifestyle I can afford, when compared to millions of others on this planet we inhabit, is abundant, lavish, and enjoyable.  I am so thankful to be blessed to earn this wage and to pay my taxes, and to be able to contribute to the betterment of others and this country by doing so.  I’m grateful to be someone, and to be in a position, where there is possibility for financial growth and contribution.

I’m thankful for the comfortable, warm, beautiful, bed we sleep in every night and for all the comforts we enjoy in a home we are so blessed to live in.  I am thankful for the ability we have to live in such comforts as warmth during the winter, cool air during the summer, a refrigerator always full of food, and running water.  We are so blessed.

I am thankful that we have more than one pair of shoes and a closet full of clothes to choose from each day.  There was a time in my life which lasted years when I was unable to buy new clothes or own more than one pair of shoes for myself or for my sons, but all the while, we always had every need met, and now I am thankful for the over-abundance of such things in our lives now.

I am thankful to have started completely over so many times with nothing.  I’m thankful to know that if I were to lose absolutely everything tomorrow, that I could easily start over and within a few, short years, have re-acquired everything I have now, because I have done this before.

I am thankful that I am thankful, grateful, positive, optimistic, and able to see the good in all things and in all people, after living a life of negativity, darkness, pessimism, criticism of myself and others, and hate.  I am thankful for the opportunity I have every day to practice the art of gratitude as a part of a daily routine or habit while in a shower in which I can use actual running water and items like a razor, soap, and shampoo.  I am thankful I am now able to realize and focus upon how blessed I am, rather than constantly focusing and re-focusing upon that which I do not have or enjoy, like I used to for the majority of my life, until that fateful day my dad gave me a copy of the book, The Secret, where I was, for the first time, truly introduced to practicing the art of gratitude and what the benefits could actually amount to over time.

I am thankful for this life and the opportunity for experiences and learning and progression and growth.  I am thankful for the opportunity for personal evolution and for the opportunity to inspire others to strive for the same.

I am especially thankful for Tim and Maggie Higgins and for the encouragement and empowerment they have provided me.  I am thankful for them allowing me to use space on their server for free to share www.goodinthehead.com with anyone in the world who wants to be a part of it.  I’m thankful that I have been able, at this late stage in life, to write and share content with others who may be searching for the answers I have been so blessed to come across during my searching.  I am thankful for such good, incredible, inspirational, strong, helpful, loving, kind, hard-working, contributing, giving, gracious, generous friends in my life.

I am thankful for the realization that there are so many incredible people who have learned tips, tricks, and tools, in life, that have helped them so much.  I’m thankful they share their knowledge and wisdom with the world, and that we are all able to compress decades of wisdom into a book, or video content, or little posts on the internet or on social media, in order to contribute to one another.

I am, more than anything else, thankful for all of the people I am so fortunate to choose to have and keep in my life, each and every day, in any way, who contribute to the beauty and joy and love I enjoy so much.  Thank you to those people, especially.

This is what I was able to run through my mind in the shower this morning.  I remember back, years ago, when I first tried the art of practicing gratitude.  As with everything, it gets progressively easier with practice.

The first time, I was done at being thankful for a place to live and to have my boys in my life.  Within two months, my mental list would last through my shower, eating breakfast, packing a lunch, and riding my bicycle six miles to work.  That which we focus upon tends to manifest itself in our lives more abundantly.  

So, again:

May your life be blessed with more than I am so blessed to enjoy and love.  I wish you all the best in your life journey.