Author: Pete Jones

New ways of thinking lead to new ways of speaking, new ways of doing things, and new ways of creating and living.  It is the level of quality of thinking we practice, that will determine the quality of our lives.  Our INNER lives dictate the quality of our OUTER lives.

At one point in my life, things went “wrong” for years.  I let life happen to me, and reacted to things the best I could.  I crossed my fingers, and hoped for the best, believing that there was nothing I could do to better my situation, unless my luck changed.  I didn’t believe I could control any aspect of my life.  The belief system I perceived to have grown up with and chose to keep all those years, gave birth to a fixed, weak mindset, and the quality of my life reflected that mindset.  Eventually, I realized I needed to make some changes.  It all started with a Jim Rohn quote.

“If you want things to get better for you, YOU have to get better.  If you want things to change for you, YOU have to change.”

I started with my mindset, and the beliefs and perspectives I was continuously, consistently practicing.

I WENT TO WORK ON MY MINDSET AND BELIEFS, AND THEN MY MINDSET AND BELIEFS WENT TO WORK ON ME.

I used to say, “Everything happens for a reason.”

The improved belief that was born from that was, “There is purpose in everything, and I decide what the purpose is.”

The improved belief that was eventually adopted from believing that for so long was, “There is a lesson and benefit that comes from EVERYTHING that happens in your life.  Life is not happening TO you.  Life is happening FOR you.”

To up-level and improve mindset, beliefs, and perspectives, is to up-level the quality and enjoyment of one’s life.

The Universe conspires on our behalf all day, every day.

What we believe, think about, and focus on matters a great deal.  It is through our beliefs that we attach meaning to EVERYTHING that happens.  We become what we think about.  We attract more of what we focus on.  It is who we become.  It will continuously become the quality of our lives.  When we create an inner environment of continuous growth and strength, our outer environment has no choice but to follow suit.

An improvement in our beliefs, what we think about, and what we focus on all day long, will lead to very noticeable, visible, measurable improvements in our lives.

Today I will look at and challenge my beliefs, what I think about all day long, and what I am choosing to focus on.  I will continuously make any improvements that are necessary for me to have and enjoy improvements in my life, and that empower me to add even more value to my life and to the lives of those around me.

An incredibly helpful exercise for belief and mindset improvement can be found at https://goodinthehead.com/goodinthehead-beliefs-project/

You can also just do an internet search for The goodinthehead Beliefs Project.

This is something I do on a regular basis, in order to check my beliefs, and make sure I am only using the beliefs that empower me to improve my life and the lives of those I love, and make the best use of my time to optimize everything I possibly can in my life, to the benefit of everyone around me, at all times.  Time is limited, and so the sooner, and the more often, this Beliefs Project is used, the better.

The Queen of Mastering Mindset herself, Carol Dweck, wrote the book, MINDSET.  I can’t recommend this book enough!  The earlier in life we apply the tools which she teaches regarding mindset, the more likely we are to experience a lasting sense of fulfillment and meaning in our everyday lives.  Here is an interview featuring Carol Dweck:

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

“Confront the difficult while it is still easy.”

-Tony Robbins

“Kill the monster while it is still a baby.”

-Tony Robbins

We all have problems, difficulties, and challenges in this life.  It is designed to be that way.  This life is sometimes a struggle because it is supposed to be one.  The Universe was designed from the beginning, to conspire on our behalf, and it knows, just as we do, that a life of constant ease breads weakness.  We need difficulties and struggles to learn to grow, adapt, and evolve.

My favorite NIKE shirt simply says:

IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE HARD.

When we choose to remain in our comfort zone, life has a way of rather violently shoving us out of that zone.  When we choose to remain stagnant for any amount of time, remaining satisfied in our comfort zone, relaxing more than even we know we should, the Universe does its job, and kicks our teeth in.

All throughout life, as we encounter these necessary and valuable difficulties and struggles, it is a great strategy to confront the difficult things in our lives when they are in the early stages, before they get out of hand and become unmanageable and overwhelming, and cause us undo, unnecessary stress.  As we make confronting the difficult things as soon as they arise a habitual part of our life experience, we get better and better at confronting and dealing with everything that will absolutely need to be addressed, preferably sooner rather than later.  This extremely beneficial habit then becomes an automated response, freeing up our time and energy for creation and enjoyment, rather than spending our time and energy focused on stress.

It comes down to SURVIVING or THRIVING.  The choice is OURS.  Even when the physical world is chaotic and terrifying, our INNER world we create can ALWAYS be a safe haven.

When there is a problem in our lives, I think it is useful to shine a spot light on it.  We will be amazed at how many people will come from every which way to help us, by offering advice, information, wisdom, and support.  Most of the time they have been where we are at, already experiencing what we are now confronting, and because they love us and don’t want to see us suffering the same way they did, they will do anything to help us cope with and alleviate the suffering and pain from our lives.

Pain happens in an instant, while SUFFERING comes to us from the meanings WE attach to the painful moments.  We suffer EVERY TIME we choose to re-live the painful moments in our minds.  Suffering ends WHEN WE END IT, through doing the difficult work of recognizing the benefits that came to us through the painful moments and by upgrading our perspectives and perceptions.

The people we choose to have in our lives can be good for us in this way; however, it is important we remember not to allow them to enable us and take over our lives and alleviate the problems for us, or the next time the same, or a similar problems arise, we will not have built up the skills, or the strength, to contend with and confront the problem as well as we need to be able to.  We can choose to insist on doing the hard work for ourselves, and accept guidance and support where it is freely given.  Instead of allowing others to save us, we can use their wisdom and support while we save ourselves.

Consistently confronting our own issues, problems, weaknesses, struggles, and difficulties, to the best of our abilities, allows us the opportunity to struggle and grow, consistently becoming a stronger, more beautiful version of ourselves.  As we learn of the tools available to be more of ourselves, it is important to share these tools with others who are seeking them.

The most beautiful, most memorable stories and memories of my life, and the situations that have happened that I consider to be miracles, have always involved others.  They haven’t ever happened when I was alone.  It is through our connecting, interacting, and bonding with others, learning from and sharing with them, that life gets better.

Confronting difficulties alone builds individual strength, but confronting difficulties with others builds collective strength, and together, so much more can be accomplished.  As Simon Sinek teaches:

TOGETHER IS BETTER

Today I will shine a spotlight on my problems, difficulties, or issues.  I will confront the difficult thing while it is still relatively easy, remembering that any problem I leave to grow will do just that.  I will be open to the support, wisdom, information, and experience of others, and I will provide the same to those who may be seeking it.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

“The only problem we have these days is a CULTURE PROBLEM.”

-Jessica Jackley

“WAR is a blessing, compared with NATIONAL DEGRADATION.”

-Andrew Jackson

The MAIN Social Dilemma, in my opinion, is the lack of UNITY and COOPERATION which is now so prevalent in today’s culture.  How do we re-unite?

What would the solution(s) be to a culture problem?  There are countless, limitless ways to solve such a broad, complex problem.  There are so many tools available.

The reason that solving a culture problem can be so difficult and complex, is that humans are involved, and truthfully, what is more complex than humans?  We each have a mind, a body, and a soul.  Ever-changing chemicals, hormones, genetics, opinions, beliefs, and everything about our minds, bodies, and souls, come into play, and every one of these things play an important role from moment to moment.  Humans are completely unique.  No two humans are exactly alike.  I believe this is the most beautiful thing about each of us, as individuals.

Exact alignment in a certain cause, or getting, and remaining, on the same page, can sometimes be a tremendous challenge, be it at work, in groups, at home, or in a love relationship.

Thr first step, in my opinion, to solving this culture problem:

Improving mindset.

The only thing stopping us from doing anything is our mindset.
-Peter Diamantis

Things like mindset, respect, personal integrity, honesty, dignity, development, improvement, clarity, presence, awareness, mindfulness, consistency, attitude, commitment, appreciation, compassion, unconditional love, character, kindness, generosity, love, empathy, momentum, focus, and especially discipline, are all things that will contribute to MASSIVE improvements in ANY culture.  ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE USUALLY FIRST LEARNED AND PRACTICED IN THE HOME, or at least they used to be.

There are three ways we can learn and experience ANY or ALL of these things:

1. First person point of view-by personal observation and experience.  In this way we develop through learning from our own, sometimes limited, inexperienced views, perspectives, and experiences.
2. Second person point of view-by observing and interacting with others.  This is how a story is told, where someone tells a story to another character using the word ‘you.’  We could be talking to an audience, which we can tell by the use of ‘you,’ ‘you’re,’ and ‘your.’  This is where we, as parents, tend to say, ‘You should,’ or ‘You ought to’ or ‘It would be better for you if…’
3. Third person point of view-by observing others interacting with each other.  These observations and this learning can be done in person, by watching others interact in real-time out in public, or in private, watching recorded videos.  This, I believe, is the most potentially dangerous and the most potentially valuable way to learn, depending entirely upon what the main focus is.

Our children now have unfettered, unlimited, constant, continuous access to ABSOLUTELY ANY CONTENT on the internet, AT ALL TIMES.  Here, in this electronic world, there are predators, which WILL prey upon the minds of young, unknowing, or inexperienced ones, programming them through specific, genius, seemingly harmless advertisements, quickly and efficiently leading them into addictions and a mass degradation  of the mind, and society as a whole.  Collectively, we are all at risk, and most of us don’t even realize it, yet.  We all know there is a MASSIVE amount of social problems, and that there are MANY contributing factors, but many of us don’t yet realize that a simple shift in mindset and beliefs, will then quickly shift the way we habitually think, speak, and act, thereby contributing to a MASSIVE improvement in the home, in our relationships, everywhere we go, and to society, as a whole.

Our decided, intentional focus will determine everything.  We become what we think about.  WE ATTRACT MORE OF WHAT WE THINK ABOUT INTO OUR PERSONAL REALITIES.  If we are programmed to focus on what others want us to think about, we are allowing them control over our most precious and valuable tool-OUR MINDS.

It all starts with us, as individuals.  Our level of presence and awareness ought to be just that-OURS.  We must stand guard at the door of our minds.  We must fight for a better future, through living a better present.  Living each moment INTENTIONALLY, is a choice.  We are not meant to be victims of life, but rather VICTORIOUS CREATORS OF IT.  It all starts in our mind, then spreads outward to those we love, causing endless ripple effects throughout society.  Personally, first, and then TOGETHER, we can address this culture problem, through focusing on the solutions, and taking action.

Anywhere there are problems, there are opportunities.  Solutions are valuable, and in high demand.

Today I will think of ways I can implement an improvement in my own mindset into my daily routine, so that I can habituate consistent, empowering, helpful tools, in order to own and create my present reality, and design a future in alignment with EXACTLY WHAT I WANT, rather than what others want for me, which benefits them, more than it does me.

The documentary, The Social Dilemma, explains how social programming works, and why it works so well.

Jessica Jackley has many incredible ideas on how we can truly live a life of meaning and impact, both personally, and collectively.  I first encountered her ideas on creating and acting upon a meaningful, fulfilling MISSION, on the YouTube show, Impact Theory.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

When we consistently do our best, our best consistently gets better.

This life was never meant to be about perfection.  This life is all about PROGRESS.  “Perfect” individuals never learn or grow-they just learn how to act, deceive, lie, and make others look and feel less than.

As children, most of us are told to always do our best.  This is great advice!  If we continuously do our best, no matter what it is that we are doing, we will continue to grow and improve into a progressively better, ever-expanding version of our self.  We will add value to our lives and the lives of those around us.  In so doing, life becomes even more meaningful and fulfilling.

Anything worth thinking is worth thinking well.

Anything worth saying is worth saying well.

Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

In the book, THE FOUR AGREEMENTS, by don Miguel Ruiz, the last of the four agreements is, ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.  This book explains how and why, with the wisdom of generations of wise, knowing people.  I highly recommend this book.

OUR BEST IS ALWAYS GOOD ENOUGH.

Today I will think my best thoughts, speak my best words, and do my best at everything I do.  I will remember that as I consistently do my best, my best consistently gets better.

One of the most empowering interviews I have ever seen was given by Tom Bilyeu, on his YouTube show, Impact Theory.  It featured Carol Dweck.  Her book, MINDSET, is one of my favorite books of all time.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

“When you complain, nobody wants to help you.” -Stephen Hawking

Instead of focusing on the negative and the lack we recognize in our lives, it is incredibly helpful and empowering when we choose to focus on all of the things that are going right.  When we choose to be a part of the solution, instead of part of the problem, miracles begin to happen.  It is important that we focus on and think about all that we have in our lives to be grateful for.  When we do this on a regular, consistent, constant basis, all the lack, the negative, and the things we don’t like or enjoy, either fall into place, or fall out of our lives completely.

We can find the strength, tools, wisdom, and knowledge, and then practice building the character and creating the new habits, to focus on EXACTLY what we DO want, and what is truly important to us in our lives.  We become what we think about.  We attract more and more of what we think about into our lives.

Uplift others with your positivity and habitual focus, and you will add value to their lives.  People will want you around.  Good people, of high quality and intention, will choose to be around you more and more.  Life will be more meaningful and fulfilling when this happens.

BE THE SOLUTION, not the problem.

Today I will focus on the positive and the things I have to be grateful for in my life.  I will add the practice of gratitude and making a mental list of all I have to be grateful for into my own daily routine, first thing, each day.  I will practice gratitude and appreciation, each and every time I find myself complaining throughout the day.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

I was told the story of the fleas many years ago by a good friend in Athens, Greece.  He explained that if you were to somehow acquire a jar of fleas, you could try a little experiment:

Put the fleas in a glass jar.  Cover it with a lid, and then put a small flame under it.  As things become hot and uncomfortable for them where the flame is, at the bottom of the jar, the fleas will jump away from the heat and you will begin to hear them as they hit the lid-but only for a short period.  You see, the fleas learn that the lid also causes discomfort as their little heads hit it, and so they jump just high enough and just often enough to evade the discomfort of the heat at the bottom of the glass, and the pain of the lid at the top of the glass.  They learn to avoid discomfort.

The crazy thing about this little experiment is that if you take off the lid, the fleas will go on jumping that same height, assuming that the flames will always be there, and that so will that lid.  The circumstances of life and their environments have programmed their behaviors.  They become conditioned to accept certain limitations and see things as permanent.  They are resigned to the belief that they can’t escape, and that their fate has been decided.  All they would have to do is try one more time to jump out of the glass jar and the whole world would be opened unto them, but they have been conditioned, trained, and programmed, to believe it is impossible to escape the fate to which they have allowed themselves to be resigned to.

How many times in our lives have we gone through something similar to this and still behave in the same, exact manner?

We humans sometimes adopt similar behaviors in our lives.  We avoid pain and prefer pleasure.  Common sense, right?  NO ONE likes to suffer.

There are other ways to BE.  There are actually some people who choose to literally cause themselves pain and suffering to become stronger, faster, and smarter.  Think of Marines, or Navy Seals.  Think of entrepreneurs.  They don’t compare themselves to others.  They strive to be the BEST version of themselves, ALWAYS, knowing that as they consistently do their best, their best consistently gets better.  THEY HAVE NO LID.  If there is a lid, just like a stone carver hitting the same, exact spot HUNDREDS of times, knowing that just ONE MORE TIME may be the required, accumulated amount of pressure needed for the desired break, THEY KEEP TRYING.  They don’t conform, or desire to fit into a box that the majority of people are comfortable in.  Instead, they lean into what is uncomfortable and unknown, knowing and having faith that on the other side of this discomfort or pain is the possibility of growth, or strength, all the while being fully aware of the chance they get hurt, die, or experience failure.

Growth-minded individuals that seek limitless expansion choose only to compare themselves to themselves, and who they were yesterday.  They seek out growth opportunities.  They push themselves.  They question everything.  They keep trying to jump through that glass ceiling until they break through it or it has been removed.  

WE ARE ALL PROGRAMMED AND TAUGHT FEOM BIRTH TO CONFORM AND FIT INTO A TINY GLASS BOX, AND TO ONLY OPERATE FROM WITHIN THESE CONFINES.  THE TRUTH IS, THERE IS NO BOX.

As human beings, we are all blessed with the strength, opportunities, and abilities to do and be anything we have the courage to do and be.

Most of us choose to continuously exist in a box or a comfort zone, and we have learned to avoid pain and pursue pleasure.  We find what works for us, and what is comfortable.  There is nothing wrong with this.  Some desire to think and live outside the box, choosing to feel uncomfortable, seeking something else.  There is nothing wrong with this, either.  They are simply different ways of creating a personal reality.

The beauty of this life, and the beauty of being humans, is that we all have the dignity of choice.   If ever the threat exists that this is taken from us, WE MUST FIGHT TO KEEP IT.

Acceptance of, encouraging and respecting the journey of others, and allowing them the dignity of choice, is sometimes uncomfortable for us.  Why?  Is it because we think they should think, speak, and behave like us?

Others want to experiment with different experiences, and we are sometimes uncomfortable with it.  Why?  They want to venture out and explore the possibilities and find something better for themselves, and we desire to hold them back.  Why?  Is it some in-born, innate, programmed desire to protect them, or are we afraid they will expose us as lacking the courage they have?  What is it that causes us to judge and criticize others for experimenting with different lifestyles or possibilities that we haven’t even tried?

Today I will think of the story of the fleas and I will ask myself, “What is MY glass ceiling?”  Am I holding myself back from experiencing my full potential in any way?  Am I actively holding anyone else back in any way?  If so, how?  What would I need to do to experience a breakthrough?

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

Happiness is a choice.  When we wake up, choose to be happy no matter what, then follow through with actions we are able to take in order to be happy throughout the day, no matter what may happen to us, the day usually goes well.  We tend to feel better when we take as much control as possible over the things we can do, and simply do the very best we are capable of doing, rather than allowing the distracting situations, people, and circumstances throughout the day take control of us by affecting our inner, emotional state.

At any time, of any day, we are capable of taking a moment to be silent, check in, re-ground, and continue on, living each moment intentionally, and on purpose.  Happiness doesn’t come from people, places, or things.  It only comes from within.  We sometimes choose to assign meanings and definitions to interactions, relationships, places, and things, which distract us, eroding away at and destroying contentedness and peace.  We can choose, instead, to be happy in the present moment.  We can choose to be peaceful in the here and now.  We can choose this every moment, one moment at a time.

EACH DAY IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO PRACTICE PEACE, HAPPINESS, AND CONTENTMENT AMIDST THE TURMOIL, CHAOS, AND DISTRACTIONS OF THIS LIFE.

One of the most incredible books I have come across that has empowered me to practice the skill of presence, is the book, THE POWER OF NOW, by Eckhart Tolle.  An audio version can be found on YouTube FOR FREE.

Storms may rage, armies may rise to conspire against us, but still, we can be at peace and contentment within.  The choice is ours.  We don’t have to overreact to every situation!  That, too, is a choice, which may have been practiced so much that it has become a habit, or a chemical, hormonal, and emotional addiction which our body and brain has accepted as its emotional and physical baseline.  With practice, we can change this.  Or, we can choose to keep it as it is.  We are not victims.  The choice is OURS.

Many times, unexpected things arise in our lives.  Some of these things can be incredibly disruptive, distracting, and devastating, depending upon how we choose to react, how we choose to see it all, and the definitions and meanings we choose to attach to what happened.  It is entirely up to us how we react to each of these things.  If the first thought is made into a habit to react with, “No matter what happens I am in control of my happiness. I am the composer of my own inner harmony.  Nobody can take that away from me,” most of the time we will be able to react better, feel better, and have better outcomes throughout our day.

No matter what happens I am in control of my happiness. I am the composer of my own inner harmony.  My happiness and contentment is MY responsibility.

Sometimes people may try to control or manipulate our emotions.  Who cares why they do it-the important thing is to remember that WE can learn to control OURSELVES, and stop allowing others in and giving them control over our lives, our decisions, and our emotions.  If we consistently respond to any negative, manipulative, controlling behavior with, “I am in control of my happiness and my emotions.  You are not,” and we practice it and do it consistently until it becomes easy, miracles happen.  WE are the creators of our lives.  WE manifest of our destinies.  WE create and cultivate ALL of it.

Have you ever wondered why sometimes a bad day keeps getting worse and a good day keeps getting better?  The things we habitually think, say, and do, as soon as we wake up, tend to create a baseline mood at the start of our day, gain traction, and then BUILD MOMENTUM.  What we choose to repeatedly focus on, during the first moments of our day, determines the direction of the momentum of the ENTIRE REST OF THE DAY.

Our mood tends to dictate the energy we put out and project into the world, the way we continue to think, the way we speak to and treat others, and the way our day will go.  The only thing we can truly control is our self, our reactions, and our own thoughts, words, and actions.

There are many examples of people throughout history who faced horrific tragedies and losses, but chose to remain happy.  Viktor Frankl is a great example of this.  How did he go through all that he did and yet flourish emotionally throughout his life?  His book, MANS SEARCH FOR MEANING is worth looking into.  The audio version can be found on YouTube FOR FREE.

One thing that helps the happy feeling stay or quickly return throughout the day is to regularly think of what we have in our lives at the current moment to be grateful and appreciative for.  There will always be something, and if we are able to habitually shift our minds back to that which we have already to be grateful and appreciative for, that which we focus on will change.  The energy we emit will improve.  The energy that is returned back to us will improve.  A daily, habitual gratitude practice, used as part of a morning routine, sets the tone and decides the momentum FOR THE ENTIRE REST OF THE DAY.

Something I love to do when I want to improve my mood and up-regulate my emotions is go to a folder on my phone with all of the pictures and videos I love most that make me feel the happiest.  This folder consists of pictures and videos of my loved ones, children, and grandchildren.

Energy is defined as a vibrational frequency which contains information.  The quality of this information, and the level of vibrational frequency we emit, THAT CREATES OUR PERSONAL REALITY IN EVERY MOMENT, depends entirely upon the quality of our thoughts and feelings.

Today I will choose to be happy, no matter what happens.  If I can only do it for a little while, I will remember that practice and repetition begets MASTERY, and that all I need to require of myself is that I do my very best.  I will remember that this life is about progress, not perfection, and that as I consistently do my best, my best will consistently get better.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

I have realized a few things about my relationships over the years:

1-The one common denominator in all of my “failed” relationships is me.  This doesn’t mean I am a failure.  To me it now means I had some things I needed to work on, more skills I needed to acquire, and lessons I needed to learn, which could only come to me through these people.  Without these relationships, I never would have gained a thing.  Failure is an event, not a person, and I no longer consider any past relationship a failure.  Instead, I consider each one a success.  I am grateful for each and every relationship I have had over the years, and for the incredible lessons learned, all along the way.

2-There was at least one good lesson, or valuable life acquisition, which came from each one of these relationships.  I no longer consider any of them, “failures.”  Instead, I think of these relationships as valuable, necessary life steps, opportunities for growth, and a time to acquire and practice new skills.  ALL of these experiences have helped and empowered me to co-create more meaningful, enjoyable, progressively upgrading, beautiful relationships, as time continues to unfold.  My life, and each relationship, interaction, and connection I now have and enjoy is far more incredible than they would have been had I not had these experiences.

Years ago, after my first divorce, I dated a woman who had two daughters.  I was a newly single dad with three sons.  The seven of us had fun for the brief time we spent together.

There were two good things that came from dating this woman with the two daughters all those years ago:

1. The best cheese cake bite recipe in the world.
2. The question she would ask at the end of each day: “What was your favorite part of today?”

This question, asked at the end of each day, to each of the kids and adults present, was a great way to wrap up any day.  Without fail, she would ask it of everyone, every day.  She said it was something she got from her mother.

The reason I now think it was such a great thing is because it changes and redirects ones focus to the positive.  There are no other options-to answer the question, you have to think of something good and enjoyable about the day.  Over time, with consistency, it literally reprograms the mind to seek out and see ONLY the good in things.  It is an especially great question to ask at the dinner table each night.  Within this habitual practice is the gift of ALWAYS finding good, no matter the outward circumstances we are experiencing.

It is like practicing gratitude, first thing in the morning each day.  When we think the same way, or repeat thoughts, words, and actions, they become habitual.  Because of neuroplasticity, the neurons in our brains that fire together wire together.  Our brains literally undergo a physical, chemical, and hormonal transformation, through thought alone!  We literally become changed through habitual positivity and gratitude.  Our mental, emotional, physical, chemical, and hormonal makeup is improved, over time, when we consistently practice positivity and gratitude.

For those parents wishing to reconnect with their children, of any age, starting or restarting the habit of a nightly dinner with no technology and this question can eventually become a time of the day that everyone looks forward to, sometimes without even realizing it.  The conversations that are inspired by this question and this practice are hilarious, fun, and sometimes serious, but always worth it.  It can become the greatest gift we give ourselves and our children in this world of so many distractions and potentially damaging programs.

Today, I will think back to each relationship I have had over the years, reviewing what good things have come from each one, empowering me to have a much more enjoyable life now, than I would have had without those experiences.  I will also try asking the questions of myself and those around me, “What was your favorite part of today?  What did you love about today?  What do you appreciate MOST about YOURSELF today?”

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

When I was a young boy, I sometimes visited the snow with family or friends.  Inevitably, we would end up in a snowball fight.  It was important to create an arsenal of snowballs.  The more, the better, and the quality of the snowball was important, too.

Life can be like that, too.  It may sometimes seem like a war, but little successes and little wins are like having an arsenal of snowballs, and empower us with the momentum we need to keep going.

Sometimes, while playing in the snow, we would make a snowball at the top of a hill.  One of us would start the snowball rolling down the hill.  Something amazing would happen.  As it rolled down the hill, it would pick up momentum and start to grow bigger!  As it got bigger it also got heavier, and so more and more snow would stick to it, and it would roll down the hill faster and faster, continuously gaining momentum and weight.  Some of those little snowballs would turn into huge, powerful, and sometimes dangerous, unstoppable, rolling mounds of snow.  Some of them were capable of eventually get as big as a car as they rolled down the bigger hills.  It was incredible to watch.

I sometimes think about how, in life, each step towards personal progress or any little, seemingly meaningless improvement, is like a snowflake falling down.  Enough of those daily, little, consistent things we do can adds up over time, and create a lot of snow.

Enough snow, falling in just the right place, can cause an avalanche.  Our daily, habitual practices can do the same!

Eventually, in life, we can begin making snowballs to add to our own, personal snowball arsenal.  Some of these snowballs can be taken to the top of a hill and rolled down.  They have the potential and ability to become something very large, powerful, unstoppable, and dangerous, just like some of the skills we acquire throughout our lives.  We can grow our skills, knowledge, intelligence, spirit, finances, or whatever else we choose to work on, exponentially.

Albert Einstein said, “Compounding interest is the eighth wonder of the world.”  I don’t think he was just talking about money.  The harder we work at it and the more time we put into it, whatever IT is, the more it becomes like that huge, powerful, rolling ball of snow, crashing down the hill of life.  Some hills are longer than others, just like some lives are longer than others.  Either way, MOMENTUM MATTERS.

CONSISTENCY COMPOUNDS.

Consistency creates a conversion and a convergence of circumstances that will serve and save us, and those we love.

Consistency is key.  It is the difference between a little growth and exponential growth.

Unstoppable is the human spirit.  Unknown is our potential.  Vast and unlimited are our opportunities for expansion.  Limitless are our possibilities for creation.

Are you ready for a snowball fight?  If not, what EXACTLY would you need to do to get that way?  Jay Shetty teaches that we cannot BE what we cannot SEE.  We can learn so much through observing others, and then envisioning ourselves doing the same or similar things.  If we are able to create a time and space each day, spent in quiet reflection, where we envision and visualize the EXACT life we want to live and experience in just 5 short years, it might just happen.  DREAM BIG.

Today I will think on what I will do daily and consistently, to work on my own personal arsenal of snowballs for the fight ahead, and decide upon which ones I will start rolling down the hill of life.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

There is no such thing as an overnight success.  The opposite is also true.  There is no such thing as an overnight failure.

It’s all the little things along the way that don’t seem to matter that truly matter the most.  It is the morning routine we adopt that is so difficult but so important to do.  It’s waking up just a little earlier to work on something, to study, to exercise, or to review goals.  It’s setting an alarm throughout the day to read positive quotes, do breathing exercises, or make a phone call to a creditor we don’t want to make.  OR, it is constantly, consistently, neglecting these things until they compile, compound, and become massively overwhelming.  Each of us chooses what to focus on all day long until it becomes a habit.

It is the lack of intentional discipline that slowly kills off the soul the quickest.  When we are conscious of the fact that we are not doing our very best at something, and we consciously continue to choose the same actions, we suffer.  We are diminished, we lose credibility with ourselves, we become depleted of energy, and our souls shrink, only by our own volition.

All of the difficulties and problems in our lives make us stronger.  When we become complacent or comfortable, we stop growing.  We can choose to wait around for life to throw problems at us and then grow because of them or we can choose to do things that will continuously force us, motivate us, and inspire us towards personal growth.  Then, when life throws problems at us, we are more prepared to respond in different, more effective ways than we would have, had we not already grown and been prepared to face it all.

The trees which live in harsh environments, that experience high winds, and that live through storms that seem to continuously conspire against them, tend to grow stronger, develop deeper roots, which reach out for the roots of other trees around them for added support.  As humans, if we learn to do the same, we tend to live more meaningful, connected, fulfilling, purpose-filled lives, and we thrive, instead of merely surviving.

We are always progressing, regressing, or sleeping.

Reminder to self:  It’s time to wake up, stop hurting, begin healing, and design your own personal progression plan.  Lean into what lights you up and energizes you.  Move away from the people, situations, circumstances, and things, which steal away your energy and shrinks your soul by choosing to continuously focus on that which you DO want to create and experience more of in your life.  It is time to expand, grow, and evolve.

Are you ready?  If not now, when?  Our small, daily disciplines add up, compile, compound and build us up, continuously, consistently strengthening us, and expanding our souls OR our small, daily decisions or practices of neglect, destroys our confidence, leaving us aware that we didn’t do our very best, and shrinking our souls, draining us of energy and ambition.  Our feelings of worthiness or UNWORTHINESS are EARNED, and we can only create a life we feel worthy of because subconsciously, most people will self-sabotage according to their personal feelings of worthiness.

WE CAN NOT STOP MOMENTUM, BUT WE CAN CONTROL THE DIRECTION OF MOMENTUM.

WHEN WE WIN THE MORNING, WE WIN THE ENTIRE DAY.  IT IS ALL ABOUT MOMENTUM.

Today I will take a good look at all of the little things I do throughout the day.  I will take pride in them and add a few more things to my daily routine, if needed, that I know I need to do in order to further my own, personal progress.  I will force myself out of my comfort zone and begin to grow and expand, before life even has a chance to do it for me.  I will prepare myself for a better life by learning how to do better, AND THEN DOING IT.

“The quality of our lives often depends upon the quality of our habits.”

Trust me-you’ll want to listen to Atomic Habits, by James Clear. 🙌🔥👌

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.