Author: Pete Jones

Sometimes, making good choices for our self, and focusing on doing the right thing for our self in all situations, is misconceived as being selfish.  People may even tell us that we are being selfish in order to manipulate or control us.  That’s okay.  Be, “selfish.”

Years ago, after suffering a devastating loss that left me hopeless, depressed, shattered, and even suicidal, my sister woke me up from my depressed slumber with these words:  “I’m going to tell you something a lady at work told me during one of my most difficult periods of life:  If you are okay, your kids will be okay.”  She explained I am a glass, and as long as I am doing things to fill this glass to the point of overflowing, each and every day, it would spill over into the lives of my children.  I decided, that very day, to create better daily habits, practice self-care, and to overflow in a positive, helpful, empowering way, into the lives of my children.  It made me realize how closely my children were observing me, my reactions, and every decision I was making, or not making.

Sometimes, we find ourselves in a bad way.  The only thing we are capable of working towards is just being, “okay.”  But when we make it to being okay, we can then work towards being better than okay, feeling better each day, slowly progressing, growing, improving, expanding, and evolving.  This, I believe, is the whole point to life!  The Universe was designed from the beginning to conspire on our behalf, and we are knocked down, bruised, battered, bleeding, and torn to pieces, only to heal, come back stronger, better, and wiser because of the experiences.  We are not here to merely survive.

It’s going to be okay.  And then it is going to be better than okay.  Keep going!  Keep fighting.  That is the whole point.  We are all getting better as we do.  When we learn more, we know more, then we do more, which empowers us to be capable of enjoying life more.  We suffer for a purpose.  It makes us stronger, better, and wiser, and offers us the opportunity to share our new knowledge with others, who can choose to learn from us, or to learn the hard lessons for themselves.  There is purpose in everything.

We can choose to make the decision to spend MOST of our time around people who inspire us, allow us, and expect us to be our best self.  

Not everyone is ready for a healthy, deep, purpose-filled, meaningful, fulfilling, give-and-take relationship.  If we eliminate the people from our lives who are constantly choosing to judge, criticize, condemn, gossip, hate, and who can’t control their anger, miracles will happen.  It matters a great deal WHAT we, and others, focus on and talk about the most.

Through their subject matter, and what comes out of their mouths, others will tell us everything we need to know about their beliefs, their mindset, and the lives they are currently creating.  Because we are the culmination of the books we read, the content we consistently allow into our minds, and the people we spend the most time with, it is incredibly important who we choose to spend the majority of our time with.  Is what they speak of, are focusing on, and constantly discussing empowering or dis-empowering?  Is it in alignment with the life we are dreaming of and working towards?  Is it helpful, or harmful?

IT IS OKAY TO WALK AWAY FROM TOXICITY.

IT IS OKAY TO LOVE SOME PEOPLE FROM AFAR.

We can choose to remember to focus our time and energy ONLY on the people who inspire us to be our best selves.  In turn, we can do our best, at all times, to help and inspire others to be their best selves.

Sometimes, we just need to do something differently, in order to create different results.  The definition of insanity is to continuously do the same things, over and over, while expecting a different result.

I think it is important to be careful to not fall prey to or become victims of the, “Savior Complex,” running around trying to save and help everyone, all the while, neglecting ourselves, believing that it is selfless and valuable to make such sacrifices.  The only person we truly have control over is our self.  We all have to learn, sooner or later, that we can only change and save our self.  Helping others is important, but enabling others, by doing for them what they need to learn to do for themselves, helps no one, and eventually causes more harm than good.

Today, I will be loyal to the people who are loyal to me.  I won’t waste time with people who are only loyal to themselves, and who choose to be incapable of helping themselves, keeping their own cup empty and always expecting me to fill it for them.  I will make a list of self-care habits I can practice daily, in order to fill my inner lantern will the fuel I need to shine brightly, to keep my glass filled and to the point of overflowing, and remember that if I do so, I will be of great benefit to those around me, naturally and easily.  Today and every day, I will be, “selfish,” remembering that the better my mental and physical health is, the more value I am capable of adding to others.

One of the most empowering tools I have come across is the book by Melody Beattie, THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO.  It is all about self-care, healing, creating healthy and effective boundaries, and repairing oneself.  Be reading just a few minutes from this book each day, as part of a consistent, daily routine, anyone can learn the tools needed to improve their mind, and when we improve our mindset, beliefs, and personal philosophies, EVERY THING ELSE IN LIFE IMPROVES.  If these are benefits you would like to enjoy, order it or buy it today, and begin a beautiful healing journey of your own.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

I think it is extremely important to listen to our promptings that come from within us and ACT UPON THEM IMMEDIATELY.

Why?

I believe that when we do, we program our minds and souls to listen on a deeper level to our promptings, each and every time we act upon them.  Just like with ANYTHING, the more we practice this skill, the better we get at it.

Listening to our intuitive voice is a skill that will bless our lives, and the lives of those around us.

I also believe that when we do NOT listen to these promptings and act upon them immediately, we throw up a wall between ourselves and the Universe, God, or Source Energy, and become closed off, or even close-minded, and become undeserving of further promptings.

Listening to the promptings of our intuitive voice is a highly useful, important, and practicable skill.

Have you ever had a strong prompting to call a friend?  I did, once, only to find out I called too late to talk to him, but I did find out that his funeral was the very next day.

Have you ever had a prompting to go a different, longer route home from work, only to find out there was an accident you most likely would have been involved in?

Promptings come at us all day, every day.  It is up to us to consistently create a quiet time for ourselves each day and learn to be open to new possibilities and to learn to listen. 

An excellent way to do this is to wake up just a little earlier for quiet, alone time, and take advantage of it through prayer and/or mediation, writing, a walk in nature, or simply for silent time alone.  Most people laugh at the idea of waking up earlier-I certainly did for years, but done daily and consistently, it becomes a beloved time of valuable introspection, quiet solitude, and inner growth.  When we do hard things consistently, we build confidence and credibility with ourselves, and we become stronger and less afraid of doing OTHER things we consider to be hard.

One of the greatest tools I have discovered to continuously and consistently receive inspiration and promptings, recognize them for what they are, and act upon them, has been to carry around a small, pocket-sized notebook and a pen, and when something enters my mind that may benefit me or someone else in ANY way, I immediately write it down.  I have filled many such books, and now constantly look for and seek out promptings from the Universe, through all that is, at all times.

Something my mother told me once, that really stuck with me is that prayer is a one-way communication from us to God or the Universe, during which we express gratitude and appreciation, and ask for what we want for ourselves and others.  Meditation is a one-way communication from God or the Universe to us, during which time we are prompted and inspired to take immediate action which, if we do, will help, serve, and empower us and others, in the exact ways we need.  Meditation carries with it the answers to our prayers.

Today I will take a few minutes to create a quiet time for myself.  I’ll just enjoy the peace and silence.  I’ll be open and I will listen, even if nothing comes to me.

The book that inspired me to begin a meditative practice which changed me forever, and completely altered the trajectory of my existence in this physical realm is, STRESS LESS, ACCOMPLISH MORE.  For years I fought against the practice of meditation, being overwhelmed by the many fears I had surrounding it, and afraid to “mess it up,” or “do it incorrectly,” but the author of this book, Emily Fletcher, inspired me to try it out.  I am so grateful I did.  I first learned about her and this incredibly helpful and empowering book she wrote from a YouTube interview on the show, Health Theory.

The process she describes, and the benefits that come from consistent practice of this process, only takes 15 minutes!

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

Erin Ruecklies and my wife, Carla Jones

Paul Harvey used to be a radio commentator back in the day, who had a segment called, “And now, for the rest of the story!”  He had a voice that was entertaining to listen to, and he used to put out inspirational, informational, educational, and motivational content over the radio, consistently and daily.  I loved listening to it as a little boy.

And now, for the rest of the story about Erin:

A few months before her death, during a family dinner, Erin and her husband approached me and my wife.   (Her death was a total freak accident that could have literally happened to anyone.  Erin had gotten into a fender bender, and after getting out of the car to speak to the other driver, she was struck by another vehicle.  The driver wasn’t paying attention.  That driver then fled the scene, leaving her two sons and the older son’s girlfriend and a few observers to deal with the aftermath.)  We were throwing a little house-warming party for my wife’s daughter when she approached us.  We were so proud of my wife’s daughter and her boyfriend for all of their hard work, discipline, getting their own apartment, and taking on the responsibilities of life.  It was a good time for them, and a great reason to celebrate.  We are so proud of ALL of our children, their hard work and discipline, and their incredible choices they consistently make in their personal lives.

We were sitting at a table on our porch.  There were a few other people around.  I explained before that Erin was good at taking us out of our comfort zone, and this was no exception.  She started to ask questions about, and tell us her opinion of, the fact that she thought our youngest sons, who were best friends for years, were doing things they shouldn’t be doing.  Nothing earth-ending, but inappropriate, nonetheless, in her opinion.  I didn’t want to hear it.  She had brought it up at a Halloween party, as well, that we had attended with her and her husband that previous October, and I didn’t want to hear it then, either.

Out of sight, out of mind.  You ever heard that?  Well, I thought that if I didn’t give the perceived negative actions any energy, power, thought, or attention, it would fix itself and go away, eventually, and it did.  I thought that the possible “bad behavior” would stop when our kids had their fun, learned a few lessons, experienced a little bit of life, made some mistakes, were exposed to some new things, and had the opportunity to do some new things and learn on their own.  I had a different opinion, a different outlook on parenting and life, so I turned a blind eye, partially out of fear and frustration, partially out of the belief that it was something they needed to experience and go through for themselves.  I didn’t want to put a spot light on the possible, “bad behavior.”  I simply viewed it differently than her.

I was short with Erin.  I explained that I wanted to choose to listen to and believe our boys.  I told her I believed our boys were good boys.  She agreed, but I felt like I was rude about it.  Not overly so, but I made it clear that I didn’t want to discuss it further, without quite saying those exact words.  For the next few months, we didn’t communicate at all.  I wanted to give it time in order to process through it all and see what would come of it.  I thought we had the time to do so and observe it all unfold into a beautiful life experience.  When I got the text from Erin’s husband that Erin had passed away, I was devastated.  This incredible woman was willing to go out on a limb and possibly even lose friends because she wanted to shed light on a problem and come up with possible solutions for the problem with us, and I felt as though I had possibly slighted her.  I felt I had maybe even been a little disrespectful.  In no way did she lose us as friends.  I simply chose not to talk to her for a while, being caught up in the distractions and the business of life, thinking we had time to work through all of this, together.  I was taking the easy option of simply letting time pass and allowing lessons to be learned.  She preferred the active approach to parenting while I wanted to take the passive approach.  I thought we had time to let things unfold the way I thought they were supposed to.

I only live in guilt and shame for decisions made, as long as I choose to.  The good that came from this situation, the lesson learned, and, “The rest of the story”, is this:  The realization that there might not be much time left to shed some light on any possible problems and come up with some solutions.  Sometimes, it is important to listen to others, show them respect, and choose the difficult things to think, say, and do.

It has been years since Erin passed, but we still think of her and talk about memories we made with her often.  Our children referred to have grown into incredible, honorable, strong, loyal, hard working men, an both of them are currently creating beautiful lives I believe Erin would be so proud of.

The death of a loved one alters our perceptions.  We are immediately reminded of the fragility of life.  The loss of someone has within it a sort of bitter magic, that allows us to see things differently, and empowers us to see past our judgements of them and to recognize only their true beauty, and their true value and worth, allowing us to see them as they really were all along, full of beauty and perfection, leaving us sometimes wondering why we couldn’t see them in this way, all along.

Losing a loved one has a way of stripping away all that never mattered, revealing ONLY all that really DID.

A wave of memories crashes down over us, as we surf the waves of life the best we can, enveloping us, swallowing us, and sometimes violently tumbling us about beneath the depths, holding us under, not allowing us to come up for breath, and battering us against the corals and the harsh sands below.

When we finally resurface, gasping for air, bloody and scraped, and exhausted from the experience, the air has never tasted sweeter, the sun has never warmed us quite so beautifully, and after resting for a while, we are ready to surf again.

We know what we are getting into.  We know the potential of each wave.  Yet the possibility of the beauty of the experience that comes from really living, and riding that next wave, learning each time how to better navigate and use the wave to our benefit, rather than allowing it to drag us under, empowers us with the courage we need to keep taking risks and to keep trying.  We keep going, even when it hurts.

Death and loss, and the pain and suffering that sometimes accompany them, are inevitable bi-products of experiencing this life.  Death is a not-so-subtle, beautiful reminder that each moment could literally be our last.  

Reminder to self:  Continue to consistently do your best, in EVERY situation.  Forgive yourself and others.  Let go of all attachments.  Listen to others.  Be humble, open, kind, grateful and respectful, to everyone, ALWAYS, but especially to friends and loved ones.  Live each day as if it were your very last.  Accept self and others, FULLY, with no judgment, and no criticism.  BE LOVE, and allow all else to fall away.  Let go and let be.  LIVE, really live.

Today I will behave as if I have no time left.  I will live this day as though it were my last.  I will be respectful, kind, and thoughtful as I choose to think, say, and do something difficult.  I will step out of my comfort zone today, even if it is a simple apology or the expression of love and appreciation for a friend or family member.  Today, and every day, I will BE LOVE.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share any message which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.

“Action is the antidote for despair.  Action is the prescription for success.” – Lisa Nichols

Action inspires feelings, just like feelings inspire action.  Through visualization, specific chemicals and hormones are instantly released into our bloodstream that cause us to feel as though the thing we are visualizing has already happened, and that we are already there, having accomplished what we want to accomplish, and already being exactly who we want to be.

Through visualization, energy is emitted in the form of a vibrational frequency from us out into the Universe, making us attractive to that which we are thinking about, and since we tend to get back what we put out, we become attractive to that which we think about.  This is how that which we think about and focus upon is attracted to us.

If we hold that which we want in our minds eye, through concentration, focus, repetition, and consistency, it is ours already.

VISUALIZATION IS A USEFUL ACTION.

Some of the most effective visualization I have practiced has been during meditation.  There are many ways to meditate, and one  way I learned is the Ziva technique, which only takes 15 minutes.  It is extremely effective in stress reduction, and regaining a sense of calmness, and includes visualization.  Emily Fletcher teaches this technique, and explains it well, along with all of the many benefits of meditation and visualization in her book, STRESS LESS, ACCOMPLISH MORE.  I was first introduced to her on the YouTube show, HEALTH THEORY.

Physical movement will change our breathing patterns, physiology, chemistry, hormones, and our mind.  When we are in a funk, stressed, frustrated, or feeling overwhelmed, it is best to move and take action, even if it is small.  A short walk can immediately alter our mood.  Small things turn into big things, especially when done consistently.  Movement brings blood flow, and with it a higher level of oxygen, an ability to begin thinking and feeling differently, and an immediate up-regulation of our immune system.  A ten minute walk can be used as a FAR more effective tool than willpower alone.

Take a walk.  Start moving.  Ride a bike.  Stretch.  Do an easy online, YouTube yoga class.  ANYTHING is better than nothing.  Anything we do will help us be even MORE capable of visualization and creation within the physical world we are interacting and participating in.

There is a mind/body connection that is so real.  Move the body, and the mind will follow suit.

Today I will remember the importance of the mind/body connection.  I will keep moving, even if it is only a little.  I will also research and create a visualization method for myself.

Please feel free to check out and share this information that I have come across and that has been so incredibly helpful to me, regarding meditation and visualization:

https://goodinthehead.com/personalized-meditationvisualization-practices/

Some of the most incredible teachings I have come across regarding creation, movement, and energies, has come to me through the teachings of Bob Proctor.  I was first introduced to his ideas through the book and the movie, THE SECRET, which contains some of the most prolific and empowering thought leaders of our time.

Emily Fletcher teaches an incredible, life-altering meditation technique.  Her book, STRESS LESS, ACCOMPLISH MORE, is definitely worth purchasing and reading or listening to.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

When, one day, I came to the realization that I could literally die, any day, I wanted to do something I could leave behind for the people I love, especially my kids.  I started writing as a way to spread wisdom in an entertaining way, and trying to create something for them that would help them to feel close to me, even though we may sometimes be far apart. I wanted this to be a more personal thing for the ones I love and want to remain close to.  The words I write and send out daily are now, and have been, inspirational, motivating, and life-changing for me, and I hope they can and will be for you, as well.

These daily messages were meant to be meaningful in some way, to someone, somewhere.  The things I share each day are things I have searched for, learned, and gained a ton of value from.  They are things which contributed to positive improvements in my personal life, and have empowered me to become a generous contributor, an influencer, and a better man, and these things are available to EVERYONE.  

Every one of these messages are meant to be shared.  Please share them with people, friends, and family you care about in your own lives.  Help spread the light and wisdom that has helped and empowered me, and so many others, to redefine and recreate our personal human  realities in beautiful ways.  Because of the quotes and teachings that I am reminded of and share daily and consistently, my life has been enriched.  These daily posts are a HIGHLY useful tool to be used to REFOCUS, RE-ALIGN, RE-IDENTIFY, and RECOMMIT.  I am able to feel closer to the people I care about and love, and I desire to have an even deeper, more meaningful relationship with.  I challenge everyone to try this out for themselves.

I believe that improving ourselves and our lives will start with an improvement in the content we allow into our minds to be focused upon.  I have found it to be true that what we focus on we FEED, and what we FEED, GROWS.  

Altering and shifting our focus each day and starting off our day with an enlightening, uplifting, inspirational, motivational and a grateful way of thinking, can and will, over time, enrich and appreciate our lives in ways we can’t even imagine.  Beginning the day in such a way builds momentum in the direction of our intentional focus, and sets us up for success, meaning, and fulfillment the entire rest of the day.

It all starts in our minds, and with what we consistently choose to focus on each day.  Our thoughts become the words we say, the things we do, the habits we create, and the life we eventually live.  We create our lives with our thoughts and what we choose to focus on.

Simon Sinek teaches, “Together is better.”  I agree.

Today I will communicate to those I care about the most, by sharing something meaningful, helpful, loving, and uplifting.  I will tell them I love them.  I will remember to always live life to the fullest and treat each day as if it were my last.

The work of Simon Sinek can be found on YouTube.  He is absolutely worth following and learning from.

Sometimes in this life, we feel lost.  There is great value that comes from being lost.  Know that wherever you currently are in life, it is exactly where you are meant to be right now.  You are perfect as you are, right where you need to be, and the Universe is constantly conspiring on your behalf, just as it was designed to do from the very beginning.  Everything is unfolding FOR you, exactly as it needs to.  One day, your pain will be useful to you, and as you later share the wisdom you have acquired from the devastating losses, pain, and agony of life that you have experienced, you will realize this.  Someday, you will use what you have learned to empower others to help, save, and further intentionally empower THEMSELVES, as so many have done for you, all along the way.  We are all in this life thing together, and we are all connected.  We are all ONE.  Let us start behaving as though we are.

It is okay to feel lost.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

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What better way to start the day than with a perspective check that helps shift our focus towards something we believe is beneficial and will add to our own personal growth and improvement? Reminders like this have value, especially when reviewed at the start of a day as part of a consistent, daily, morning routine.
Each of these messages are meant to remind us of what we already believe to be important and beneficial in our daily lives, and to aid in the re-focusing process many of us don’t even realize we so desperately need. It has become increasingly more difficult to focus on what truly matters with all the many distractions which are now so prevalent in our lives.
This website was created to remind myself in some small way, each and every day, that Mindset matters, that Character counts, and that FOCUS IS EVERYTHING.
That which we focus upon tends to manifest itself in our lives, more and more. The more intense our focus, the quicker the thing we focus upon manifests.

It is my deepest desire that this website will benefit you as much as it has benefited me.

If this message spoke to you, helped you, or added value to you in any way, please share it on social media. Help spread the light!

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter! Follow us there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders. Please share this message with someone you love or may care about.

Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. Focus is everything!

This life has a way of teaching us to be humble.

Just when we think we have made it, accomplished all we set out to accomplish, attained the greatest heights we possibly could have, our world comes crashing down.  It happens to everyone, sooner or later.

We all suffer losses and defeats.  It is what we become, having suffered through our hard times, getting back up and dusting ourselves off, and going again, that makes us great.  Remaining humble throughout the process, realizing that at any time we could lose everything, while enjoying and sharing the reality of our triumphs and successes, makes the process even more beautiful.

Realizing and remembering that when we are experiencing moments of greatness, it is usually with the help of others that we have become so, is of the utmost importance.  It is important to remember everyone who helped us all along the way, making today’s version of who we identify as a possibility.  Of course, we are ultimately responsible for ourselves, our choices, our reactions, our realities and our lives, but it is through the help, love, and miracles in our lives provided us by others, that our lives our truly great.

When in moments of greatness or success we are mature, wise, and thoughtful enough to thank others for their help along the way, that is humility.

Stay humble.  Stay kind.  Help others.  Celebrate the amazing person you have become.  Strive always to become better.  ALWAYS be upgrading.  Help and empower others along the way to do the same.

Today I will choose to be humble and thank those in my life who have helped me along the way.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

Years ago, I suffered a loss that was so devastating and painful to endure that I was willing to try to take my own life to escape the pain.  At the time I had just become a full-time, single father.  I felt abandoned, hopeless, overwhelmed, and incredibly depressed.  My sister told me something that hit me hard.  It woke me up:  “If you are okay, your boys will be okay.”

She explained to me that my boys were watching me closely to see how I reacted to every situation throughout each day.  They were learning from me about how to think, how to respond to similar situations in their own lives, how to process information, how to speak, and how to do things.  The thought of them thinking like me and doing things like me scared me.  It made me want to do better and to do more.  I needed to do better-if not for myself, then for them.

She told me I am like a glass.  She told me that I needed to fill up my glass until it began to overflow, so that my boys could then benefit from my overflow.

The problem was, I was a mess.  I was a glass that had been picked up, thrown onto the hard floor, and shattered everywhere.  As it turns out, it was all a blessing in disguise.  All of my sisters contained the situation.  They made sure nobody stepped into the glass or got cut, or walked away with pieces of me stuck in their feet or shoes.  My mom and her husband had a broom.  My dad and his wife had a dust pan.  They all swept up the shattered pieces of my life and put me in a pile on the counter top, careful to pick up each and every piece.  My sisters, my mom and her husband, my dad and his wife, and the rest of my family, friends, and loved ones, worked hard to help and empower me to put myself back together.

I was so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by so many good, caring, understanding, wise, experienced, loving, accepting people.

In Japan, when a valuable item has been broken, they fill in the areas of breakage, mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, as they repair the item.  It is called, Kintsugi.  They believe that when something of value has been broken and then repaired, it is more beautiful and valuable, and much stronger, with gold having been in-laid into the cracks during the repair job.

So my family, friends, and loved ones got to work, and laid within my cracks traces of gold.  They helped me, empowering me with resources, perspectives, ideas, beliefs, and taught me how to become more beautiful, more valuable, and stronger than I had ever been before.  They started to fill me up with love, and suggested tasks that would empower me to fill my life, or my glass, with valuable content.  They inspired me to join the gym and begin to work out and take better care of myself.  They encouraged me to do things I didn’t want to do at the time, like go back to church with my children, visit them on Sundays for family dinners, and cultivate new friendships.  They supported me as I enrolled in school and furthered my education.  They supported me, called me, loved me, and constantly bugged me, even when I didn’t want them to.  They made sure I stayed busy.  Pretty soon, I was at a place in life where I was able to fill my own cup.  Pretty soon, it started to overflow.

Sometimes, along the way, the repairs would crack, spilling valuable content, rendering me unable to provide an overflow to my children and those around me.  Many times have I been repaired over the years.  I have learned to repair myself.  I am grateful for the help, love, support, and empowerment, that came through and by so many, all along the way.

My children watched me for years and they learned from me.  They benefited from my cup when it overflowed, and I worked hard to make sure it overflowed as much as possible, for their benefit.  They decided what they wanted to copy, mirror, and mimic, by observing my behaviors.  They experimented with these teachings, and applied and adopted them into their own lives.  They also learned how imperfect I was, and what characteristics and behaviors they didn’t want to apply and adopt.  Either way, we all grew and learned together, forming a beautiful, deep, meaningful connection that will last forever.

The truest thing I have heard about pain is this:  One day, your pain will be useful to you.  That is hard to hear or to think about during the moments when the pain is greatest, but after it subsides, we realize the truth in the statement.

One day, our pain will be useful to us.

We realize that because of what we suffered, endured, and learned through, we are more capable of empathy, connection to others, understanding, light, and love.  We have grown, improved, and progressed because of the pain.  We are more valuable because of the pain, and therefore can be of more value to others.  We benefit in many ways from pain, struggles, difficulties, and hardships, and have the opportunity to help and empower others because of our experiences and learned wisdom, each and every day we are alive.

As we acquire the skills to heal through trauma, we become stronger.  We become wiser. We become better.

We are all a part of a larger family.  We are all one.  We all suffer pain and loss.  We all have the opportunity to help one another through it.  We all have the opportunity to deepen our connections, making them more meaningful and more beautiful.  It falls upon US, to heal the pain caused by generations of trauma.

We all break.  Many of us are shattered.  Together, and through one another, the beautiful mending process of Kintsugi can, and will, take place within us all.

Today, I will find a way to be there for, and empower another who is broken or shattered, like I have been, and who is experiencing pain.  I will find a way to somehow help mend the area of breakage with gold through love and acceptance, and begin helping and empowering them to learn to heal them self, as others have done for me.    

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser. 

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

I LOVE stories with a lesson.  If we look for them, there are lessons in EVERY story.

This is a story I was raised with.  The telling of this story, and the teachings of this man, have affected millions of people throughout the years, and is worth retelling.

Centuries ago, as he hung from a cross in extreme pain, after enduring a day of torture and abuse and being nailed to a cross, Christ taught an important lesson with a last request.  He looked down at his friend, Peter, and his mother, Mary.  They looked up at him, horrified by the ugly scene before them.  The flesh was falling off of his body where he had been whipped in the streets during the day.  Blood trickled down this broken man and pooled at the bottom of the cross from his wounds.  A crown of three-to-six-inch thorns was literally hammered into his head under the weight of a flat board, leaving deep tears and gashes in his scalp and covering his entire body in his own blood.  The common practice at the time was to embarrass or humiliate men by tying them to the cross, but in this case, the Romans decided to nail this particular man’s hands and feet to the cross in order to inflict upon him as much pain as they possibly could.  When they realized the weight of his body wouldn’t be held by the nails in his hands, they put nails in his wrists, as well.

Here was a man that Peter and Mary knew and loved.  He was family.

He looked to Peter, first.  “Man-behold they mother.”  His heavy head turned to his mom.  “Woman-behold thy son.”

In the last minutes of his life, he taught them that, “Together is Better.”  He asked them to take care of each other.  He knew he wouldn’t be around much longer in this physical world to do it himself.

Reminder to self:

Look around you today as you hurry through your busy life.  Take the time to really see, notice, and recognize the people around you, amidst all of the distractions and the hurried business of the day.  We are all family.  We are all ONE.  We are all infinitely connected, having been cut from the same cloth, and plucked from the same source, to be inserted into this temporary, physical realm, in a temporary, human, physical body.  We have all endured and suffered through pain, and on this common plane of pain, we can all relate to one another.

We each have the opportunity to connect with others around us at various times throughout the day.  Let us all take the chance and opportunity to do so.

One of my favorite things I have ever heard about pain is this:  “Someday, this pain will be useful to you.” 

What better use is pain that has been endured and suffered through, than to empower us to understand, relate to, and empathize with others in pain?  What better use is pain than to share the wisdom and helpful tools that comes from surviving it, learning to live with and through it, and effectively comforting others going through it, as we have?  What better ways to learn and use compassion?

While pain and suffering is a way we are connected, I believe it is FAR more useful to connect through unconditional love and acceptance, which is the divine energy within us ALL.  To give unconditional love and acceptance, we must first HAVE these things within us to give.  

How do we reconnect with this inner, divine energy source that we all ARE?  How do we UN-become everything we thought we had to be for others and have worked so hard to be in order to feel accepted, validated, appreciated, and loved by others?  How do we leave behind the outer sources of everything we have perceived to be making us happy, peaceful, accepted, validated , appreciated, and loved, and simply BE these things, no longer needing anything from anyone?

Today I will be there for someone who needs it.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

Physical movement will change our breathing patterns, oxygen intake, hormone levels, physiology, chemistry, and our mind.  When we are in a funk, it is helpful to take action, even if it is small.  Small things add up, compile, stack, compound, and quickly turn into big things.  A walk, an act of service, a few minutes in the sunlight-ANY action instantly alters our state of beingness.

ACTIONS PRODUCE RESULTS AND RESULTS PRODUCE FEEDBACK.  

Take a walk.  Start moving.  Ride a bike.  Stretch.  Drop down to the ground and do 5 or 10 push-ups.  Anything is better than nothing.  Don’t think about it.  Just do it.  Do it now.

There is a mind/body connection that is so real.  Move the body, and the mind will follow suite.  A body in motion stays in motion.  Movement shifts our attention and focus from the mind to the body, allowing for a reprieve from the constant thinking activities of the monkey mind.  MOVEMENT IS MEDITATION.  Many times, solutions to problems are discovered in this fashion.  The mind, left alone, tends to take over everything, many times destroying us from the inside out!

MOVEMENT IS A MEDITATION.

For SO many, yoga has become a meditative practice that is far more useful than sitting around trying to quiet the one thing that is incessant, relentless, and even torturous: THE MIND.

For a fun and short yoga experience, check out Yoga with Adriene on YouTube!

Today I will remember the importance of the mind/body connection.  I will keep moving, even if it is only a little.  I will keep doing, even if it is only a little.

Brian Rose created a short documentary worth watching.  It is available on YouTube all about movement, featuring Ido Portal, called, JUST MOVE.

https://youtu.be/UrzIUWnfoYw?si=QiWiX1VIyTjoGYIF

Tom Bilyeu interviewed Lisa Nichols on his YouTube show, Impact Theory, and her story and message to the world is INCREDIBLE.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.