Looking After Number One


Looking after number one

At one of the most difficult points in my life, my sister Trudy passed on to me some wisdom she had learned from another single parent: “If you take good care of yourself, your kids will be better off because of it.”  At the time I was struggling with guilt because I had very little time with my children and I was trying to decide if I should use a portion of the time I had with my sons to go to the gym. After hearing this bit of advice I decided to work out consistently and because of it my life improved. Why?  My stress levels went down.  My thinking was more clear.   My health was better and my diet improved. The little time I had with my children was of a higher quality than other times in my life when I spent years not working out or going to the gym.

On an airplane, during an emergency, if the oxygen masks shoot out of the plane, it is suggested that we put on a mask for ourselves first before helping those around us.  This way, we are able to think clearly enough because we have enough oxygen going to our own brain to then help those around us.  In our lives, the more we use certain tools to help ourselves and better our position in life, the more the people around us will benefit from being a part of our lives. The better we care for ourselves, the more we can do for others.

There are positive and unintentional by-products of us taking the best care of ourselves that we possibly can.   When we better our position in this life and strive to be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be, it benefits those around us, specifically our children. We all have the option to choose to do whatever we want to. Most children will do what we do regardless of what it is, and hopefully will become the best version of themselves as well.

The only thing we can truly control is ourselves.  As much as we would like to control others sometimes, it is true that we have no control over anyone but ourselves. We can certainly influence others, but each of us has to eventually accept responsibility for our own thoughts and words and actions. We all need to assume full responsibility for our own self control.

Self control is one of the most important tools we can have!

If you have your mind and control of it, you can do anything and be anything you want to.

Feeding your mind

How important is it then what we feed our minds?  What do we choose to watch on tv?  What do we choose to read?  What is it we choose to focus on-especially when it is not required we focus on anything at all?

A good gauge is our speech and the topic of our conversations throughout the day. What do we find ourselves talking with others about throughout the duration of the day?  Do we choose to keep it positive?  Do we choose to change the topic of conversation to something we would prefer to focus on if the conversation is negative in nature or not conducive to the positive change we are trying to make for ourselves?

Most people don’t know what they want. They don’t know what they want for themselves, what they want out of this life, what they want to do for a living.  Knowing what we want is 85% of the battle.

After we know exactly what we want and focus on it, only then do things become increasingly easy for us in our everyday lives.  When we know what we want, it becomes very clear to us what we need to do in order to obtain whatever it is we desire.

When we focus on what we want, everything we don’t want and all of the anxiety and worry and stress surrounding it falls away and disappears. 


It is important for each of us to decide exactly what we want for ourselves.  We are all individuals and we need to decide for ourselves which tools will help us the most to acquire that which we want for ourselves.

Decide what types of thoughts you want to think. Decide the words you want to come out of your mouth. Decide the type of person you want to be and exactly what you want for yourself in this life. It is YOUR life. It is YOUR responsibility to make it the way YOU want it to be.

It is nobody’s responsibility to save you!  You need to realize that and save yourself.  You need to believe in yourself so much that even if someone comes along and offers to save you that you say, “Thanks, but I’ve got this!”

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