Acute, extreme unhappiness is (or can be) used as a tool to progress towards enlightenment, mindfulness, and presence. It can be used as a tool towards personal progression. It can help us relate better to others who have had similar experiences and bond and connect us together with them. It is okay to be acutely, extremely unhappy for the simple fact that we need to know how that feels, as humans, so that we can experience contrasting emotions, learn, then choose and eventually experience, more fully appreciate, and be grateful for the opposite. TRUE growth sometimes only comes from the challenging, difficult times.
EXPERIENCING EXTREME CONTRASTS ALLOWS US THE OPPORTUNITY TO CREATE MORE OF WHAT WE DO WANT TO EXPERIENCE MORE OF.
From 1999 to 2014, I was prescribed mood stabilizers and antidepressants. Many doctors told me I was a danger to myself and others and that I was, “mentally and emotionally unstable.” At the time I was working 18 hours a day, seven days a week. The medications took away my ability to feel ANYTHING, which resulted in a deep desire to end my life as I believed myself to be broken and incapable of contributing in a meaningful way. I ended up feeling worthless and hopeless, all in the effort to be stable and safe. I much prefer the instability and unpredictability of “normal” life with unpredictable emotions to the mind-altering, soul-killing experience that those medications gave me. The TRUTH was I needed to make personal adjustments, naturally. Things like working less hours, getting adequate rest, improving my diet, getting out into nature more, implementing a daily gratitude practice, proper nutrition, and meditation were FAR better practices for me than popping pills, but I’m grateful I had THAT experience, too.
I always had the belief that emotional stability should be my goal. Well, I can sometimes be a moody person. If I can’t always attain a stable feeling with my emotions, does that, then, make me bad or weak? I used to think so. Now, I think it is extremely important to believe and remember that feeling the entire gamut of feelings is a beautiful, helpful, and important part of this life experience. It’s okay to have emotions!
Our physical body and our brain are wired to constantly change. We can set up our day for optimal success by getting consistent sleep, eating well, exercising our bodies and brains, and adhering to a consistent morning routine, but there will still be an inconsistency in thoughts, chemicals, hormones, and feelings within us. That is okay! That is completely normal and it’s fine. It’s supposed to be like that.
This life is meant to sometimes be unstable and awkward-filled with experiences, changes, and challenges. Without these things in our lives we cannot grow and progress as we are meant to do. We can ALWAYS better learn to adapt, pivot, readjust, recalibrate, and improve. We can choose to always be upgrading.
The universe is set up to benefit us and add value to our lives. It is set up to provide us with opportunities to connect with others and these connections add value to their lives, as well as to ours. The universe constantly conspires on our behalf. It was designed that way. EVERYTHING happening “to” us is actually happening FOR us. Each day is a new opportunity to learn and grow.
Today I will enjoy each feeling as it comes along and ask myself what I can learn from each feeling and experience throughout the day.
I highly recommend reading and re-reading the book, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, by Daniel Goleman. It has proven useful in upgrading the emotional intelligence of MILLIONS.
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our realities.