Anger can ruin our lives if we let it. It can also be used as a powerful motivator for change.
I was raised to believe that ANGER was a “bad” thing-that it was destructive and useless. I spent my entire life trying to transcend and overcome it, until one day, in 2020, I expressed that idea of transcending it to my dad. He asked me: “Why would you want to alleviate anger from your life?! It is a SUPER USEFUL TOOL, when it is needed. Keep it tucked away for when it IS needed, and choose ONLY to use it THEN.” This is the first time in 48 years of living that my perspective was shifted about the topic of anger.
I recently heard a neuroscientist on a podcast express how ANGER is better than HOPELESSNESS, and if we can transition from the emotion of hopelessness into anger, we are in a better place-AND we can CONTINUE to upgrade our emotional state! I had never thought about it quite like that before! What a USEFUL BELIEF. What an INCREDIBLE PERSPECTIVE!
Dr. David R. Hawkins wrote the book, THE MAP OF CONSCIOUSNESS EXPLAINED. In it, he provides a VIBRATIONAL MAP of EMOTIONS, in which WE vibrate from the emotion of SHAME, at a level of 20, and can UPGRADE our Personal Vibrational Frequency all the way up to ENLIGHTENMENT, at level 1,000.
According to Dr. Hawkins, ANGER is at level 150. The general public vibrates right around 200, as a collective whole. ANGER IS NOT A BAD THING. It is how we USE it that matters.
ANGER can ignite within us a flame that motivates and empowers us, but we must be careful with ANGER, for if used TOO MUCH, it will burn us down to the ground, along with everything and everyone around us.
Sometimes, though, it is NECESSARY to burn it all to the ground, and experience this life as though we are a PHOENIX. Starting completely over isn’t a bad thing.
“It’s okay to be angry, but it isn’t healthy to be resentful. Regardless of what we learned as children, no matter what we saw role-modeled, we can learn to deal with our anger in ways that are healthy for us and for those around us. We can have our angry feelings. We can connect with them, own them, feel them, express them, release them, and be done with them.
We can learn to listen to what anger is telling us about what we want and need in order to take care of ourselves.
Sometimes we can even indulge in angry feelings that AREN’T justified. Feelings are just feelings: there is no morality in the feeling, only in our behavior. We can feel angry without hurting or abusing others or ourselves. We can learn to deal with anger in ways that benefit our relationships instead of ways that harm them.
If we don’t feel our angry feelings today, we will need to face them tomorrow.”
IF WE DON’T FEEL OUR ANGRY FEELINGS TODAY, WE WILL NEED TO FACE THEM TOMORROW.
This is genius. It is gold. There is so much truth said here. I know from experience all of these things to be true for me.
Jay Shetty has an incredibly well researched YouTube video about anger:
Wayne Dyer gives a BEAUTIFUL metaphor of THE ORANGE. He asks what comes out of an orange when it is squeezed. ONLY orange juice. No mistakes. Never mango, pineapple, or apple juice-ONLY orange juice. Why? Because that is what is INSIDE.
Then, he extends the metaphor to humans. What comes out of US when WE are squeezed? How do we react or respond when people laugh at us, tease us, or bully us? How do we behave when our boss or spouse abuses us in a moment of weakness or frustration, or when our children cause us stress? The ONLY thing that comes out of US, when we are squeezed, is what is inside.
Today’s challenge for myself: Today I will feel and deal with my anger if I need to, then change my focus back to the thoughts, words, and actions that will lead me to accomplish my goals and help me be the best possible version of myself I can possibly be. I will use my anger as a TOOL, and remember that experiencing anger is a normal part of life.
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our personal realities.