This question was asked in a group on-line I belong to. The answers were great, and I hope sharing it will help someone else, in some way.
Answer: You can start by stopping the thoughts that it’s messed up… keep saying that you believe it so it is. Explanation: It’s not the thought . It’s fucked cos I’m not in control and I give in again n again to the things affecting my life. Answer: You have to discipline yourself.
You thinking you are not in control is part of the problem. You can’t control most circumstances but you can control your response.
Read!!! What goes in your mind comes out!
-get around positive people that empower you not discourage you.
-Vision! Studies prove that our mind can’t tell the difference between reality and imagination. When we vision the way we want something to go like a performance or even events in our life, it will change how they happen because it will feel like we’ve done it before.
-Change your physiology. We know that motion creates emotion. The more you move the more energetic and motivated you’ll be to take action and do shit!
-Trust the process! I promise you whatever you’re going through will go away and other people have it way worse. Show some gratitude and believe that all will work out. You’re exactly where you need to be!
Stay positive buddy!😁
Give yourself a path out of it. Right now it is fucked and will likely stay fucked. If you transition to it is fucked but you will get some good answers from these comments that gives your mind a path out of the current thinking.
If you never “think” your in control you will never “feel” in control either
Bad things and contrasting situations happen to all of us these are what can be recognised as facts.
But our opinions about those facts are always controllable just by choosing to deliberately think differently about them.
I could pick up a rock and take it to the top of a mountain, then i could throw it all the way to the bottom, the rock hasnt changed at all its still just a rock.
In the same way you could get an amazing job or promotion, win the lottery etc, then another
time in your life you could file for bankruptcy.
But YOU are still YOU,
YOU remain the same spiritual being you were born to be no matter what happens to you.
The things that change are what happen and your opinion about them is the part you always can control, you can normally feel better just by writing a different story and choosing to think about these contrasting situations in a different way.
Because its rarely what “happens” to us that really matters, its how we react that defines us.
A brand new self image of yourself could be very helpful.
I would highly recommend reading “Psycho-Cybernetics” and to take on all positive suggestions and daily practices as the book suggests for a minimum of 21 days and see how you feel after that?
Analyze what you are taking in through your five senses daily. What are you watching? Reading? listening to? What are you feeding your mind? Who are you around? Can you surround yourself with more positive individuals to help build you up? Create a safe space for yourself and begin to fed yourself with positive affirmations and information. Don’t listen to sad music, watch violent movies or surround yourself with the “gunk” of the world. Look for the things that inspire you, motivate you and you will begin to thrive. This must be a process first, and it’s a struggle. However, then it becomes a habit and then a habit becomes part of what makes you you.
I don’t believe that someone is totally fucked.
but change (aka rewire) can be not easy.
Start with baby steps can be useful.
1. Change your diet & Track your food intake 2. Exercise Daily and Stretch 3. Practice Breathing exercises
I am going to make an assumption. You are bouncing off of rock bottom. Bro I’ve been there. I have two kids, I am getting divorced and I am completely changing careers. Life was sucking. I had to start at the raw fucking basics.
Gotta change that mindset. I’ve been there a few times, myself. Everything seems to be working against you. You’re swimming upstream. Nothing is going right. It’s incredibly easy to think of how bad you have it and how stressed you are.
Take a few minutes to be thankful of the things you do have:
– Your health
– Internet access
– A network of awesome people who want to see you through this situatoin
Find the small positives and eventually they become big positives =)
Sounds like you’ve started to believe and agree with the thoughts in your mind that are lies and serve you, your future and your life no good. The lies are making you believe that you are “NOT GOOD ENOUGH” and that your brain is “FUCKED.” Your brain is not fucked you have just started to attach to those beliefs and voices, the leis inside of you that we ALL HAVE and you have let them start to define who you are. You have to realize those negative voices are not who you are they are lies, you just have to remember this day in and day out because its an easy trap to fall into 🙂
Your mind is not the issue
Change your mental diet.
Adopt new habits which will change your mindset. It will take strong willpower.
A simple way to start is to say 5 positive things about yourself and keep repeating those to yourself out loud throughout the day. Really feel it when you say those things. An example may be “I am a strong willed person who executes on his plan”, or “i am a kind person and I care about my family, friends and myself”.
The way we speak to ourselves is super important so the dialogue needs to be positive because we are always our own worst critic. Change the way you speak to yourself and it may the catalyst to changing your beliefs. Beliefs are the next step in this. Impact Theory has a great belief system you should check out and it’s free. Good luck mate.
Angela Court Small amount of info to go by but at a glance, maybe….
Remember that if you judge yourself for your thoughts or current position in life, or your feelings, it’s harder to go where you want to go. Once we can chose to not judge our feelings, we can let them wash over us, knowing they can’t harm us as that they will pass. Then we can focus on the « what/why » we feel that way or believe that belief and decide if it is serving us today, and towards our goals.
You are enough. Write that on your mirror Amel Robbins style. Begin to believe it. Your choices can empower you to know your self worth, and your rights to forgive yourself for your past and human-ness and move fully forward to your best self and best life.
Only let in the light and respectfully don’t let in anything that doesn’t feel like light. Or the fuel for the light. Then give light to other, so you can feel fulfilled and connected.
Only few people have the guts to do it on their own. Find someone around you:- work, school etc who changed them self entirely. That’s the start…
We are a very complex system and there´s a lot of factors that can be affecting you (Sleep, diet, exercise, environment, social interaction) It’s really hard to give an answer… and then having the answer it is really hard to get in action…
Liza Becker How about looking for inspiration to change? There are amazing books out there that can help you develop a growth mindset. Mindset by Carol Dweck is one of them.
Go do a 1 week vipassana meditation course. It’s free. It works wonders. This is it being used in prisons.
As someone working toward an impact in the world of mental health, I’d highly recommend this book based on Acceptance and Commitment therapy in the context of laymen and self-therapy. It’s not complicated, but incredibly powerful in changing your mindset to one of self-acceptance and living a value-based life. There is a component of mindfulness that can be challenging, but it’s laid out very well. That bit requires work. The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT https://www.amazon.com/…/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i…
Meditate, meditate, meditate. The answer are within.
Go to a psychologist. 3 sessions did more for me than 3 years of my own progress…and now I’m taking what I learned previously and building in what he taught me. Go go go go go go and it’ll help you more than you imagine, and it doesn’t need to be permanent. You’d pay 30 to have Tom consult you on business for an hour, right? It’d save you tons of headaches. This is no different and I so hope you can find a way to.
You sound like you are in overwhelm right now, and your challenges too large. I’d suggest writing things down, 1) to get your thoughts OUT of your head and 2) to be able to see them clearly and then you can break them down into manageable pieces, for which solutions can be found. Finding your own inner peace might be through exercise/meditation/ walking the dog or breathing, try exploring all of the good things suggested to find what works for you. All the best.
Can absolutely relate to your situation. What helps me is becoming aware of my ANT‘s (Jim Kwik) Automatic Negative (self)Talk. As soon as you realize what‘s bothering you, you can find a way to change it (Meditation be aware there are different stiles of meditation, figure out which one suits you best)
GO ON NO LIMIT WARRIOR…!!! ✌️