September 28: A Father’s Letter To His Son

My sweet boy.  I wouldn’t be any kind of a man or a father if I didn’t tell you what you need to hear, and instead always stuck to what I know you may want to hear.

I honestly wish I had listened better when someone had told me these things, and that I had reviewed them daily, when I was younger and thought I knew and understood everything.

I wasn’t joking last night when I told you that your school work is a monster.  It is important, in your life, for you to slay the monsters while they are still weak, small, and unable to destroy you.  It’s like pulling weeds in a garden.  If you never do it, the garden will be overrun and useless.  It is the same with your mind, your body, and your life.  Pick the weeds as soon as they appear.  The more you do it, the easier it becomes.  This small habit, practiced consistently, will serve and save you, every day.

It is important to me the kind of man you choose to become.  The little, seemingly insignificant choices you make each day, to do or not to do things, adds up, over time.  All of the little things become big things, some day.  You get to choose what those little things are, each and every day.  You create your life with every choice you make.  It all starts with what you think about.  The secret to success, AND the secret to failure, is this:  We become what we think about.

When you don’t do well, or as well as you know you can, put it on yourself.  Always do your best.  Your best will always be good enough.

Personal accountability, accepting responsibility and all consequences of your actions, as well as your inactions, is what being a good man is all about.  All boys become men.  Not all boys become good men.

I believe you are good, strong, kind, wise, and full of greatness.  I love you more than anything in this world and I’m grateful to have been blessed to raise you and have you as my son.  You are on a good path and I hope you stick to it.  Make it a habit to get done what you need to, earlier than you need to.  Procrastination is the killer of dreams.

You are growing up so fast.  I’m proud of who you choose to be each day and I hope you are, as well.

Always own your shit.  Be the kind of man who accepts full responsibility for his actions and inactions.  The consequences of your decisions are yours and yours alone.  It is nobody’s job to save you-that is something you must learn to consistently do for yourself.  I’m glad I have been able to provide you the life I did.  It could have been worse and it could have been better.  The thing I love is that you recognize it as the blessing it has been all along.  You are grateful, appreciative, and capable of seeing the good in all of it.  This makes you wise beyond your years.  When life gets really tough and challenging, and it will, remember to recognize everything as a blessing, and remember to always recognize the good in all things.  Focus exclusively on these things, and the bad will disappear, in time.  We get back more of what we focus on.

You can always choose to push the blame for any failure in your life onto others, come up with excuses, and justify your actions, but I don’t see you doing that very often, and it makes me proud.  It makes me hopeful.  I think that you will set a standard in this life that is cool and inspiring for others to follow.

Our happiness level suffers every time our stress levels go up, so I believe it is important to create a physical environment and an emotional/mental environment within ourselves, that will be free of stress, guilt, manipulation, self-doubt, fear, and unhappiness.  Pain is key to growth, but I have a growing belief that pain which is self-induced in the form of goals, hard work, progression, personal improvement, etc. is a better kind of pain to focus on, than the pain that life will inevitably throw on our shoulders to help us grow when we choose to be lazy.  It’s almost as if there is a law the Universe has been programmed to follow, stating that it must recognize struggle, difficulty, and stress in our lives, or cause it FOR us.  I’ve seen it far too often in my life not to believe this.

Continue to seek out the good, the difficult, and the challenging.  Keep on looking forward to the prize you know you will deserve each and every time you choose to do the work to deserve it.  This, in no way, means you will get that prize, but knowing you did the hard work to deserve it will, at times, be reward enough.  Self-appreciate.  Be proud of yourself because you have many reasons to be.

We never know which day will be our last.  I will, til the day I die, love you, care for you to the best of my ability, and be the best father for you I possibly can.  I might not always be your vision of the perfect father, but I’ll always do my best by you.  Please know and remember that my best may differ, from day to day, but it is always my best.  I will always give you all I’ve got.

Keep going.  Keep doing what you are doing.  Failures are inevitable.  Quitting must never be an option.  Keep getting back up when you get knocked down, as quickly as you can.  Remember always that you are loved and that you are not alone.

My body may die but my energy will be with you always.


goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  The goodinthehead Podcast can be found on YouTube.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.  

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our personal realities.

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