“ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH, AND YOU WILL FEEL NO FEAR.”
There was a woman I worked with for a short period of time who seemed to irritate everyone. One day I was particularly tired. It had been a long week and we were asked to come in on the weekend. I was tired. I was grumpy. I mentioned to her that I hadn’t paid attention to something someone showed me one time and had made a mistake. I then listened to her just 10 minutes later tell our manager that I never paid attention to anything. I was furious. I stewed over it for 20 minutes. I could focus on nothing else. I am a guy, and we guys sometimes tend to bottle our emotions and explode later. I didn’t want to be like that anymore. It was something I had noticed within myself that I wanted to improve upon, so I decided to look at this as an opportunity to practice a new belief and talk to her about it.
As calmly as I could I walked over to her and told her what I heard her say, then explained what I had meant to say, and what I had meant for her to hear. I told her it made me feel as though she thought I was stupid and worthless to the team and asked if that was how she meant to make me feel. The way I approached it, with calmness rather than the rage I was feeling at the time, seemingly made all the difference. Her jaw dropped. She was appalled and apologized for the next ten minutes and assured me she had simply misunderstood what I had tried to say. Lessons were learned. Trust was formed. A bond was made. A friendship was started. Another family member was added. She is like a sister to me now. We may get irritated with one another from time to time, but now we talk things out immediately. Together, we created an environment in which we are able to feel comfortable being transparent and honest. We know exactly where we stand with each other. We are more productive. We are less angry and less stressed.
Talking about our feelings and sharing how we feel can be difficult and scary, and even make us feel vulnerable, but I am constantly reminded how important it is to communicate effectively, and sharing our feelings is an EXCELLENT way to upgrade our communication skills and our life experience.
When we bring out feelings to a person who may be triggering emotional responses from within us, it will help or it won’t. Either way, the burden is lifted from us, and the energy within the throat chakra is released to flow freely.
“One who elicits from within us, or stirs within us, extreme feelings or over-reactions, is simply holding up a mirror to us, showing us where we still have work to do. Consider this individual a SOUL MATE. Send them gratitude and love.”
-Dr. Wayne Dyer
Sharing instead of stewing is healing. It can help us foster a closeness and creates a bond of trust, or at least it will unburden us and let the other person know what we will and won’t accept or tolerate. It doesn’t always work out so well and it can be a little scary, but practice, repetition, and consistency are the keys to SUCCESS. The more we do it, the better we get at it, and the more beneficial it will be not just for us, but for everyone around us as well.
Today’s challenge for myself: Today I will look for a situation in which I can practice expressing any feelings I have, good or bad, to someone who is eliciting an emotional response from within me in any way. I will practice this skill and get better and better at it every chance I get, knowing I am upgrading my communication skills, and therefore also upgrading the quality of my life experience, as well.
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our personal realities.