Sometimes, making good choices for our self, and focusing on doing the right thing for our self in all situations, is misconceived as being selfish. People may even tell us that we are being selfish in order to manipulate or control us. That’s okay. Be, “selfish.”
Years ago, after suffering a devastating loss that left me hopeless, depressed, shattered, and even suicidal, my sister woke me up from my depressed slumber with these words: “I’m going to tell you something a lady at work told me during one of my most difficult periods of life: If you are okay, your kids will be okay.” She explained I am a glass, and as long as I am doing things to fill this glass to the point of overflowing, each and every day, it would spill over into the lives of my children. I decided, that very day, to create better daily habits, practice self-care, and to overflow in a positive, helpful, empowering way, into the lives of my children. It made me realize how closely my children were observing me, my reactions, and every decision I was making, or not making.
Sometimes, we find ourselves in a bad way. The only thing we are capable of working towards is just being, “okay.” But when we make it to being okay, we can then work towards being better than okay, feeling better each day, slowly progressing, growing, improving, and evolving. This, I believe, is the whole point to life! The Universe was designed from the beginning to conspire on our behalf, and we are knocked down, bruised, battered, bleeding, and torn to pieces, only to heal, come back stronger, better, and wiser because of the experiences. We are not here to merely survive.
It’s going to be okay. And then it is going to be better than okay. Keep going! Keep fighting. That is the whole point. We are all getting better as we do. When we learn more, we know more, then we do more, which empowers us to be capable of enjoying life more. We suffer for a purpose. It makes us stronger, better, and wiser, and offers us the opportunity to share our new knowledge with others, who can choose to learn from us, or to learn the hard lessons for themselves. There is purpose in everything.
We can choose to make the decision to spend MOST of our time around people who inspire us, allow us, and expect us to be our best self.
Not everyone is ready for a healthy, deep, purpose-filled, meaningful, fulfilling, give-and-take relationship. If we eliminate the people from our lives who are constantly choosing to judge, criticize, condemn, gossip, hate, and who can’t control their anger, miracles will happen. It matters a great deal WHAT we, and others, focus on and talk about the most.
Through their subject matter, and what comes out of their mouths, others will tell us everything we need to know about their beliefs, their mindset, and the lives they are currently creating. Because we are the culmination of the books we read, the content we consistently allow into our minds, and the people we spend the most time with, it is incredibly important who we choose to spend the majority of our time with. Is what they speak of, are focusing on, and constantly discussing empowering or dis-empowering? Is it in alignment with the life we are dreaming of and working towards? Is it helpful, or harmful?
IT IS OKAY TO WALK AWAY FROM TOXICITY.
IT IS OKAY TO LOVE SOME PEOPLE FROM AFAR.
We can choose to remember to focus our time and energy ONLY on the people who inspire us to be our best selves. In turn, we can do our best, at all times, to help and inspire others to be their best selves.
Sometimes, we just need to do something differently, in order to create different results. The definition of insanity is to continuously do the same things, over and over, while expecting a different result.
I think it is important to be careful to not fall prey to or become victims of the, “Savior Complex,” running around trying to save and help everyone, all the while, neglecting ourselves, believing that it is selfless and valuable to make such sacrifices. The only person we truly have control over is our self. We all have to learn, sooner or later, that we can only change and save our self. Helping others is important, but enabling others, by doing for them what they need to learn to do for themselves, helps no one, and eventually causes more harm than good.
Today, I will be loyal to the people who are loyal to me. I won’t waste time with people who are only loyal to, and who choose to be incapable of helping themselves, keeping their own cup empty and always expecting me to fill it for them. I will make a list of self-care habits I can practice daily, in order to fill my inner lantern will the fuel I need to shine brightly, to keep my glass filled and to the point of overflowing, and remember that if I do so, I will be of great benefit to those around me. Today and every day, I will be, “selfish,” remembering that the better my mental and physical health is, the more value I am capable of adding to others.
One of the most empowering tools I have come across is the book by Melody Beattie, THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO. It is all about self-care, healing, and repairing oneself. Be reading just a few minutes from this book each day, as part of a consistent, daily routine, anyone can learn the tools needed to improve their mind, and when we improve our mindset, beliefs, and personal philosophies, EVERY THING ELSE IN LIFE IMPROVES. If these are benefits you would like to enjoy, order it or buy it today, and begin a beautiful healing journey of your own.
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our personal realities.