Today’s message comes from a discussion with a friend at work. Thanks, Sammy.
Solomon’s Paradox is something we have all suffered from the effects of in our lives at one time or another. The idea behind this paradox is that while King Solomon was wiser than any man of his time and gave good, sound, valuable, and incredibly beneficial advice to others, he wasn’t very good at dealing with his own life issues and challenges.
TO KNOW, AND NOT TO DO, IS NOT TO KNOW.
We all learn through observing the actions and results of others. Some people teach us what to do, and others teach us what NOT to do. I am reminded of the time I told my youngest son he should be grateful I screwed up most of his life and that he was privileged enough to watch it all, simply because of the fact that I taught him his entire younger life what NOT to do. I have that time to make up for.
Then there are, “Askholes.” We all have a friend or someone we know who will ask for advice with an issue or problem they are having, then when we give them sound, helpful, potentially beneficial advice which has worked for us and many others when applied, they come up with every excuse in the book as to why it won’t work for THEM. They choose not to take the advice. They decide that they don’t want to do something new or different they haven’t yet tried. They decide that they would rather keep doing what they are doing and keep getting the same results that they have been getting all along.
Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time. This seems accurate to me!
Here is one way we can more easily come up with a solution for our self: When we are confronted with a difficult, challenging, or painful problem, we can remove ourselves emotionally from the situation by imagining a good friend or someone we love or care about coming to us for advice about the very situation we are being faced with. We can ask our self, “What advice would I give to that person if they came to me with the same issue?” We can then choose to do what we would advise them to do. We can, in this way, use our our generosity of kindness, love, and wisdom we have towards others, to help our self.
This practice reminds me of a question my mother taught me to ask:
WHAT WOULD I DO RIGHT NOW IF I REALLY DID LOVE MYSELF?
A good friend of mine came up with an excellent point I had to share:
We really can benefit from the question, “What would I do if I really loved myself?”
Today’s challenge for myself: Today I will face a challenging situation with love for myself. I will remember that the better I take care of myself, the better I can care for others. I will remember to always take my own advice, and to strive each day to NOT be an Askhole. When I ask for advice, I will consider it seriously and thank the person by not coming up with ANY excuses as to why their advice won’t work for me.
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our realities.