Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there!

(Me and my dad, Christmas, 2015.)

(My dad next to his father, 1995.)

FATHERS:

We all have one.  We are all blessed to be alive because of one.  Some of them are mere sperm donors.  Some are incredibly kind, giving, thoughtful teachers and friends.  Some fathers are incredibly abusive.  Some are gentle and kind.  Some fathers accept and raise kids who are not their blood and raise them as their own.  No matter what kind of father we have, one thing I believe to be true:  They all are doing the best they can to be the best father they can be.

We are all different, all the time.  They way we feel changes daily.  Very rarely do I meet an individual who I believe to be truly evil and of no value to the human race.  We are all constantly changing and going through different, difficult or life-altering challenging situations.  Things get bad, at times, but then they always get better.  Always.  This life can be a roller coaster.  It’s always up and down.  Sometimes it’s incredible, sometimes it sucks.  Through it all, I’ve realized everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.

Some of our fathers have passed on.  This can be an incredibly sad time for those whose fathers have passed on.  Memories, both good and bad, may trigger our minds on this day and cause all kinds of different emotions.  I think it is a great day to reflect on all the good things about our fathers, all the great memories made, and all the valuable time that was spent with our fathers.  No matter the situation, there is something or many things that are good that transpired because of your father.

I have been blessed with a great father.  My dad worked his ass off my entire life.  He always did his very best in everything.  He has been a great example to me and to my sisters and to all of our children.  I’m fortunate enough to still have him in my life and we have a great relationship.  It wasn’t always so!  When I was younger, I didn’t realize what a great guy he was, or how wise he was.  I was too young to realize how hard he worked for our family every single day and I certainly didn’t appreciate what he did or the sacrifices he made all the time for the comfort of our family.  I took things and time with him for granted.  Now I have many friends whose fathers have passed on and it makes me realize how blessed I am to still have him in my life.  He has always been a great example of what I think a great man should be:  Imperfect, but always trying hard and becoming better.  Stern when it is needed, but not overly so.  Consistently hard working and dedicated to his family and creating a future for himself.  Kind and loving to everyone.  Giving.  Supportive.  Always striving to do his best and become better in all ways.  Spiritual.  Health-conscientious.  Present in my life.

We are all blessed to have fathers.  What we see in them is entirely up to us.  I believe we  all owe our fathers, step fathers, and father figures gratitude, kindness, understanding and love.  No matter what kind of father they were, they gave us a better life and that one thing is something we can be grateful for.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.”

We are a part of our father and he is a part of us.  I suppose that is why it bothers me when anyone says something negative about his or her father-especially in front of the children.  When saying something negative about ones father, you are saying something negative about the child.  I believe it is best to be positive and kind when speaking about others, especially around children, and especially when it is about that child’s parent.

The older I get the more I realize how much like my father I am.  When I was younger I used to write in my journal about how I would never be impatient with my children like my father was with me, or expect so much out of them, or ever be unkind to them.  I’ve come to the realization that he was always pretty damn patient, the things he expected of me was for my own good, and he was much more kind to me than I realized for how exhausted he always was from working hard at supplying a really nice life for me, my mom and my sisters.  It turns out I am glad to be like my father in so many ways and I now strive to become a man similar to the one he is.

Some don’t have a positive role model as a father.  Some don’t have a father at all.  I think it is important for every child and every person to have a good, positive role model in their life.  That is a choice anyone can make.  A good man in anyone’s life can make a positive, impactful difference in anyone’s life, and should.  These men can be a friend’s father, a grandfather, someone at church or work that we identify with and enjoy spending time with.  Anytime there is a person that comes into our life that creates a positive impact, a loving environment, and makes us want to be a better person, that person is certainly worth holding on to for as long as possible.

Reflect today of all days on your fathers and your father figures.  Think of all the things you have to be grateful for in your life because of this person and the things he has taught you and done for you.  Express gratitude to that person!  This world becomes better by doing such things, and we become better, as well.

A few things my father has taught me over the years: