It has been said that the biggest reason for divorce is UNEXPRESSED EXPECTATIONS.
The inability to properly and clearly express what we truly want and desire IN DETAIL has the potential to ruin ANY relationship. Communication is the key to relationship success.
It is so important for us to express to others exactly what we need or want. So many times, many of us simply expect others to know what we need or want automatically, without telling them. We expect them to read our mind. We assume and expect too much, and by doing so we cause ourselves unnecessary suffering or frustration. We miss out on opportunities that may forever alter the course of our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Instead of cultivating a relationship of love, understanding, empathy, and compassion, we destroy all possibilities of a deep connection.
At one point in our lives, my wife and I wanted to buy a home. We assumed we would be unable to do so. We put it off for months. We finally decided to call a loan officer to see what we would need to do to eventually be ready to buy a home. We had assumed all along that we weren’t ready or financially able to purchase a home. All the while, we were paying rent for a large, beautiful home. 30 minutes after calling the loan officer we were approved to buy a home! A month later we were home owners. We assumed we knew the answers and we assumed they would include the word, “no.”
If we never ask, the answer will always be, “no.” My middle son, Drake has always been a great Asker. He was, and I hope he always will be, relentless in this process. He would get a “no,” and immediately find a way to change the “no” into a “yes.” He was great at, “Thinking out of the box,” finding solutions, negotiations, and coming up with creative solutions and ideas. It used to frustrate me to no end-until I realized it was a GIFT. Once my perspective shifted, I looked at him in a different way, and admired and respected him for his ingenuity. I will never worry about him getting what he needs or wants.
Most people are too busy or distracted with their own thoughts and with their own lives to consider what we may need or want from them. That’s okay! It’s NORMAL. They are simply focused elsewhere, assuming we have all we want and need. It is up to US to get those things. It is OUR responsibility. It is no one else’s job to take care of us, after a certain age.
If we never ask, the answer will always be, “no.”
Today I will ask for what I need or want. I will practice expressing my needs and wants to others and remember that if I never ask, the answer will always be, “no.” If it is something I MUST have, I will be relentless, creative, and use ingenuity to get what I want, remembering that I deserve ALL that I need and want, and it is ENTIRELY MY responsibility to get it, as long as I don’t hurt anyone in the process, and I always help others to get what THEY want, as well.
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our personal realities.