Here is one of the secrets to life: Trade your expectations for appreciation.
If we are truly unable to accept and appreciate OTHERS, we may need to go to work on learning how to effectively practice accepting and appreciating OURSELVES.
We cannot give away that which we do not have within us. Best to practice loving, accepting, and appreciating OURSELVES, so when we have the opportunity to give these things to OTHERS, we are GOOD AT IT.
Expectations are a filter through which we judge everything and everyone. Expectations are premeditated resentments. They are the mother of all disappointments.
The only person in this world we can really, truly, expect anything from is ourself. Anytime we have expectations of another, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, and in many cases taking away that person’s right to simply be who they are, in the effort to manipulate them to please us, make us more comfortable, and earn our love and acceptance. Sometimes, expectations come with manipulation, in the form of guilt and shame. Sometimes, expectations are simply our way to control others, and force them to be more like us, and more like WE think they should be, rather than allowing their path to naturally and beautifully unfold before them.
Sometimes, when we expect something of someone else, we are unable to articulate to that person exactly what it is we expect. They may want to please us, but what we are expecting from them may not be something they are interested in accomplishing in the same way that we are, or according to a similar timeline, so their heart isn’t really in it. The dedication and devotion we want them to exhibit isn’t going to be there. Resentment begins to set in. Frustration occurs. Relationships are harmed. Passive-aggressive behaviors may begin to take place. Damage is done. As a result, trust, appreciation, acceptance, and love is lost.
Sometimes, the most empowering practice we can repeat is to stop expecting things of others, and start expecting more from ourselves.
We can choose to realize, remember, and reconnect with WHAT we truly are, while continuing to work on upgrading the WHO we identify as while in our human bodies.
Jim Rohn teaches: For the last 6,000 years, not much has changed. Things have pretty much stayed the same. The summer still follows winter, and the sun still rises and sets with regularity. A man may ask, “Well, if things aren’t going to change, how will my life ever change?” The answer? When YOU change.
We can expect others to change and we can continue to be disappointed, or we can realize that we are the only ones we can expect change from, and get to work on that.
Appreciation brings out the best in people. We show appreciation and acceptance of others when we acknowledge them and what they are accomplishing. When we show appreciation to someone for a job well done or when we simply say thank you and let someone know we appreciate their hard work and dedication, something magical happens. In most cases, a person appreciated will work even harder for the simple reward of being appreciated and believing they are enough, as is, simply doing their best and BEING WHO THEY ARE. When people feel accepted and appreciated, they feel important, validated, and valuable. When we express acceptance and appreciation, we are revealing to others that we think they are important, and that they are enough simply being themselves.
When we withhold appreciation, love, and acceptance in an attempt to control or manipulate others, it is a destructive practice.
Today’s challenge for myself: Today I will trade my expectations for appreciation. I will acknowledge the good others are doing and express to them my appreciation, even if it is a simple, “Good job,” or, “I love you just the way you are.” I will set an alarm to go off daily to remember to ask myself: WHAT DO YOU APPRECIATE ABOUT YOURSELF TODAY?
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our personal realities.