November 19: Project Semicolon

A semicolon is used when an author could’ve ended their sentence but chose not to. 

The author is you, and the sentences you are writing is the book of your life. 

I have lost a few close people in my life to suicide.  They were beautiful souls that are missed in this lifetime, each and every day.  I think of them often.  Both of them contributed to my life in incredible ways.  I learned important things form them both and benefited from their presence in my life.  The end of their lives was a huge physical and emotional loss for me because of the loss of their physical presence in my life; however, even though we may physically lose people in our life time, we will never lose the things they gave us, and I believe that ANY time we think of them, THEY ARE WITH US, energetically and spiritually.

Trevor Andersen and Matthew Miller.  One was a good friend.  The other one was my ex wife’s younger brother.  I will forever love them both.  I’ll tell their beautiful stories another time, but for now, I want to share what they gave me.  I want to share with you what contributions they made in my life.

Trevor was a quirky dude.  These words best describe him: Eccentric, idiosyncratic, unconventional, non-conforming, unorthodox, unusual, strange, bizarre, peculiar, odd, outlandish, zany, informal, wacky, freaky, way-out, far out, kooky, and offbeat.  He was outlandishly unique.  He was decidedly different.  He chose not to conform and to be like everyone else, and I respected that quality about him the most.  He was a deep thinker.  He taught me the importance of intentionally being different.  He taught me that there is a certain strength in raw vulnerability.  He was one of the coolest dudes I knew.  I honestly wish I would have been blessed to know him longer.

Matt was incredible.  I remember the first time I met him.  I had just been welcomed into my ex-wife’s home for the first time.  Inside was her mother, younger sister, and brother, who was the baby.  He was about 12 at the time.  I met everyone, and we talked and laughed for a little while, but then it was 8 PM, the bewitching hour.  At the time I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to end their day at 8.  That was their time for family prayers and bed time.  I was invited to kneel on the living room floor as a part of a circle our kneeling bodies made as everyone held hands.  Their mom said a prayer and the entire prayer Matt kept squeezing my hand three times.  After the prayer ended everyone gave each other hugs and I was invited to leave for the day.  Each time I was around Matt and he had an opportunity to pat me on the back, or squeeze me hand while he held it during a prayer, he would do it three times.  I later asked him why.  He explained that each squeeze represented a word.  “I, Love, You.”  As I write this right now, I feel his presence in my heart, mind, and soul.  I believe his energy and the life energy of every person who ever walked the face of this earth, echoes through us each time we think of them.

The beauty behind the presence of Trevor and Matt’s lives will forever far outweigh the darkness, sorrow, stress, pain, and anguish that their tragic deaths left in their wakes.  The good memories will forever far outweigh the bad, because I have decided which of the two driving forces of life I want to focus on.  Choosing to focus on either light or darkness is our choice.  What we decide to focus on is a very personal choice we make each day.  This is a choice we must decide on, the very moment we roll out of bed each morning.




What we decide to focus on is a choice that has the potential to affect every other human being, not only throughout each day, but EVERY day, as the choice compounds.  Light or darkness.  On the level of energies, each thought we think is a creation.  Each thought then becomes a word, an action, a habit, an identity, and then a lifestyle.  On the level of energies, we all have the potential to positively or negatively impact everyone around us, every moment of every day.


What will you choose to create today?  How will you contribute today to the betterment of self and others?

May we all create routines, patters, and habits in our own, personal, daily lives which will positively affect ourselves and others at all times.  May we all choose light and love over darkness and fear, each moment and every chance we get.

We all lose people in our lives but we will never lose the things they gave us.  Sometimes hurt people hurt other people.  Sometimes hurt people hurt themselves.  Experiencing pain and fear can be a dangerous thing, causing us to want to give up, and by so doing we think it will make the suffering end, but pain can be a tool to push us to learn and grow.!!!

Sometimes learning and growing are the only things that will help us truly get rid of the suffering, or at least help us learn to deal with it and cope with it on a manageable level so that suffering ends, regardless of the painful moments of life.

The pain, suffering, anguish and stress we experience can all be blessings.  Without them, most of us would never try to change, improve, grow, or expand.

Pain, suffering, anguish, and stress are NEEDED, in order to experience contrasts of opposing emotions and the fullness of life and in order to further improve.  

The Universe was designed from the beginning of time to conspire on our behalf, and sometimes it uses suffering as a tool through which to teach us and stimulate personal growth and development.

Today I will remember back over my life and think of the most painful times I have experienced.  I will make a list of all the good that actually came from those experiences, or of all the potential benefits.  I will remember the lessons learned, the knowledge gained, the tips, tricks, tools, and methods acquired, and all the strength I obtained.  I will remember to be grateful for my painful moments, and the moments without it, which were amplified and more fully enjoyed because of the lack of it.  Today I will be grateful to be alive.  Today I will choose to keep going and to keep doing what I am doing-MY VERY BEST.

goodinthehead is also on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter.  Follow me there, as well, for daily messages, inspiration, motivation, and reminders.  Please pay it forward, and share this, and ANY message, which may empower someone you love or may care about.  It is through adding value to others by sharing and spreading wisdom, that we become more valuable as individuals, and collectively, as a whole, we all become wiser.

Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives.  WE CREATE our realities.


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