We all go through devastating, painful times in the course of our lives. That is a normal part of life. I don’t know if it is part of a plan devised for our greater good or not, but what we learn from and through these difficult times, and the skills, knowledge, and wisdom we acquire while going through these times, can certainly be for our greater good, and for the greater good of those around us.
We all have the choice, throughout each and every day, to react and respond to difficult, challenging, devastating times in one of two ways:
1: We become so sad, so angry, and so riddled with suffering and agony that we need, want, and have to escape that suffering. We can do that with negative distractions. If we don’t have the knowledge of some very helpful tools, or if we are simply so distraught that we just don’t care, we may turn to some very harmful, highly effective, incredibly disempowering and destructive distractions. Addictions form through these distractions. They are the coping skills we acquire to survive. Sex, alcohol, drugs, food, social media, drama, and many other addictions become a normal part of our lives as we run from the suffering and agony through running towards these distractions. We ALL have addictions, and that’s okay. Addictions have the potential to teach us some of life’s greatest lessons.
2: We become so sad, so angry, and so riddled with suffering and agony that we need, want, and have to escape that suffering. We can do that in helpful, highly effective, empowering and positive ways. We realize we need to upgrade our skill set, mindset, beliefs, practices, habits, and perspectives. We realize we are in a very vulnerable and precarious state, and we realize we may need, and maybe could use some help, to deal with our suffering and agony effectively. We realize if we do not deal with this suffering and agony in an effective way we may soon begin to do things which will harm us and the ones we love.
We can decide to have the courage to reach out to others. We can figure out the tools we can use like support groups, books, meetings, mentors, and counseling. We can become a part of a community in which others support us, but just as important, we have the opportunity to share what we are learning and offer support to others.
Through the process of helping others we are able to get out of our own heads. We remember that unless we get, and stay, good in the head, we are dead. We are able, through these connections we form and work on, to realize that what other people are going through may be so much more than we have ever experienced, and it shifts our perspectives and views in positive ways. No matter how bad we have it and no matter how badly we are hurting from the suffering and agony that our own, personal trauma has caused, there will always be someone out there who has it worse than us and who is dealing with much more pain and agony. When we realize or remember this, we get a perspective check, and we have the opportunity to empower, uplift, and be there for OTHERS, if we so choose.
We get to choose our distractions. We get to choose our focus. We get to choose how we deal with our suffering and learn how to reframe and transform our painful moments into our most important lessons and our greatest blessings. We get to choose our addictions. There is nothing as helpful as becoming addicted to personal progress and learning. We get to choose what these experiences do to us, or what they do for us. We can adopt the belief of paranoia, and believe that everyone is out to get us, and that the Universe doesn’t have our best interest at heart, or we can adopt the belief of pronoia, and believe that the Universe constantly and consistently conspires on our behalf, and every thing which is happening in our lives is happening for us.
“People can shout and scream the truth at us, but we will not see or hear it until we are ready.” – Melody Beattie
We are ALL victimized, but it is entirely up to us how long we will remain a victim.
When we are ready to stop the suffering and agony of being victimized and traumatized, and not allow ourselves to hurt any longer, or allow ourselves to hurt the ones we love any longer, we are ready for true and lasting change.
Change can be difficult, but it is never as difficult as we make it in our own minds.
Many times in this life, we will find that when we connect with others, and focus on helping, inspiring, and empowering them to heal, we heal even more quickly.
Today I will take a good look at myself and realize what pain I am dealing with and how I am dealing with it. Am I dealing with my pain in the most effective ways possible? What can I improve upon in order to deal with my pain even more effectively? How can I help someone else deal with their pain more effectively? Is there something I have learned that may be of value to someone else who is going through a rough time? How can I upgrade my skill set, my mindset, my beliefs, and my perspectives?
One of the most incredible stories I have ever heard, teaching how to overcome difficult times and how to stop being a victim, comes from an interview conducted by Lisa Bilyeu on the YouTube show, Women of Impact, featuring Alexi Panos.
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our personal realities.
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