January 5, 2020
RELATIONSHIPS:
I want to share with you a beneficial conversation I had:
Me: Who are you with, right now?
My friend: I am alone. I am by myself.
Me: Who do you WANT to be with, right now.
My friend: Someone I love, who loves me back in a similar manner. I have a LOT of love to give, but I am alone. I can date around and get someone to like be back and be with me for a while, easily enough, but I just can’t seem to keep them.
Me: That which we focus on, we attract more of. That which we choose to focus on tends to manifest itself more and more. What we tell ourselves, consistently and repeatedly, is a program which is running in the background that makes our mind look for people, places, things, situations, and circumstances, to re-perpetuate the same results, and make our beliefs and what we are telling ourselves to be true.
Answer the question again. Who do you WANT to be with, right now?
My friend: Someone I love, who loves me back in a similar manner. I have a LOT of love to give, but I am alone. I can date around and get someone to like be back and be with me for a while, easily enough, but I just can’t seem to keep them.
Me: You know what you want. That is excellent! Many people do not know what they want. Your belief that you are focusing on is one of inability and lack, and it seems that you believe that you have to be with someone to feel whole, complete, happy, and abundant. You said you are alone, by yourself. The words I AM are a creation. You said: I AM ALONE. You said it is easy to get someone for a while, but the belief came out: I JUST CAN’T SEEM TO KEEP THEM. Your subconscious hears these creations, and the program tells your brain to seek out people, places, things, situations, and circumstances, to re-perpetuate the same results, and make your beliefs and what you are telling yourself to be true.
My friend (A little angry and frustrated): It feels like my words are a PRISON! What the hell am I SUPPOSED to say?!
Me: Your words ARE a prison, if that is what you choose to believe and to think. I believe that our words are an opportunity to CREATE. Your subconscious programing will make it so, by seeking out people, places, things, situations, and circumstances, to re-perpetuate the same results, and make your beliefs and what you are telling yourself to be true. THAT WHICH YOU CHOOSE TO REPEAT IN YOUR MIND IS WHAT YOU WILL RE-PROGRAM YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS TO SEEK OUT AND LOOK FOR.
Answer this question: What makes it so easy for you to date around and get someone to like you back and be with you?
My friend: I am attractive. I am funny. I am interesting. I just don’t feel like I have the depth of character needed, in order to keep any of the GOOD ones around, you know what I mean?
Me: Oh boy, do I ever! I was in a similar situation for YEARS! Again, the words I AM are a creation. You just told me what you thought about yourself that allows you to attract people into your life. All good stuff!! You ALSO told me another belief: You believe, and perceive, that you are shallow, and that because of that, you are lacking something you believe others to want in you, but just don’t see, with is depth of character. Did I get that right?
My friend (with a furrowed brow): Yeah. I guess that IS right. That IS how I have been thinking, and if that is my repeated thoughts, and what I truly believe, I may need to work on that.
Me: We ALL have things to work at. We always will. That is actually a really beautiful part of this life experience.
Being attractive on the OUTSIDE attracts a certain type of person, hell, it attracts a lot of types, but ALWAYS one type of person, in particular. The are usually the hit-it-and-quit-it types.
Being attractive on the INSIDE attracts a totally different type of person. If a person is ONLY what the world views as attractive on the inside, and NOT the outside, sadly only a certain number of people will be attracted to that person.
Being attractive on the inside AND the outside tends to attract EVERYONE. The subconscious is programed to seek out people, places, things, situations, and circumstances, to re-perpetuate the same results, and to make our beliefs and what we are telling ourselves to be true, and so our program runs, repeatedly telling us that we are beautiful and attractive, inside and out, and our brain makes it so! The result of this consistent bombardment of these beliefs and this truth we choose to believe, is a high level of energy, vitality, confidence, competence, and situations, places, people, things, circumstances, situations, and everything in our world, telling us over and over what we already believe.
My friend: Wait a minute. Are you telling me that if I were to simply tell myself, over and over, that I am attractive, beautiful, and whole on the INSIDE AND THE OUTSIDE, that my subconscious would believe it?! It CAN’T be that simple!
Me: That is EXACTLY what I am telling you. It IS that simple, but it takes time. Our inner world is constantly being recreated by everything we tell ourselves, everything we choose to believe, and by everything we choose to repeatedly focus on. It takes time for the program to be properly entered into the subconscious. It takes time to enter the data, and it takes time for the program to take noticeable effect, but it really does work! Once the program has been entered, it is uncomfortable and unfamiliar, and the subconscious actually tries to fight this new program, but if the NEW program is all you focus on and repeat consistently, day in, and day out, it soon displaces the old program, replacing it almost entirely! Remember: ALMOST. In times of exhaustion or stress, the subconscious reverts back to old programing, but you are really good at creating an external environment in which you no longer HAVE to deal with stress or exhaustion.
My friend: No, I am not.
Me: Do you realize what you just did.
My friend: I just created.
Me: Yes!! You are catching on quickly. You are smart. You are willing to learn. You are ready to begin working on yourself in a way that most people will never believe is available to them. Do you believe that ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is available to you, and THAT YOU DESERVE IT?
My friend: Not yet, but I will get there.
Me: That is a PERFECT place to start this life-long journey of reprogramming the subconscious mind and creating the EXACT life you WANT! Here is how we will start:
MAKE A LIST OF EVERY QUALITY AND ATTRIBUTE YOU WANT, WISH, AND DESIRE TO HAVE IN THE EXACT PERSON YOU WANT. Be as detailed as possible. Envision EVERY aspect of this PERFECT PERSON FOR YOU, and write it ALL down.
Now, after taking all the time you need to do this, circle EVERY ITEM on the list that you believe that YOU can improve upon. As you do the research and the work to acquire the knowledge and skills that will be necessary for YOU to improve in all of these areas, and implement daily habits to make this happen, you will constantly be improving, growing, and evolving into MORE of who you are. This will send out a vibrational energy frequency that is every expanding and getting louder and higher.
This is the secret to attracting ANYTHING or ANYONE you want:
You must first become that which you wish to attract.
IT ALL STARTS IN THE MIND
NEXT, MAKE ANOTHER LIST. THIS list will contain every turn-off, every personality defect, every character flaw, every issue, and every weakness that you perceive yourself to have which may be blocking you from attracting what or who you want into your life.
Anger, jealousy, a belief system centered around lack, neediness, or whatever else they may be, LIST THEM ALL.
After the list is complete (talk all the time you can or need-weeks, if necessary!), start at the top of the list, read off the word OUT LOUD, then say, I NO LONGER ACCEPT YOU OR YOUR RESULTS IN MY LIFE.
Physically cross the work off of the list, with a single line, or scribble over it until you can’t read it anymore, but CROSS IT OFF THE LIST.
At the end of the list, crumple the paper up. Now, smooth it out, and toss it into a drawer, so it is no longer visibly seen, given energy, or given attention.
You just successfully removed ALL of these things like a FESTERING THORN. You can stick the thorn back in the old wound, if you like, at ANY time, but instead, it is now time to focus ONLY on the attributes on the OTHER list.
ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES
My friend: Wow! I have never heard of these things. I’m going to make these lists IMMEDIATELY.
Me: Once you do, I’d love if you would share what you have decided. I’m incredibly excited for you. Good things are coming your way. I really do believe that. For your ENTIRE LIFE, you have been being prepared to make these lists with a level of CLARITY that will empower you to level up in life, and play a whole new game, at a whole new level. It’s really fun to hang onto these lists, and come back to them in a year or two. You will be blown away at the growth you realize you have been experiencing because of your efforts and your new-found clarity!
My friend: What if I didn’t agree with something you told me? What if I didn’t believe something that you believed?
Me: That would have been perfectly fine with me. It wouldn’t affect me in the least! I simply would have asked you to explain why. If I thought your belief would have been more useful and effective for me than the one I was currently sharing with you, I would have researched it a little more, and had I found your belief to DEFINITELY be more useful and effective for me in my life, than my own belief was, I would have chosen to adopt that belief, and repeat it consistently, until it had been programed into my subconscious, to be automatically used the next time the belief was necessary.
My friend: Wait a minute. What about the truth? What if your belief was the truth, and mine wasn’t, but you still chose to adopt it?
Me: What is THE truth? Who am I, and who are you, to decide what THE truth is, for ANYBODY? I no longer have the belief that there is THE ONE AND ONLY TRUTH for everyone. I have chosen to believe that we each have OUR OWN truth, and it is anything and everything we choose it to be. I no longer seek for THE truth, but rather MY OWN truth. I now spend my time and energy seeking out that which is USEFUL and EFFECTIVE, rather than THE truth. I adopted that belief from a guy named Jesse Elder.
Anything that gets me the results in my life that I want, as long as I am causing no harm to others in the process, is MY truth.
I no longer feel the need to conform to the thoughts, truths, or beliefs of others, just so they will feel more comfortable around me, or maybe like they are MORE than me. I simply let others think, believe, and feel whatever they choose to, and I make sure to do the same, for myself. It is no longer my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. I adopted THAT belief from the actor, Anthony Hopkins.
My friend: You sure do let a lot of people contribute to your TRUTH bank. Aren’t you worried that you might adopt a truth that is harmful to you or others?
Me: That idea USED to frighten me. Then I realized something: As soon as I adopt a truth, try it out as my own, and witness the results and the feedback that are returned to me, sometimes IMMEDIATELY, I KNOW FOR MYSELF, through the experience, if it is good or bad, or right or wrong, for ME. We are all SO different and unique. What works for you, may not work the same exact way for me. What works for me, may not work for others, but when it comes to leveling up, and optimizing life practices in order to enjoy life even MORE fully than we currently do, isn’t it worth it to at least try out ANY belief, ANY tool, or ANYTHING that may actually be useful to us, as individuals?
My friend: I like that. Who do you decide it is a good idea to get these new ideas and beliefs from?
Me: That is an EXCELLENT question! This is where CLARITY in EXACTLY what you want for YOU comes into play. When you are able to sit down and meditate or think on EVERY aspect of your life, and see what it will look like in 10 years from now, EXACTLY THE WAY YOU WANT IT, until it FEELS real, and you are able to see it, smell it, taste it, feel it and hear it, IN YOUR MIND, exactly the way you want it, then make a list, writing ALL of it down in INCREDIBLE DETAIL, and revisit this vision DAILY, you are on the right track to creating ALL that you want. Your subconscious mind, or the runner of our programs we install, will immediately begin looking for NEW people, places, things, situations, and circumstances, habits, ways, beliefs, and new thoughts, to create what it believes you are ALREADY experiencing.
BY VISUALIZING YOUR GOAL AS ALREADY COMPLETED, YOU FLIP YOUR MIND ONTO THE FREQUENCY THAT CONTAINS THE WAY THAT IT WILL BE ATTRACTED TO YOU.
I learned this from a man named BOB PROCTOR. I chose to believe this as a truth for myself, and so far, it has been correct! My subconscious has made it so!
My friend: That’s amazing. If I hadn’t known you for years, and seen all that you have been through, first hand, I wouldn’t believe half of the things you are saying, but because I have seen it work so well for you, I decided to come to you and ask for your advice, and I’m glad I did!
Me: So am I! And THAT is the secret to success: Look around! It is SO easy to see the success of others who we admire and want to be more like. Wealth, abundance, riches, spirituality, good health, incredible relationships-ALL of these things are had by SOMEONE, and the key is to find THOSE people. Research them! Know EVERYTHING about them, and why they are so incredibly successful in ALL of these areas of life. The people who are incredibly successful in ONE area of life, but neglect to be successful in OTHER areas of their lives, are usually in pain. They suffer. They look good, on the OUTSIDE, in this one area of life, but on the INSIDE, they are hurting. Just ask them, and if they are honest, truthful, and transparent with you, they will tell you. The people to REALLY research the hell out of are the ones that are able to find BALANCE in their lives, through their daily practices, routines, and habits.
Tony Robbins teaches that we can literally compress DECADES of knowledge, experiences, and wisdom, into just a FEW DAYS or a FEW HOURS! MANY people have spent DECADES messing up, failing, learning, making mistakes, and learning more, until they have FINALLY succeeded at doing something incredible. These are the books to read. WHATEVER you want, WHATEVER you choose to research, someone, somewhere, had completely MASTERED that thing! I have found it incredibly useful to be SUPER CLEAR on what I want, then go out and find the MASTERS of these things. THESE are the people I choose to learn from, no matter what century they lived it. Tools are tools, and when we have the best tool for the job, we can build ANYTHING.
Tim Ferriss teaches that to learn from the best, we don’t need to actually MEET them, we just need to ABSORB them. This can be done through books, audio, or a single powerful quote.
My friend: You used to be WELL-KNOWN for the guy that was incapable of being able to remember ANYTHING? How is it that you are able to retain, recall, and share all of this information so quickly and easily?
Me: Practice. ANYTHING we repeat, practice, consistently focus on, and program into our subconscious, becomes OUR truth. I literally worked at it for a really long time. I mean, you know the old me, where I was until 2014, and what a dark place I was stuck in!
My friend. Yeah. I DO know that old you. We haven’t spoken in so long that this NEW you is really boggling my mind.
Me: It boggles my mine, as well, but following people I wanted to me more like has empowered me with the knowledge, wisdom, tools, and MOMENTUM, to get to where I am today. I truly feel like I have just barely scratched the surface of the tip of an iceberg that literally goes on FOREVER. I’m really excited to learn, do, and BE more. An I’m excited that you want the same thing for you, as well!
My friend. I really do! I have a lot of ideas to work with. I feel like you have been handing me useful tools that I can actually use to build something great for myself. I feel really hopeful, for the first time in a long time! It’s so overwhelming, because there is SO MUCH I can do, but I really don’t know where to start. Where did YOU start, when you got out of the mental hospital, in 2014?
Me: I started with my mind. I knew that things had to change for me, or I just wasn’t going to make it, and I heard something that really helped a lot, from a man I now listen to, almost EVERY DAY, as part of a daily, habitual, morning routine. His name is Jim Rohn, and even though he passed away in 2009, his teachings and beliefs I have chosen to adopt and implement into my life have resulted in the life I am now living. I will forever be grateful to him, and to ALL people who have displayed the courage it takes to SHARE THEIR STORY and to SHARE WHAT THEY HAVE LEARNED THAT HAS HELPED THEM.
He said, IN ORDER FOR THINGS TO CHANGE FOR YOU, YOU’VE GOT TO CHANGE.
My friend: That’s it?
Me: Yes. These words cut me to the core. All of the years I spent as a victim, making excuses for the life I was living, and why I couldn’t do better or be more, came to the forefront of my mind. It was really uncomfortable to face the fact that I WAS THE ONE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LIFE I WAS LIVING. I realized that I deserved everything I was getting, because I had made it a habit to continue to accept everything I was getting. We deserve was we tolerate, and we always get more of what we accept. I realized I needed some clear boundaries, in order to protect myself-not just from others, but from ME, as well! I came across a book called, THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO, by Melody Beattie, and it was the perfect way to start a morning routine. It has a paragraph for each day. Any day of the year, you can flip to that day’s date, and read the paragraph for that day. It has a TON of helpful, useful, effective beliefs and tools! I have read that book, every day, since 2014, when I got out of the psych ward at that hospital.
My friend: I saw that book laying over there on the table. Is there anything else you do?
Me: Yes. I’ve researched a LOT of people. Almost ALL of the successful ones have two things in common: They all have a daily morning routine, and they all meditate.
I created a website to share with ANYONE and EVERYONE who is seeking these things to be able to easily find them. All of the tools I have experimented with, the habits I have tried out, the people I have learned from and chosen to follow on social media, or read books from-EVERYTHING is on this website. I also started a BLOG. Then I decided to do what Melody Beattie did, and created a daily paragraph, or a daily article, for all of the things I wanted to focus on, and I re-write each article, once a year, making it better, going deeper, and using it as a recreation and reprogramming tool for myself. I post these articles on social media, every day, as part of my own, unique, personalized, daily, morning routine. I am now rolling out classes on the web site. It is the first thing I will be selling on my website, and I am really excited about the possibilities! Everything I have done on the web site, so far, has been free, and it will all stay that way.
After I start selling these online classes, I’ll be selling merchandise, workbooks, and coaching sessions. This is soon going to be my full-time obsession!
My friend: Oh wow. Before talking with you today, I would have literally told you that you are CRAZY. Now, I believe you. And I can see that you believe it, as well.
Yeah. I saw that stuff on your social media. It was what made me reach out to you. I wanted to know if you really thought all of these things, and if it was really even you, or if you were just copying and pasting stuff to look good, or something. I can see now, that you really have changed a lot. Why did you decide to call it GOODINTHEHEAD?
My: (I laughed out loud) I was wondering what to call my blog, and knew that I wanted to be good in the head, so that’s what I went with.
My friend: Makes sense to me! At first, I thought it read, GOODHEAD, but then I realized it was actually GOODINTHEHEAD. I was wondering if you had gotten into porn, or something.
We bot had a good laugh over this.
Me: That is a story for another day, my friend. It used to be an addiction I used to distract myself from PAIN. I need to get going now, and meet my family for dinner.
My friend: Can we talk again soon?
Me: Of course! We will.
My friend: Thank you for your time.
Me: Thank YOU, man. This did more for me than it did for you.
My friend: I seriously doubt that.
Me: And yet that is what I choose to believe. I was able to, BECAUSE OF YOU, remind myself of what is truly important to me. I was able to reinforce some of the beliefs that I have implemented, along with newer ones that I am still trying out. You really helped ME out, by reaching out, and allowing me the opportunity to talk with you, so thank YOU. I really do appreciate it.
