July 4: Suffering

Through the pain we suffer comes greatness.  Robin Sharma teaches, “Suffering is the price of greatness.”  We eventually desire to end our suffering, and so we change, develop, acquire new skills, and grow in order to do so.  Pain and suffering can be our greatest source in this life of blessings, personal greatness, motivation, momentum, and opportunities for skill acquisition, wisdom, experience, and healing.  Personal Development is a natural bi-product of pain and suffering.  WHEN we experience this period of personal development, is entirely up to US.

This life victimizes EVERY ONE OF US.  How long we choose to remain a victim is OUR PERSONAL CHOICE.

Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is a choice.  Pain is usually caused by an outside source at one moment in time.  It is something that happens TO us.  Suffering is internal, something we do to ourselves, as we focus on and ruminate on that one moment in time of pain, thereby reliving the painful moment for as long as we choose to focus on it.

Many times, when things happen to us, they are actually happening FOR us.  Looking back, I realize that if I look long and hard enough, EVERYTHING that has happened “TO” me, has actually benefited me in some way.  Even the most devastating experiences of this life have taught me lessons, empowered me to grow, and motivated me to expand in ways I never would have, without those experiences being present in my life.

The most frustrating, enraging thing I ever heard about suffering was this:  “When you are truly tired of suffering, you will decide not to suffer anymore.”  It was frustrating and enraging because I didn’t yet know how to simply stop suffering.  When I realized it was as easy as shifting my focus, I became empowered, and started practicing presence, appreciating the now, and finding something to be grateful for in every moment, rather than being completely consumed in the painful moments and the hurtful memories of my past.

Pain and the things in this life that happens to us are all beyond our control.  Our suffering comes from our beliefs and perceptions and what we choose to focus on.  Suffering comes from the MEANINGS WE ATTACH to what is happening to us.  Remaining attached to the meanings we assign to our suffering prolongs the suffering.  Detaching ourselves from our stories and from our suffering ends it.  Practicing presence, and remaining continuously in the present moment of now, tends to alleviate suffering.  Re-framing our stories in a positive way allows us to redefine the meanings we attach to everything, and alters the internal chemical and hormonal structure and our inner environment, thereby allowing us to enjoy life rather than suffering through it.

When we realize and believe that everything is happening FOR us, not TO us, it all feels different, somehow.

Sometimes it seems impossible to control these internal things, but with time and consistent effort, practice, and improvements, we are able to control our level of suffering through controlling our habitual ways of thinking.  It diminishes or it grows, depending ENTIRELY upon where we place our time, energy, attention, and focus.  We have the ability to change what we think about EACH MOMENT.  That is up to us.  It is within our control, and THAT is OUR responsibility.


We are all victimized in this world.  The greatest, highest, most enlightened version of our self will eventually rise above the suffering and choose not to be a victim.  Being victimized is not a choice.  Whether or not we choose to remain victims is entirely up to us.  It took me over 40 years to realize this, and choose to adopt this perspective and believe this as my truth.  I remained in a victim state for far too long, and it is my hope that others learn from my mistakes.

It is more helpful than harmful for us all to be grateful for the external sources that push us into learning to control the internal world we constantly re-create through our thinking.  The more beautiful we create our internal world to be, the more beautifully we project that internal environment into reality.  As crazy and non-intuitive as it sounds, gratitude for the pain in our life will grow our souls and help us more than hatred and resentment towards the pain, OR WHAT OR WHO WE PERCEIVE AS THE SOURCE of our pain.  Others can help us out of a bad situation and rescue us from pain, but nobody can save us from our suffering.  That is 100% our responsibility.

I love the idea of PRONOIA, or the teaching that The Universe was designed to conspire on our behalf.  I have a theory that if we focus on Personal Development and Healing, The Universe will no longer be forcefully engaged to create situations within our lives for growth through pain and suffering.  It could be that the shift in focus turns our minds entirely to this creative process, leaving no space for thoughts or focus on things like lack, pain, suffering, difficulties, and challenges.  Or maybe it’s true, and The Universe leaves us to grow, evolve, and improve on our own, as long as we are actively engaged in this Personal Development and Healing Process, no longer having the programmed need to do it FOR us through pain.

The Universe was designed from the very beginning to constantly conspire on our behalf. ALL things that transpire are happening FOR us, not TO us.  It is our perceptions and beliefs that make it so…WE create our physical reality, and it all starts with our thinking.

The quality of our thinking determines the exact mixtures of chemicals and hormones INSTANTLY injected into our blood stream with each and every thought. Within TWO pumps of the heart, that mixture travels in the blood stream to over 80,000 MILES of our vascular system throughout our entire body, causing us to feel certain ways and creating a magnetic energy around our bodies which pulsates outwards and away from us attracting all that is similarly magnetically charged, and appearing repulsive to all that is not.  How incredible!

If we HABITUALLY only allow high quality thinking and only high quality content to occupy the space and energy within us, ONLY healing hormones and chemicals will be created. When we shrink from fear and expand into LOVE, we create a reality FILLED with nothing but “perfect days.”

BE LOVE. By doing so, it is all we will experience, attract, magnetically pull into our realm, and consistency re-create, by projecting our inner reality into physical existence.

Today I will examine the painful moments of my life, and realize the helpful changes and tools, which were acquired in order to end the suffering, even if the painful situations or circumstances continued.  What were the things that helped me the most in my life in my own, personal, unique healing experience?

Finding OTHER WAYS OF BEING is an option for ALL of us.  One of my favorite teachers on finding other ways of BEING, is Wayne Dyer.  Plug his name into YouTube, and prepare for a full dose of enlightenment!

Mo Gawdat, the author of SOLVE FOR HAPPINESS, has created step by step practices and easy to comprehend ways to re-frame perspectives and see things in more beneficial ways.  I highly recommend plugging his name into YouTube and listening to ANY and ALL content that he is included in.






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Remember:  Mindset matters.  Character counts.  That which we choose to consistently focus on is everything!


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