Complimenting others, and giving them credit for the good, helpful, effective contributions and positive things they say and do, is one of the secrets to success in this life-but how often do we do this for ourselves?
SELF appreciation is one of the best habits to form, and one of the greatest gifts we could ever give to ourselves and others. It takes the power, control, and energy back from others that appreciation provides, and places it exactly where it needs to be-back in our hands.
Many times, the people we crave the most appreciation, love, kindness, and acceptance from, aren’t emotionally capable of giving us these things, and many of them never will be-and that’s okay. When we are in the habit of giving these things to OURSELVES, our needs are met, and we are no longer disappointed by unmet expectations or perceived needs that we believe can only be met by others. This frees up energy to use elsewhere in our lives. This frees US, from any possibilities of being controlled by or manipulated by others, who withhold these things on occasion to do just that. When we fulfill our own needs, and no longer allow or expect others to do this for us, it completely changes the game!
Letting go of the need to be attached to the good or bad opinions of others is a beautiful way to live. Letting go of the need to be seen any certain way is FREEING.
I learned this helpful, empowering tool, while watching a short coaching video by Brooke Castillo on YouTube about self-appreciation. It has completely changed the way I look at things, and how I operate at work and in my relationships. After watching this video about self-appreciation, I set an alarm on my phone to go off every afternoon, reminding myself to reflect upon the day and make a mental list of ALL the reasons I am proud of myself and appreciate myself for that day. It has completely altered the way I view myself, and empowered me to let go of the need for approval from others. It has become a magically transformative habit.
Making a timeline of our lives is a helpful exercise. Thinking about, and writing down, the major events and highlights of our lives and the lessons learned from them, can be an extremely useful way we can give credit to, and show appreciation for, ourselves. It will help us reflect on, and remember, some of the events and experiences that have contributed to who we are today. It will help us realize and remember just how far we have come in our own learning process! It will give us the opportunity to give ourselves the credit we deserve for what we have accomplished up to this point, and it can help us to realize what we may want to do more of. It is a great exercise to boost our confidence, celebrate our successes, shine light on our mistakes and weaknesses, and check our perspectives. It is a great way to begin coming up with a personal plan for continued improvement and a way to jump-start a valuable, personal evolution.
When we screw up, and we do all sometimes screw up, we need to put it on ourselves! We need to accept responsibility for our own thoughts, words, and actions. When we mess up, we need to remember that it is not a failure.
There is no failure, only learning opportunities.
When we do something right, and we all sometimes do right things, it is not just a success! It is the beginning of an opportunity to repeat something that works for us and make it a HABIT. We can remember to give and, accept with grace, the credit we deserve for doing something correctly. We can choose to remember that we are good, strong, and worthy, just the way we are. We can choose to remember, and consistently remind ourselves, that we are good enough, in this moment. We can choose to remember that we are perfect in this moment, just the way we are, and that we can be just a little better tomorrow than we are today. We can choose to remember that doing our BEST is, and always will be, good enough.
Our BEST, when consistently practiced, consistently becomes BETTER.
We can choose to remember that we are all a work in progress. We are where we are today as a sum total of all the choices we have made up to this point. Constant, consistent, small, incremental improvement is the key. If the strategy we have been using for our own, personal improvements hasn’t been or isn’t working as well as we would like, we can always choose to improve our strategy. We can course correct at any moment of our lives. I believe it is INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT to experiment with as many experiences and tools as possible, with the goal of using them to optimize ourselves, and this life experience, and then to share what has worked, and also what hasn’t, with others, as a potential roadmap for them to use if they choose to.
Today I will create the basic outline of my own, personal, life timeline. In it I will include the major events of my life (good and bad) that have shaped and molded me throughout it, and the good that has come from each of these events. I will make it a habit to APPRECIATE MYSELF, each and every day.
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our realities.