Sometimes, in this life, there are periods of stagnation due to the fact that everything is fine. Everything is great! Everything is perfect. Everything seems to have happened, and worked out perfectly. Everything seems to have fallen into place, and we have become comfortable. We don’t want to change a thing because all is well. Then something unexpected and unwanted takes us by surprise. Life happens, and we have to deal with something we didn’t want to deal with.
The issue is, because we weren’t really expecting what has happened, we don’t have the coping skills, tools, and mechanisms in place to deal with what has happened in a positive, effective, efficient way, YET. All of our focus, energy, time, concentration, and resources are taken away from all of the other, important and enjoyable areas of our lives, and our complete attention and focus turns to dealing with the current problem(s) at hand. What if there is a better way?
Some of the greatest advice I have ever heard is from Tony Robbins: “Kill the monster when it is a baby.” When we are presented with a problem (a monster), no matter how big or small it is, it is best to shed a light on it for everyone to see, rush at it, tackle it, and come up with multiple solutions to solve the problem (kill that monster!) It is always a good idea to have a back-up plan or two. It’s also a good idea to have people in our lives we help with such things, and who help us, as well.
There are people who employ a therapist year-round. They get ahead of potential problems, are constantly having their beliefs and perspectives challenged and upgraded, are constantly learning new tools and coping mechanisms BEFORE issues arise, and always have someone to speak with and bounce ideas off of. I think this is wise.
If we get the wisdom confused and begin eating a chocolate bar a day, instead of an apple a day, in order to keep the doctor away, eventually it will catch up with us! One little, tiny, minuscule, seemingly meaningless, seemingly unimportant lapse in judgement, will lead into other lapses in judgement, until the results of all the bad decisions we make creep up on us unexpectedly, becoming something devastating, self-inflicted, and destructive. “Out of nowhere,” we have a heart attack. “Out of nowhere,” we have marital problems we need immediate help with. “Out of nowhere,” we have an uncontrollable drug or alcohol problem that is just too big for us to handle. “Out of nowhere,” we feel the need to check in to a mental hospital because we just can’t seem to escape our pain and we want to kill our self to make it he suffering end so we don’t have to do the required, necessary work to change.
Sometimes, we need help killing the monster when it is a baby, but we are scared of the monster, or we are just inexperienced in how to kill monsters. Maybe we don’t yet have the coping skills, tools, experience, wisdom, or habits we need. It takes a lot of hard work and practice to become good at anything, and killing monsters is no exception to the rule.
To enjoy a good, rewarding, happy life experience, we can choose to learn to kill the monsters when they are babies. We can choose to practice doing it every chance we get, and we will get extremely good at it.
Therapists and psychologists can absolutely be used as a tool or a preemptive strike, to battle the monsters of life. There are tools we are not always taught as young children by young parents who haven’t learned the same tools that we all will need.
The truth is, life is therapy. We have something to learn from everyone we come into contact with. There are so many tips, tools, and tricks we can learn along the way that will benefit us and help us add value to the lives of those around us. There are so many teachers and mentors out there, and many times, our parents are the best people we can speak with and learn from, especially LATER in life, after life has taught them lessons that we may not even know about or see coming.
The procedure of taking the time to find a quiet place and sit still, unpack the information, knowledge, wisdom and experiences we have lived through, and process it ALL through journaling or writing it down is, “self-therapy.” I believe it can also be important and incredibly valuable to do the same with someone else, as well. New insights to our experiences, given to us by others who have a totally different view, set of beliefs, and an entirely different set of life experiences, can be extremely beneficial to us.
Meditation is another excellent tool. It allows us a few moments of time to escape our minds and all the incessant, un-ending thoughts that are constantly bombarding us. The audiobook, STRESS LESS ACCOMPLISH MORE, by Emily Fletcher, has proven to be one of the most valuable books I have ever purchased, as it is when I learned to begin a consistent meditation practice.
Many times, it is our THINKING that is feeding the monsters of life, and meditation kills them through starvation.
As Simon Sinek teaches, “Together is better.” There is wisdom in this.
Today I will find a method or means of therapy in order to improve my chances of killing the monsters that will inevitably enter my life at unexpected moments. I vow today to become skilled, through practice, at killing the monsters when they are babies. I know that for things to change for me, I have to change.
Jarret Adams, during an interview with Tom Bilyeu on the hit YouTube show, Impact Theory, literally attributes therapy to his ability to navigate the justifiable anger he sometimes works through.
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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is what EXPANDS in our lives. WE CREATE our realities.